WomenAreNuts Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Hey all, So my ex girlfriend dumped me two months ago. We haven't had contact whatsoever. I still miss her very much. Is that normal? Or am i torturing myself by allowing myself to think about her? I don't know..i'm just really bummed out even though it's been two months. This was the second time we broke up...we're both 27. The first time we broke up she still made an effort to call me once a week and say hi and what not. Eventually we ended up back together, but once again we broke up. This time she hasn't called me once. There wasn't any infidelity or anything like that..just "lack of communication". She's extremely attractive and i think this may play into the reasons why i'm still thinking about her. Also, she broke up with me on the phone...is that messed up to do even if we only dated for four months? Should i be mad at her for breaking up with me over the phone as oppossed to in person? I don't understand...her last two boyfriends were moochers...she paid for everything for them. I'm well off so i paid for expensive dinners and weekend getaways yet she still dumped me. She got back together with her ex after he cheated on her...yet she's not trying to get back with me even though i treated her like a queen. She has an abusive past...raped at age 16 and molested/abandoned by her father. Does this play into it at all? I don't know...you guys have been very helpful in helping me understand this breakup and I appreciate it...thanks guys/girls. Link to post Share on other sites
azgirl Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Sounds like she may have a classic case of "everyone loves an a**hole." Some women - and I'll admit, I have done this in the past, too - run from men that treat them well, and gravitate towards men that treat them like sh*t. There is nothing you can do about this. She has to eventually grow tired of this type of guy and learn to appreciate the ones that treat her like a lady and with the respect and kindness she DESERVES. This is often a manifestation of low self-esteem (even if she may seem like the most confident woman in the world) and people who have been raped/molested tend to suffer from feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy no matter how well they cover it up. Sometimes, people in her shoes just don't feel they deserve happiness so they reject someone who treats them well and makes them feel good about themselves in favor of someone who validates how they feel about themselves and makes them unhappy. Does that make any sense?? Or help at all? Link to post Share on other sites
J_weik Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Women run from a**h***s to, i know. I used to be one. I was a controlling freak, and i know it was wrong, just not at the time. What i wouldn't give to go back 2 years. I wasn't the real me when i was with her, just an a**h***. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 From everything that you have said, I cannot blame you for being upset. I have been involved with some complicated women in the past myself, as well as women I should just have run away from It is normal to take many months to recover from break-ups. The time will come when you will be healed. Until then, do what you think is best for you, as we all have to learn for ourselves in these situations. Do not worry, however. You invested in this relationship, and it did not work out. You have every reason to take as long as you need to get over things. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 Of course it is normal; buy the book "makeup dont break up".. it says that it takes about 6-8 weeks to go into your emptiness and really miss that person, but it usually means for the dumpER. has she contacted you? im the same age as you...im going thru this and it hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
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