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Invited to a party at Ex's family home


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My fiancee broke up with me for another guy back in March04. We had been together for seven years prior to that. The last 18 months until around December however were considered long distance because I took a job assignment for a promotion with my company in another state. Maybe that was not a good idea, but hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, this is your classic story where the family loves the ex-boyfriend "me" and despises the new dude.

 

Yesterday was her brother's graduation from high school. Her mother and sister and brother invited me to their house (where my ex still lives as well) for the party. I accepted, thinking it was only natural, the kid saw me as an older brother and we had alot of fun together while I was going out with his sister. But as the weekend got closer, I realized that this was strange because I have not been in any contact with my ex within the last 3 months. So I called her to verify that she was ok with me coming over? She said of course and confirmed that her new boyfriend was "not invited". However, that he wants to come over because for some reason he really wants to meet me? That was all I needed to hear to bring back the venomous feelings that I just got rid of this past month or so. This SOB steals my fiancee from me by using every tactic in the book (lies, money, the old "you know he has another girlfriend where he is at") And now wants to extend the olive branch? That was all I needed to set me off.

 

The problem is that I bailed on the grad party basically the day of, because when I called to say that I was coming over, my ex's mom informed me that my ex girlfriend had some choice words to say with the rest of the family in an argument that morning and left the house. Her mom insisted it was not about me, (yeah right...) So I said that I was not going to come over. I dropped off a card with his gift and left. (of course I have to see the jackass new boyfriend driving down the same street when I am doing this) No hard feelings were taken. About 4 hours later my ex calls me and asks why didn't I come over and that her brother was really sad that I did not show up. (kind of like "you failed" again...) Man that really pissed me off because I do love that kid, but I didn't want to ruin his party with my problems with his sister. I just did not trust that she could be civil, nor did I want to be forced to meet her new boyfriend or have to hear about her dinner plans with him. By going to that party I was asking for everything that I did not want. So I made the decision to call her brother and explain to him that I would love to hang out with him maybe go to a baseball game or something rather than continue with this vicious cycle. He seemed cool with that.

 

Was I right? It really bothers me. I refuse to be "played" any longer.

 

The reason this bothers me is because for the first time I wasn't "consistent" or reliable for them. I am not going over there to be the lovable loser and pretend that everything is alright. I have learned in the past that the way things move forward is with sincere honesty, and by going to this party I was not being honest with myself or her family. I don't know? Just really makes me mad to not come through I guess? Do I have feelings for the ex still? of course, but things like this really make me question what I saw in her in the first place? I know what I "saw" physically, its what's between her ears that bothers me.

Thanks for reading.

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hurtingandconfused

You should have wacked him lefty. J/k :p

 

I think you did the right thing. This new b/f of hers worries about you. For the most part(in this case) you have the winning hand.(if that makes any sense.)

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