Broken Heart Needs Healing...how To Make Someone Have A Change Of Heart???

[kalari26267]

WELL MY QUESTION IS THIS..

I WAS DATING MY NOW EX (AS OF LAST NIGHT) FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS. WE HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR 6 MONTHS. WE HAD THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. WE NEVER FOUGHT (UP TILL ABOUT 1.5 WEEKS AGO). WE ALWAYS TALKED OUT THINGS THAT WERE BUGGING US OR WHATEVER SO WE WOULDN'T END UP FIGHTING. HE HAS PULLED AWAY DRAMATICALLY IN THE PAST 2 WKS. OR SO I THOUGH HE HAD. HE TOLD ME THAT HE IS JUST BEEN TRYING TO CATCH UP IN SCHOOL AND WITH FRIENDS HE HASN'T SEEN OR WORK HE WASN'T DOING. HE THEN TOLD ME 3 DAYS AGO, THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO END OUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT HE IS HAVING DOUBTS THAT WE MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE TOGETHER BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN ARGUING THE PAST WEEK AND A HALF. WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER FACE TO FACE EVERYTHING IS GREAT FOR THE MOST PART. SO I WROTE AN EMAIL TO HIM EXPLAINING WHAT IS WAS THAT I WAS MISSING..LIKE HOW HE USED TO CALL ME OR DRIVE INTO TOWN TO SEE ME JUST BECAUSE HE MISSED ME, HOW HE USED TO LOOK AT ME WITH A LOOK OF ADORE IN HIS EYES..(HE STILL DOES, BUT NOT LIKE BEFORE).

 

LAST NIGHT WE HAD A MISUNDERSTANDING AND HE WAS UPSET AND HUNG UP ON ME. THEN HE CALLED BACK AND TOLD ME THAT HE WAS THROUGH WITH THE RELATIONSHIP. HE WASN'T HAPPY ANYMORE AND I WASN'T THE PERSON FOR HIM. YET HE WANTS TO STILL REMAIN GOOD FRIENDS LIKE WE HAVE BEEN IN THE PAST. I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM BUT IN ALL REALITY I STILL WANT THE EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP SO I AM NOT SURE IF I SHOUJLD BE FRIENDS WITH HIM OR NOT.?? BASICALLY I AM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO WIN HIS HEART BACK AND TO SHOW HIM WE CAN STILL WORK THIS OUT AND GET BACK TO GOOD!...SHOULD I LEAVE HIM ALONE AND HAVE MINIMAL CONTACT WITH HIM OR SHOULD I TRY TO BE ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS AND HOPEFULLY HE WILL COME AROUND??

 

HOW DO MEN'S MINDS WORK...LOL??? WE DID GO TO THE MOVIES TODAY WITH MY KIDS. WE HAD ALREADY PLANNED IT SO WE DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET MY KIDS. THINGS WERE OKAY LITTLE TENSE AT FIRST BUT WE WERE LAUGHING AND FLIRTING LIKE WE ALWAYS HAVE IN NO TIME. AS WE WERE SAYING GOODBYE HE LEANED DOWN AND HUGGED ME, DIDN'T LET GO. I ASKED HIM IS THIS REALLY WHAT HE WANTS..HE PAUSED FOR A MINUTE AND SHOOK HIS HEAD AND SAID YEAH..BUT HIS LOOK MADE ME BEG THE DIFFER...I WAS CARESSING HIS FACE AND BLEW HIM A KISS WHICH HE BLEW ME ONE BACK..THEN HE SAID HE WOULD BE OVER LATER THIS WEEK TO CHANGE MY OIL FOR ME..AND I ASKED HIM TO CALL ME TONIGHT AND HE SAID HE WOULD...SO ...IS THERE A CHANCE I COULD GET HIM BACK? IF SO, WHAT STEPS DO I NEED TO DO TO MAKE IT HAPPEN? MEN AND WOMEN ARE SO DIFFERENT WHEN IT COMES TO FEELINGS AND WHAT WORKS AND WHAT DON'T TO GET SOMEONE TO HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART..SO I AM TOTALLY BOGGLED!!

[bamaguy20]

trust me....it took me a long time to realize this..my ex girlfriend and i were BEST friends......we did EVERYTHING together, were so comfortable in front of each other......but all thought the pain of being apart from her the past few months..ive come to the conclusion we cant be friends at least for a good wihle....while we were apart but trying to remain best friends..it was clear that wouldnt work and because of all that we got in a fight 11 days ago, and ended on awful terms..who knows if we will talk again or not now......odds are we will...but who knows...besides not being friends witht he person you love will help you get over them more than anything else..you just need to go cold turkey..and it took me three months of pain and turmoil to realize this...

[kat217]

i honestly don't think you could 'make' someone change the way they feel...might be possible for a short period of time but i'm not sure it's going to last for good.

HE has to come to realize and want that getting back/being with you is what HE wants based on HIS feelings...

 

Besides, if i was in your situation and somehow i manage to get him back, i would feel very insecure in the relationship (i.e., worring when he'd change his mind and decide to break up again etc..) -- which is not something i want out of a relationship...