it's official my friend and my ex spent the night together

[calgary]

she just uploaded a photo of him making lunch at hers.

 

He told me he'd never do that to me..

 

We broke up 2 months ago, she went from being the most amazing person I've ever known to the most heartless I've ever known in my life so destroyed right now.

 

Don't think there's anything anybody can say or do to cheer me up. it's just an awful thing for anybody to go through .

[westjames111]

You are right there is nothing I can say to cheer you up. I can tell you though that I am going through the exact same thing, maybe worse actually. My ex left me for a friend 2 months ago. Its hard , but just know that time heals everything and you aren't the first person that this has happened to. It will get better. I am too still struggling through this everyday and its hard. All you can do is start on NO CONTACT. block her on all social media and delete her number. This is very hard to do but I PROMISE it will pay off in the end. You are only hurting yourself by checking up on them.

 

If you were good to her one day she will look back and realize it. When that day comes you will be far away with your head held high and not looking back.

 

Best of luck my friend.

[Mack05]

Calgary we can't help you unless you defriend/block him and block her. Until then mate sadly I can't offer any help..

[CarrieT]

Calgary, I am going to do a bad thing and quote you from the very first post you made around here when you were saying how No Contact worked for you and made you feel better....

 

.

I can move on now. I know i'll be fine without her.. I know what went down was unacceptable for me with the flirting.. and she probably saw me as possessive clingy and insecure.. but the thing is, I believe that could have been resolved and the truth is, is that she probably lost the spark from the relationship and wanted something new and exciting again.

so this was just a way out fast...

 

now that I feel like the guy I was before I want her rather than needing her and all that..

 

 

Where did she upload a photo of your friend that you could see it? FB? You need to block her and her friend so you don't see this stuff. That is the only way you are going to heal.

 

NO CONTACT works - but you have to seriously move on from having any access to any sites where you can see this stuff. And the friend? Well, obviously he is not a friend and I'm sorry for you for that.

[ThatJustHappened]

Want me to kick your friend in the n***?

[calgary]

Calgary, I am going to do a bad thing and quote you from the very first post you made around here when you were saying how No Contact worked for you and made you feel better....

 

 

 

 

Where did she upload a photo of your friend that you could see it? FB? You need to block her and her friend so you don't see this stuff. That is the only way you are going to heal.

 

NO CONTACT works - but you have to seriously move on from having any access to any sites where you can see this stuff. And the friend? Well, obviously he is not a friend and I'm sorry for you for that.

this is true.. i'm not sure i'm as upset about her as I am about losing a friend I've grown up with that I've shared holidays with. I don't know I just completely lost trust in people. i'm so destroyed it's just not the right thing of either of them to do.. i don't know i just think what they've done is extremely selfish and cruel i hate them both so much right now ! i deleted her.. my friend let me know not to hang around with him anymore and showed me the picture and apologised for being the one to show me but told me i needed to know he was untrustworthy

[lookingaround]

I am so sorry. That is a sucky situation to be in.

 

The same thing happened to me about 4 years ago. I was much younger at the time (aka more immature) and I confronted them about it. Let me just tell you...nothing that anyone will tell you will make this situation better. And your friends shouldn't be telling you what's going on in your ex's life. It's just delaying your recovery. I guess it was nice that they told you what kind of a friend you have? I don't know, if I had broken up with my ex, I wouldn't want to know those types of things.

 

Keep up with the NC, and time DOES heal situations like these. I no longer talk to my ex or my so-called "friend," but I don't hate them, and I've moved on.

[calgary]

I needed to know, I couldn't keep calling and texting him and hanging out with him whilst he was doing the dirty behind my back could I really ?

 

that would be worse than this situation! people are flat out horrible and selfish.. I did so much for her I can't understand how she has it in her to be with my friend. it just seems completely unfair and heartless and makes me look like a fool.

 

I completely hate both of them right now. I really wish I'd never spent any time with either of them. i'm so hurt. time hopefully does heal, but she just keeps twisting the knife in harder and harder . it's been a difficult break up. I don't know what she can do worse than this but she'll find a way.

[McDonald]

He's obviously not a friend. So lets take that step and stop calling him one. And do not give him the power to say u can't hang out around him.... You should have told him what he told you...

[Echo000]

goddamn..people nowadays smh. pathetic. I had my best friend of over 15 years flirt with my ex just a week after we split,,but to sleep with the ex? and for the ex to knowingly sleeep with someone who is your friend? both are messed up individuals,, they prolly belong together. honestly pathetic.

[drpepper1886]

So everyone who spends the night and sleeps with her makes her a sandwich the next day at lunch time for her? Is that the tell tale sign?

 

Sucks your friend is being playing both sides, but I'm not sure this indicates they are sleeping together. I think you need to keep NC and not worry about it or you'll continue to speculate every detail about her life from every sandwich she posts on facebook.

[calgary]

ah no it was another friend who told me that I shouldn't trust this friend. they showed me the picture of him. he's not a friend at all. the problem I find hard is that she'd only slept with one other person apart from me.. I guess it's like gigs mixed with heartlessness? I just don't know how either of them could do this! i'd feel so guilty doing that. I could never ever do that.

[Mack05]

I needed to know, I couldn't keep calling and texting him and hanging out with him whilst he was doing the dirty behind my back could I really ?

 

that would be worse than this situation! people are flat out horrible and selfish.. I did so much for her I can't understand how she has it in her to be with my friend. it just seems completely unfair and heartless and makes me look like a fool.

 

I completely hate both of them right now. I really wish I'd never spent any time with either of them. i'm so hurt. time hopefully does heal, but she just keeps twisting the knife in harder and harder . it's been a difficult break up. I don't know what she can do worse than this but she'll find a way.

 

Question one. Have you blocked them both yes/no? If's a no please do it NOW!!!!!!

 

Right now you have given them your power. You need to take it back Calgary..

 

So many people have been through what you have been through. It happened to me in College. I was CRAZY about this girl and a guy who I thought was a friend kissed her (when we were still together). I had a pretty sheltered life (in a great way) until then. When it happened, I was just so hurt. I couldn't get my head around it.

 

It's a shame people stoop to such levels. I don't understand the psyche behind this behaviour. I am so glad that I don't. You need to rise above it. Accept there are people who don't have the same standards and morals as we do. Accept sometimes people have a cruel nature, that we are not meant to understand.

 

You are so full of anger. That's ok for now, but eventually you have to work past it. A great saying is "harbouring resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die". At some stage you have to let this go. You need to forgive them and move on. This clip ->

I post many times on this site. It explains why forgiveness is so important.

 

By forgiving them (this won't happen over night) you are taking your power back from them. Calgary if you keep going to way you are going, you are going to get more and more bitter. That is not the worst part. If you continue on your current path, you will bring this 'baggage' into a new relationship and it may cost you someone very special..I speak from experience.

 

Mate, bar my family and friends I've lost everything. I've done so much damage to myself, its doubtful I will ever met the right girl. It's the reason I spend time on this site. I don't want people to end up like me. Don't get me wrong I'm happy and I'm lucky, but I would love to share my heart with someone special.

 

Don't choose the path I did, because honestly I see so much of me in you.

Edited March 15, 2013 by Mack05

[calgary]

I can't bare to go on either of their profiles to block them right now. I don't want to go on their profiles or see their faces. my friends told me it's best to not go out tonight because they'll more than likely be walking round holding hands throwing it in peoples faces.. truth is, people will have seen me hanging round with him every weekend solidly so they'll know and make their own minds up.. everyone will be giving me the pat on the back.. it's so embarrassing.

 

all my other friends are so angry too, everybody is feeling really sorry for me.. except my family who just seem to tell me to get over it.. I wish it was that easy.

 

I completey appreciate you helping me mack05. just struggling so much to understand how people can be so cruel and thoughtless.. maybe because I've lived a sheltered life too.. I let my guard down, I thought she was a good girl in comparison to most I've met.. never saw this coming.. I let all my defences down and now I've been hit really really hard in a way I never expected. I let my guard down with him and told him I wasn't coping etc.. he listened and kept me busy and then did this to me.. maybe one day i'll forgive them but definitely not right now.. I think i'm still numb..

 

i'll probably feel it when I wake up.

I feel damaged too. I feel like i'm going to really struggle in life to trust anybody.

 

I just can't believe people are this horrible.. I really really loved this girl.. more than my self as you can probably tell from my previous posts and that's where I messed up / messed myself up and that's something I need to promise myself i'll never do again.. care so much about somebody who can do something like this to me. I want every memory of the last 18 months to just go away. far far away.

[calgary]

So everyone who spends the night and sleeps with her makes her a sandwich the next day at lunch time for her? Is that the tell tale sign?

 

Sucks your friend is being playing both sides, but I'm not sure this indicates they are sleeping together. I think you need to keep NC and not worry about it or you'll continue to speculate every detail about her life from every sandwich she posts on facebook.

he was liking all her stuff.. it kept coming up on facebook.. I didn't want to delete him just coss he was liking her stuff.. then he uploaded a photo and she commented on it which suggested they'd been talking a lot.. then he put a stupid status about how he couldn't wait to see a girl.. then posted one saying he was going to her town last night.. he lives an hour away.. and then today she uploaded that and everyone let me know.. so my friend stayed the night at my ex's place after they'd started getting really friendly in the last 2 weeks.. barely spoke before that.. so yeah.. presuming the worst but wouldn't anybody ?

[Simon Phoenix]

I can't bare to go on either of their profiles to block them right now. I don't want to go on their profiles or see their faces. my friends told me it's best to not go out tonight because they'll more than likely be walking round holding hands throwing it in peoples faces.. truth is, people will have seen me hanging round with him every weekend solidly so they'll know and make their own minds up.. everyone will be giving me the pat on the back.. it's so embarrassing.

 

all my other friends are so angry too, everybody is feeling really sorry for me.. except my family who just seem to tell me to get over it.. I wish it was that easy.

 

I completey appreciate you helping me mack05. just struggling so much to understand how people can be so cruel and thoughtless.. maybe because I've lived a sheltered life too.. I let my guard down, I thought she was a good girl in comparison to most I've met.. never saw this coming.. I let all my defences down and now I've been hit really really hard in a way I never expected. I let my guard down with him and told him I wasn't coping etc.. he listened and kept me busy and then did this to me.. maybe one day i'll forgive them but definitely not right now.. I think i'm still numb..

 

i'll probably feel it when I wake up.

I feel damaged too. I feel like i'm going to really struggle in life to trust anybody.

 

I just can't believe people are this horrible.. I really really loved this girl.. more than my self as you can probably tell from my previous posts and that's where I messed up / messed myself up and that's something I need to promise myself i'll never do again.. care so much about somebody who can do something like this to me. I want every memory of the last 18 months to just go away. far far away.

 

Dude, you have to go and block them. Yes, it might hurt to click on their profiles, but it's going to hurt many more times and for longer if you keep their profiles unblocked. You need to man up and do this s--t.

 

This is a terrible situation and it sucks that you have to go through this. But on a positive note (yes, there is a positive note) perhaps this awful situation will get rid of any false hope you were giving yourself of getting back together with her. You can really start moving on now. And f--k your friend. At the very least he should have discussed this with you.

[calgary]

Dude, you have to go and block them. Yes, it might hurt to click on their profiles, but it's going to hurt many more times and for longer if you keep their profiles unblocked. You need to man up and do this s--t.

 

This is a terrible situation and it sucks that you have to go through this. But on a positive note (yes, there is a positive note) perhaps this awful situation will get rid of any false hope you were giving yourself of getting back together with her. You can really start moving on now. And f--k your friend. At the very least he should have discussed this with you.

so true, i'd never take her back now ever ever. even if she came over crying and begging and offering the world I would never. I've seen her true colours.

 

I blocked them ... and then somebody liked her photo on instagram and it still came up on my news feed. I hate her so much I just don't want to see her face ever again

[adelia]

I'm so sorry she's not a nice girl and I gaurantee their romance will be over no sooner than it began. Look at the bright side they've made it so you can never hook up with her again. Now it's official you can move on. Face the pain don't fear it and let your life begin again and this time with someone who you know will treat you better. Hugz

[thefooloftheyear]

Thats terrible, man..

 

Sounds eerily like a situation a close friend of mine wound up in. He works like crazy to support his family. Great guy. 3 kids. Found out his buddy was banging his wife for the last year. I know from what he told me how you must feel. I truly sympathize and hope you can get some closure.

 

While this is little consolation, I think id rather be mad as **** then just plain heartbroken. Then all hope is removed and you can let the anger of it to help you get over it.

 

I am really not a religious person, but sometimes I swear that FB is the work of the Devil. I have heard of marriages ruined, relationships destroyed, etc, All bc of contacts ppl make on FB.

 

Stay strong, dude..

 

TFOY

[adelia]

This is why I deleted my fb a few yrs ago

 

Thats terrible, man..

 

Sounds eerily like a situation a close friend of mine wound up in. He works like crazy to support his family. Great guy. 3 kids. Found out his buddy was banging his wife for the last year. I know from what he told me how you must feel. I truly sympathize and hope you can get some closure.

 

While this is little consolation, I think id rather be mad as **** then just plain heartbroken. Then all hope is removed and you can let the anger of it to help you get over it.

 

I am really not a religious person, but sometimes I swear that FB is the work of the Devil. I have heard of marriages ruined, relationships destroyed, etc, All bc of contacts ppl make on FB.

 

Stay strong, dude..

 

TFOY

[ThatJustHappened]

This is why I deleted my fb a few yrs ago

 

ME TOO! Best decision I've made in a long time.

[iouaname]

I can't bare to go on either of their profiles to block them right now. I don't want to go on their profiles or see their faces. my friends told me it's best to not go out tonight because they'll more than likely be walking round holding hands throwing it in peoples faces.. truth is, people will have seen me hanging round with him every weekend solidly so they'll know and make their own minds up.. everyone will be giving me the pat on the back.. it's so embarrassing.

BLOCK.THEM. You're already miserable! You're just making excuses as to why you can't go to their profiles now. It's better that you just block them now while you're already upset then wait and have to do it again and then be upset again. You have no excuse for why to not block them. Just effing do it!!

[SharkTooth]

He's not a friend. Sorry, but he never was and never will be. I mean, I can understand you not seeing this clearly but here's the summary from what I see. A guy/man who pursues a "friends" ex is the piece of sh#t on the bottom of your shoe. And now the ex actually likes this type of person who has done this to a "friend"? Really? She has gotten what she deserved and now everything is out in the open.

 

You've been around LS a while so you already really know what you have to do. But if you really need to know what's about to happen to these two, just sit back and watch their world fall apart. It's going to happen. No decent person alive will be happy for both of them.

 

So sorry your going thru this. I feel for you bro

[thefooloftheyear]

BLOCK.THEM. You're already miserable! You're just making excuses as to why you can't go to their profiles now. It's better that you just block them now while you're already upset then wait and have to do it again and then be upset again. You have no excuse for why to not block them. Just effing do it!!

 

 

Id say go one step further and just dump your account. I think even if you block them you will be tempted. Maybe reopen at a later date, but right now you need to remove all memory of this person.

 

TFOY

[Harradin]

I know how you feel, my ex went from "I'm so grateful that you've been there for me and there for me now during my parent's divorce" to "me and your friend arranged to see each other when you were away at the weekend, nothing happened between me and your friend, but I'm leaving you for him." The space between those two conversations was 2 days, what makes it worse is this "friend" I saw and organised things with regularly, he was jealous that I was going out with her, he manipulated her into leaving me for him and made her believe that she did nothing wrong, he even wrote the breakup email as she couldn't even dump me in person.

 

I promptly told my "friend" to never contact me again and what a cowardly scum he was, deleted and blocked on Facebook and I've not spoken/seen him since. Sometimes I wish I had kicked the sh*t out of him, but I valued my life too much to not have a criminal record. That was September of last year, pretty sure they're still together as I would have heard something if they had broken up, the last I heard is that they constantly argued.

 

It tore me apart, how could my ex fall for something like that? How could he betray me with no remorse? How could my ex do that to me? I ended up deactivating Facebook as I had too many mutual friends with them so even with both of them blocked I could still see pictures of them. It hurts to think she chose the guy who controlled her like a puppet over me, who treated her like a princess and would have treated her right 100% of the time.

 

My advice would be to discard both of them, block them, deactivate Facebook if you need and make sure there's no way they can contact you, the sooner you get rid of people like that the better as everyone deserves better.