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1 Month NC- Somebody explain to me how this is possible!!!!!


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singme2sleep

Okay it's been 4 weeks of No-Contact, he broke up with me. And for me the first 2 weeks were the hardest. I cried basically all day, couldn't eat or sleep, and everything reminded me of him. So many times I would stare at my phone and will him to call/text, but nothing.

 

Lately I've been doing better, I still cry but not every day. Of course I also still miss him like crazy and wonder what he's doing. We were very serious about each other, planned our future etc. So just can't understand HOW he doesn't miss me!

 

(He didn't end the relationship for lack of feelings, just outside circumstances got in the way.)

 

I was such a wreck on Valentine's Day...hoped against hope that he would reach out to me, and again...nothing! I thought that our breakup was just temporary and that he would have tried to talk to me by now, because it just doesn't make any sense. This was a guy who wanted to buy me a ring, who called me his Mrs and suggested names for the children we wanted to eventually have.

 

Somebody please explain to me how a person can profess their eternal love to you one day, then just walk away the next, seemingly without looking back?

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(He didn't end the relationship for lack of feelings, just outside circumstances got in the way.)

 

Explain to me, why the above, contradicts this so strongly.....?

 

 

Somebody please explain to me how a person can profess their eternal love to you one day, then just walk away the next, seemingly without looking back?

 

Whatever excuse he used I doubt it was honestly 'circumstances' that made him 'just walk away'.....

 

I think he used excuses and pulled the wool over your eyes...

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destroyed4sho

 

Somebody please explain to me how a person can profess their eternal love to you one day, then just walk away the next, seemingly without looking back?

 

Yeah this happens a lot, pretty typical behavior. Dumpers say the love you so much and then next day they are done. They have checked out a while ago and are indecisive about the relationship at the moment. They love you but not enough to be with you. After they leave they get a taste of their new life and they actual feel better and don't "look back".

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The reason they do it, is one last-chance final hope that they can convince themselves they feel like this.

It's professed not so much for your benefit - but for theirs.

 

I confess - when I was dating my first husband - I did this with him.

 

weeks later, it was all over. I ended it.

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singme2sleep

Idk, maybe I'm naive because I really thought he was The One. I felt it in my bones...

 

We met during the hurricane for goodness-sake! How is that NOT fate??

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How can it be?

Why should it be?

 

Don't look to circumstances to keep you together.

YOU should keep you together.

It wouldn't matter whether he had met you in a sand-storm, a tornado, a heatwave or a torrential downpour.

it doesn't make it 'fate'.

 

it makes it that you met during a hurricane.

 

....And....?

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singme2sleep

Well I believe that everything happens for a reason, or I used to.

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drpepper1886
Well I believe that everything happens for a reason, or I used to.

 

you don't have to change that view. You can find someone who will put in the work to stay around.

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Well I believe that everything happens for a reason, or I used to.

 

Ding ding ding....he broke up for a reason.

 

It's hard to accept, I know, but the sooner you do.....the sooner you will heal.

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singme2sleep

I guess I'm just not over it yet. Honestly this is the first time I've ever really been in love.

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I guess I'm just not over it yet. Honestly this is the first time I've ever really been in love.

 

Just keep pushing through. I am about day 40 of nc. I lost count. I actually think that is a positive I forgot exactly because that means I have missed count a day or two. I really miss my ex but I don't know what happened or why it happened. I deserved better and deserved to be the first option. I treated her so well. Don't dwell. Try to stop counting. Get lost in yourself if you can. Not them. They are obviously not lost in our issues

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SoConfusedAndInShock

you sound just like myself when i first joined LS over the summer.... but guess what i listened to everyone for my own sanity. Its been 8 months of full on NC for me & i never regret it! only thing it did was better me. yes, i have had days where i just break down and crumble but knowing that I've come this far is such an amazing feeling. Everyone here was right. It sucks i know, but 4 weeks is nothing. There are people like myself, who go on NC weeks, months and some on LS say years. so stay strong. you have great support system here on LS trust me!

 

You'll be proud of yourself if you're anything like me. I know easy to say had to do. i kept asking the same thing you're asking the first few weeks. You'll appreciate this later. You wont feel pain, anger, dissapointment, or the need to put the puzzle peaces all the time & in time life will take its own course. You'll start to forgive and forget weather you like it or not, at least in my cast that's what happened. Come here a vent as much as you can but never give in and soon how many days on NC wont matter. Take a good care of yourself for your own good, men come and go there's heartbreak in ever corner you just have to know when to pick up the peaces and build yourself up for scratch! :)

 

Anyways Good Luck!

Edited by SoConfusedAndInShock
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singme2sleep

I haven't been on this site very long, but I do find it helpful and I value all the opinions/advice I receive. I'm the kind of person who doesn't get past things easily. When my grandfather died in 2011, we were very close and it took me about a year to be okay with his absence. Losing the one you love in a breakup is like when somebody dies. You go through a grieving process, and I am clearly still in the early stages of mine.

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destroyed4sho
I haven't been on this site very long, but I do find it helpful and I value all the opinions/advice I receive. I'm the kind of person who doesn't get past things easily. When my grandfather died in 2011, we were very close and it took me about a year to be okay with his absence. Losing the one you love in a breakup is like when somebody dies. You go through a grieving process, and I am clearly still in the early stages of mine.

 

Yes you are in the early stages and i can tell from previous posts your hope is strong. Just see it as a storm that will pass for now...just hold on or better yet, let go....and the storm will take you where your suppose to be. Your too afraid to let go? Just stick with NC and NC will automatically let go for you.

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