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Unsure, sad and vulnerable....any thoughts?


xDazedandConfusedx

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xDazedandConfusedx

So my ex and I ended about a month ago. He was unsure about us and I kinda finalized the decision for him (he was going to do it in any way). We stuck to minimum contact for three weeks, the only contact was a little bit emotional, with him getting upset over things I said.

 

Finally, I caved on Sunday and we ended up Skyping for a good two hours (we live far apart). Since then we have messaged every day, telling each other how good it was to be talking again, how we have missed each other etc etc. We would chat the way it used to be, even with little "x's" at the end.

 

I definitely want him back in my life, but I don't know what he wants. We definitely cannot have a fwb situation, we live too far apart and I'm glad for that as I know how that ruins a person. I know doing this is not healthy if we're not working towards something. I don't know if I should ask what his intentions are and take it from there?

 

Any advise or experience would be greatly appreciated.

Edited by xDazedandConfusedx
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well, if you and him are talking regularly and its emotional than feelings are obviously there... And if you want him back in your life as a boyfriend, i see no problem, asking him once, but, be 100% clear about what you want and what his intentions are..

No point in ever being stubborn wanting the other to ask first etc.

BUT, you must be prepared for a negative response also.

Just lay your cards down on the table and ask to see his.

 

Good luck :love:

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I'm the him part of that equation. The ex girlfriend left for no reason. I've put it out there in the past that I want her but it was rebuffed with silence. So I've been no contact for about 2 weeks. I did play all my cards. Got nothing in return.

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Unless you are willing to play cat and mouse games and drag yourself wondering what all this contact really means indefinitely, I would suggest you speak up and communicate.

 

Contact doesn't mean that someone is wanting to get back. It can mean that they still have an attachment and miss it, but not necessarily one that requires them wanting to reconcile.

 

If you communicate and he says he's still adamant about ending, then NC and move on. If he says he's wanting to rekindle, then you go from there.

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xDazedandConfusedx
I'm the him part of that equation. The ex girlfriend left for no reason. I've put it out there in the past that I want her but it was rebuffed with silence. So I've been no contact for about 2 weeks. I did play all my cards. Got nothing in return.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. Just to clear up though, I am not the one who left suddenly. He kept on telling me that he was unsure and didn't know if we would still be together in the long run. He went from very serious (lets move in, get married down the line) to very distant in a few weeks. It killed me knowing that all the promises he made wasn't real.

 

He told me he still liked me and did not want to loose me, but could not be the same way he was. I was the one who then said it wasn't good enough for me. For me its either YES or NO.

 

But now he is sending mixed signals with what he said and done. But I think you all are right - i will give it a few days and the ask him straight out!

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