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rough night of rough month in this rough year


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I was with some random girl last night, and all time I was with her I was thinking about my ex. Sex was horrible, and she was like all cuddly and stuff. It made me sick to my stomach. For some reason I felt dirty, and wanted to get away. But she was over my place in middle of the night, so I had to shut up and take it. Drinking at that point didn't help, case more drunk I got more I wanted to get away from there and find my long lost love. Am on the verge of braking and calling my ex and begging her to take me back.

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Jovan-

 

From the pics you posted you look like a little hottie. And although you have expressed sincere angst at being apart from your girl, you have also seemingly jumped quickly and have been very actively involved in rebound activities and hooking up.

 

My question to you is why exactly, did your ex leave? I am hoping you did nothing disrespectful to drive her away. My total sincere apologies if I am getting the wrong impression here.

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she left me without ever giving me a reason why. She just said said doesn't want to be in relationship anymore... We lived 2gehter for 5 years and everything seemed alright...Till the day she dumped me

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That is horrible, and I am sorry, but as you know, if that is how she feels, nothing will change her mind and you must remain NC to spare yourself.

 

I encourage you to have fun and get out, but if your hooking up is only going to lead to more pain for you, give it a rest until you heal a bit more.

 

Not only are you hurting yourself, but you may be hurting others in the process. I'm sure the girl from last night was trying to cuddle with you because she liked you. I'm sure when she doesn't hear from you again, she will be hurting too. hurt=hurt=hurt

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That is horrible, and I am sorry, but as you know, if that is how she feels, nothing will change her mind and you must remain NC to spare yourself.

 

I encourage you to have fun and get out, but if your hooking up is only going to lead to more pain for you, give it a rest until you heal a bit more.

 

Not only are you hurting yourself, but you may be hurting others in the process. I'm sure the girl from last night was trying to cuddle with you because she liked you. I'm sure when she doesn't hear from you again, she will be hurting too. hurt=hurt=hurt

 

 

Ty for the advice. And yeah hooking up is bad idea, but filling my empty hole that i call soul with random bunch of stranger is still better then loneliness, desperation and anxiety attacks? or am I wrong? yeah if feel horrible after bad vine and meaningless sex, but at least am not crying all time thinking about way's to kill my self....

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I have been there. I cracked, and rang a couple of weeks later. It did help me, but only because I wanted some answers/closure and was prepared for either not getting a response or getting a bad one - so long as I got SOMETHING.

 

BUT.... this is not for everyone and like I say, if you do, you must, MUST be prepared for more bad news which can lead to more hurt.

 

I would not under any circumstances come across as 'begging for another chance'. To us, it looks sincere - like we are showing that person we really care, that we are good people and deserving of a second shot.

 

The problem is, what what we see and what they see is very, very different. You have to remember - she ended it. She doesn't want what ever you had anymore just like my ex didn't. So, contacting them could make you look desperate (and infinatley less attractive) and as though you are at her beckon call. The only way (and dependent upon why she ended it and the stregth of her conviciton) is to go cold Turkey and in time she MAY think of you, and what you had and quation her decision. But that thought might never come and if it does, it could be way way down the line and so even then, she might not act on it - assuming you have moved on.

 

In my case, she said 2 things - that she doesn't want to be with anyone (she has issues, abandonment by father and a string of truly horrible cheating/abusing guys before me) and also, that the attraction just went. She woke up one morning and realised she didn't want to be with me. No what is the chicken and what is the egg remains unknown.

 

But my point is, I knew that at least for know there is no hope and probably wo't be - so I was prepared to make that contact just to get closure/healing for myself. If I didn't get any, I was prepared for that too because how I saw it - if she was prepared to give me that, after I had been so very good to her then she wasn't worth pursuing.

 

If anyoneone wan't to respond to my forum topic, it would be much appreciated - welcome your thoughts.

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Just remember Jovan, that we can not expect others to fill the holes that may lie within ourselves. I have a hard time with this one too. Somehow, we need to fill those voids ourselves. In doing this, we can bring forth our "full" selves in making a happy relationship as opposed to looking for completion from others. Wow..deep.

 

Also, you don't want to hurt others...just because you feel hurt.

 

Hang in there.

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I have been there. I cracked, and rang a couple of weeks later. It did help me, but only because I wanted some answers/closure and was prepared for either not getting a response or getting a bad one - so long as I got SOMETHING.

 

BUT.... this is not for everyone and like I say, if you do, you must, MUST be prepared for more bad news which can lead to more hurt.

 

I would not under any circumstances come across as 'begging for another chance'. To us, it looks sincere - like we are showing that person we really care, that we are good people and deserving of a second shot.

 

The problem is, what what we see and what they see is very, very different. You have to remember - she ended it. She doesn't want what ever you had anymore just like my ex didn't. So, contacting them could make you look desperate (and infinatley less attractive) and as though you are at her beckon call. The only way (and dependent upon why she ended it and the stregth of her conviciton) is to go cold Turkey and in time she MAY think of you, and what you had and quation her decision. But that thought might never come and if it does, it could be way way down the line and so even then, she might not act on it - assuming you have moved on.

 

In my case, she said 2 things - that she doesn't want to be with anyone (she has issues, abandonment by father and a string of truly horrible cheating/abusing guys before me) and also, that the attraction just went. She woke up one morning and realised she didn't want to be with me. No what is the chicken and what is the egg remains unknown.

 

But my point is, I knew that at least for know there is no hope and probably wo't be - so I was prepared to make that contact just to get closure/healing for myself. If I didn't get any, I was prepared for that too because how I saw it - if she was prepared to give me that, after I had been so very good to her then she wasn't worth pursuing.

 

If anyoneone wan't to respond to my forum topic, it would be much appreciated - welcome your thoughts.

 

 

well ty guys... Am just righting in here to keep my self busy. Better that then calling her...

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You're lucky dude. I wish I could bring a girl home and cuddle with her as easy as you make it seem. I feel like intimacy with a girl who isn't my ex is what I need. Just to show me that there are other girls out there. You obviously aren't over your ex or close to being over her, so I don't know how much these little hookups help you.

 

You call her and what happens if she doesn't want you back? She hasn't really given you any reason to believe she does right? You're begging makes you look needy, not attractive. She wants to date a man, not a whiny little boy.

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Well actually I never begged her. Its 2 months since the BU, and last time I called her was about 40 days ago... I aksed her if there is any hope for us left, and is there a way we can work things out. She said no, even thou she said that she wanted me, when she so me, she wanted to kiss me hug me and stuff like that, she would be even okay with us having sex without a relationship, but I don't care for that. I love her too much and it would kill me... So I won't call her, but its not case I don't want to, its case I know am better off without her...

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Song woke me up this morning. It was a song I was listening 4 years ago when she went on summer vacation without me. It reminded me how she used to love me back then, how we couldn't live without each other. She meant the whole world to me, and now she's gone...

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