jagdude14 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 My story is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372828-gf-broke-up-me-i-am-loss However I come here and give advice and I am on day 36 of nc. I am not going to contact her because frankly I know it is an awful move however I do wish I at least got a breadcrumb because while I don't think I'd respond to it it would show she thinks about me. I treated my ex so great while we dated. I was broken up with through text. I miss this girl with my entire heart. I am hurting although I know I am out of moves and can't get her back without her trying to come back. To think I have not heard a peep from this girl at all really hurts me. To go from her telling me i treat her the best and make her smile and knowing I did nothing wrong I am hurting and really wish something would come. With that said I am not camped by my phone I am getting out volunteering running and other activities I just have no idea why she broke up. Thank you for your time and absolute best wishes to you on your heart aches as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Apolodor Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Accept the defeat and move on. Women can be really cruel, don't expect any breadcrumbs, she won't give you any. Being "dismissed" and ignored is painful, but you need to respect her choice. Nothing good will come out of it if you get on your knees and beg her to reconsider. Several years ago I was dating a girl with whom I was madly in love -- at the time we were like true soulmates (according to her). Everything was going perfectly, then one day after we had a wonderful day out she told me that she needed some time alone. I tried calling her after that, tried email, text, but to no avail. She just slipped out of my life exactly as she appeared. I waited for months to get a phone call from her, to hear some explanation, etc. Guess what? It never happened..... I guess you need to accept that if a woman can break it up with you just like that it means she never really cared about you. There is no point in dwelling on the past, what's done is done. Look on the bright side though, you got rid of a false friend/lover and you are now in control of your own life.Things can only get better! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Exitleft Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I got a breadcrumb a few minutes ago after roughly 5 days of NC and because she's blocked from contacting me it came through her sister, It did not make me feel better. It hurt! She requested we speak one last time because she wants to apologize. I declined. She wants to rope me in so she can feel better about herself and then leave me holding the pieces again. Be glad there are no crumbs when they leave it's because they do not care. Let her go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I got a breadcrumb a few minutes ago after roughly 5 days of NC and because she's blocked from contacting me it came through her sister, It did not make me feel better. It hurt! She requested we speak one last time because she wants to apologize. I declined. She wants to rope me in so she can feel better about herself and then leave me holding the pieces again. Be glad there are no crumbs when they leave it's because they do not care. Let her go. Did you post about it? This is interesting. She's prob trying to friendzone you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 My story is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372828-gf-broke-up-me-i-am-loss However I come here and give advice and I am on day 36 of nc. I am not going to contact her because frankly I know it is an awful move however I do wish I at least got a breadcrumb because while I don't think I'd respond to it it would show she thinks about me. I treated my ex so great while we dated. I was broken up with through text. I miss this girl with my entire heart. I am hurting although I know I am out of moves and can't get her back without her trying to come back. To think I have not heard a peep from this girl at all really hurts me. To go from her telling me i treat her the best and make her smile and knowing I did nothing wrong I am hurting and really wish something would come. With that said I am not camped by my phone I am getting out volunteering running and other activities I just have no idea why she broke up. Thank you for your time and absolute best wishes to you on your heart aches as well! You don't want breadcrumbs my friend , trust me on that. You willl be having withdrawls about whether to reply or not and if you dont you will keep asking yourself if you did the right thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 I am upset. I do not believe I'd respond to any small attempt by her however I am battling what went wrong in my mind as nothing did go wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Exitleft Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Did you post about it? This is interesting. She's prob trying to friendzone you I only made mention of it, it's too exhausting to relay the details so maybe when I gain some perspective I will. Right now it's too fresh and I don't want to give it more attention than it deserves either. Ha tried friends, she can make other friends. I told her sister thanks but no thanks, unfortunately now I might have to limit my contact with her too for this reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Exitleft Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I am upset. I do not believe I'd respond to any small attempt by her however I am battling what went wrong in my mind as nothing did go wrong. You're setting yourself up to be hurt here. It is very hard to make sense of why others do what they do but you have to keep in mind for whatever reason she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Do not hold out for breadcrumbs and scraps of remorse. Allow yourself to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 You're setting yourself up to be hurt here. It is very hard to make sense of why others do what they do but you have to keep in mind for whatever reason she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Do not hold out for breadcrumbs and scraps of remorse. Allow yourself to heal. And I have been I am not contacting her and have not for over a month. I am trying to move on. I only bring up the bread crumbs because it seemed like today was national bread crumb day on here and I sit and wonder " hey wtf have I not gotten one". I treated her so respectfully and I never thought I wouldn't see her again 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I know exactly what you mean. I would look at others' stories and think, damn, why isn't MY ex doing this? You know what, it doesn't mean for one second that she isn't thinking about you. Just means she hasn't told you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Exitleft Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 And I have been I am not contacting her and have not for over a month. I am trying to move on. I only bring up the bread crumbs because it seemed like today was national bread crumb day on here and I sit and wonder " hey wtf have I not gotten one". I treated her so respectfully and I never thought I wouldn't see her again National breadcrumb day trust me the breadcrumbs are.. well.. crumby a lot of the time. Look if you were that good to her maybe all she needs is time. Trust me a lot of people do not realize what they have lost until they have something to compare it to. If it's meant she will come back. But keep going as you have been for yourself. You are important, no one else will recognize that unless you do first. It's always when you least expect it something big changes in your life. Now I am not trying to say she is going to come back for sure, but maybe someone better will. Who knows. You're just going through the motions. 1 month is a great effort, I am not even at a week. I look forward to the 1 month mark. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 National breadcrumb day trust me the breadcrumbs are.. well.. crumby a lot of the time. Look if you were that good to her maybe all she needs is time. Trust me a lot of people do not realize what they have lost until they have something to compare it to. If it's meant she will come back. But keep going as you have been for yourself. You are important, no one else will recognize that unless you do first. It's always when you least expect it something big changes in your life. Now I am not trying to say she is going to come back for sure, but maybe someone better will. Who knows. You're just going through the motions. 1 month is a great effort, I am not even at a week. I look forward to the 1 month mark. Well let me tell you 1 wk turns to 1 month fast and if she has not come back then you look at yourself and question yourself. Or at least I am. Because I don't know where the time went and it ticks and the more it ticks the more she either won't come back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 I know exactly what you mean. I would look at others' stories and think, damn, why isn't MY ex doing this? You know what, it doesn't mean for one second that she isn't thinking about you. Just means she hasn't told you. I don't think that is the case. However no one knows but her. Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 She's not a robot. HOWEVER. The key thing is, she doesn't miss you enough or in the right way or the way you want to be missed. This is what I have to keep telling myself. And sure enough when he did toss me a breadcrumb, it was to say how much he wants to be friends. Exactly what I don't want! All you can do is take it one step at a time. And eventually you will care a little less for a little longer. And this will lead to YOU not thinking about or missing HER. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Trust me. You don't want her to tell you she misses you. My ex told me she missed me. I didn't respond. I went insane. I was wondering why she told me she missed me. She didn't mention anything about our relationship. She just missed me. Did it make me feel good that she was still thinking about me? No it made me feel worse that she thought of me and didn't want to be with me. You don't want breadcrumbs. Unless you want to set yourself back. Plus she doesn't have to tell you she misses you for her to miss you. You were an important part of her life. She might miss you. but when someone says "I miss you" it means about as much as when someone bumps into you and says "sorry" and keeps walking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Na- hahaha ..so true about the bump on the street....that is why whenever i hear the "i miss u breadcrumb...i say it is a LIE. Jagdude- Before vday- i was on here whining about why i got no breadcrumbs and that i would want to yada yada..same as u... The i got one in vday "happy vday, destroyed4sho :-)" That is what she sent. I felt shocked first, numb, the i felt good for not responding, the next 2 days were a rage of emotions such as anger...how could u dump.someone and the send them happy vday, empty...why was it the only thig she wrote? .....sadness, feelings of rejection again..etc. Not fun. You will get a breadcrumb...guarranteed. Brace yourself. Hope that monster never sends me anything again. She is not worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Did u ever confront her about why she dumped you? After i read your post, sounds like behavior you would get from someone who is immature and trying to leave their bf for someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinthebox Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I don't think that is the case. However no one knows but her. I similarly did the same thing your ex did to you. Everything probably seemed fine, but in her mind there were enough things that were wrong. She probably did it through text to make sure that she could go through with it. I know if I saw my ex's face I wouldn't be able to do it, but I did talk to him right after the text though.... IDK if that makes it better.... But based on my own experience there probably hasn't been a day where she doesn't think about you. It's difficult to forget someone you spent intimate time with. We all put up a front. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 Did u ever confront her about why she dumped you? After i read your post, sounds like behavior you would get from someone who is immature and trying to leave their bf for someone else. No I didn't really confront her because after I know it does no good. Believe me I would not date her ever again unless that was addressed though. I just figured if I confronted her about it then it pushes her away. I figured I'd let her mind get ahold of how she treated me rather than me. I know I treated her great Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 I similarly did the same thing your ex did to you. Everything probably seemed fine, but in her mind there were enough things that were wrong. She probably did it through text to make sure that she could go through with it. I know if I saw my ex's face I wouldn't be able to do it, but I did talk to him right after the text though.... IDK if that makes it better.... But based on my own experience there probably hasn't been a day where she doesn't think about you. It's difficult to forget someone you spent intimate time with. We all put up a front. There is not a day I don't think about her. From the story link in my original post you can read I treated her great Link to post Share on other sites
treezy Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 It's 3 weeks post breakup and there's no crumb. He even told me there was never any bread to begin with. Funny, weren't we baking for one year? Turns out he turned off the oven long ago and didn't have the balls to admit it. I don't think there will be any crumbs coming my way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 It's 3 weeks post breakup and there's no crumb. He even told me there was never any bread to begin with. Funny, weren't we baking for one year? Turns out he turned off the oven long ago and didn't have the balls to admit it. I don't think there will be any crumbs coming my way. You and I both. I have no idea what happened. Not getting a real reason for the break up causes me to look at everything I may have done wrong and blame myself Link to post Share on other sites
treezy Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Please stop blaming yourself, jagdude. I'm sure it's not your fault. Accept it as a case of incompatibility, and let that be the closure you need. I know it's hard, I'm trying to do that too. I know I need to move on from him, I'm sure you can do it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderchild Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) I suspect I won't be getting any/many breadcrumbs from my ex. During the breakup (I'm beginning to revise my initial observations) I suspect I may have done more good than I first believed. Despite being in a state of shock, I didn't grovel or plead - not my style (I'm too d*mn stiff necked). Unfortunately, I did say that "I thought that we really had a chance to make a go of things" and (cringe) that "I was in a position where I couldn't see myself with anyone else" - which was true. She then tried to justify herself with the classic "It just happened" and "I was drunk" to which I replied along the lines of "If "it just happened", did your panties fall off as if by magic?" which kinda took her aback and I challenged her to take some responsibility for her actions. She then made an excuse and headed for the door muttering "I'm sorry", which annoyed me and I replied "No, you're not," and added a "now get out!" in an assertive/angry manner. She knows that I am very savvy at spotting insincerity and emotionally manipulative behaviour - that it annoys me, and, that I stamp on it hard. Except, now that I've learned from you guys (and gals) about No Contact I'll just be ignoring her if anything other than the "unconditional surrender" appears. The "I thought we had a chance" and "Couldn't imagine myself with anyone but you" might not be so damaging as it was combined with the "No, I'm not taking any of your sh*te, start taking some responsibility and get the f*ck outta here!". She now knows what she has thrown away and that any of her breadcrumbs aren't gonna work on me. What do you reckon?? Edited February 24, 2013 by Thunderchild Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 I suspect I won't be getting any/many breadcrumbs from my ex. During the breakup (I'm beginning to revise my initial observations) I suspect I may have done more good than I first believed. Despite being in a state of shock, I didn't grovel or plead - not my style (I'm too d*mn stiff necked). Unfortunately, I did say that "I thought that we really had a chance to make a go of things" and (cringe) that "I was in a position where I couldn't see myself with anyone else" - which was true. She then tried to justify herself with the classic "It just happened" and "I was drunk" to which I replied along the lines of "If "it just happened", did your panties fall off as if by magic?" which kinda took her aback and I challenged her to take some responsibility for her actions. She then made an excuse and headed for the door muttering "I'm sorry", which annoyed me and I replied "No, you're not," and added a "now get out!" in an assertive/angry manner. She knows that I am very savvy at spotting insincerity and emotionally manipulative behaviour - that it annoys me, and, that I stamp on it hard. Except, now that I've learned from you guys (and gals) about No Contact I'll just be ignoring her if anything other than the "unconditional surrender" appears. The "I thought we had a chance" and "Couldn't imagine myself with anyone but you" might not be so damaging as it was combined with the "No, I'm not taking any of your sh*te, start taking some responsibility and get the f*ck outta here!". She now knows what she has thrown away and that any of her breadcrumbs aren't gonna work on me. What do you reckon?? Was this a one night thing? Not assuming just asking because was she drunk just that one night? Either way you took a stance which a man needs to do. And at least she told you in person. I didn't get that Link to post Share on other sites
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