I really can't accept that it's over.

[serenity14]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm completely new here and honestly I never previously thought about talking this stuff through with people I've never met but I seriously need some help. My girlfriend of four months and I broke up last weekend. She has clinical depression so there were always challenges but honestly she was well worth it to me. I loved being with her and taking her out.

I never thought I would be so devastated. We live in two different cities and I know she hated only seeing me every two weeks but we were making it work. In fact things were only getting better. We had just had a great weekend and she cried when I left.That week she was sweeter to me over text than she had ever been before. She said we were getting closer and closer and she kept talking about how attached she was to me and how we were seemingly getting more and more serious.

Then out of the blue she calls me and tells me that she was lonely and friday night and went over to a friends house... he kissed her and she kissed him back. I was furious and broke up with her. I felt so betrayed. The next day I panicked and changed my mind and tried to get her back. It didn't work. She said the distance was too much, she wants to be free to go out and flirt and get numbers. I even offered to to telecommute to work every other week so I could be there more often. No Dice.

I dont understand. She is giving up on a good thing... We both care so much for each other and I want to make it work... I don't even care about the other guy. Now I feel devastated... I just keep thinking about all the good times we had and the things she said to me. It can't just be over. I want to tell her that she just got scared... that she started to like me too much and freaked out... we can work through that... we can make it work!

I just don't know what to do. I want to call her one more time and tell her this is crazy... I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had and I can help her through her depression. Don't just give up because its hard! You don't get many chances to be happy in life and you have to grab every one of them!

[H3Drvr]

Sorry bud, but this is now out of your hands. There's nothing more that you can tell her to have her change her mind; she has to make the decision herself. Then more you try to pull her in the harder she'll push you away. You can try to convince her of how great a guy you are but if she's made up her mind its basically done.

 

You probably won't listen to any voice of reason at this time but the best thing you can do for yourself and her, is to let her go.

 

Best advice I can give you (and I wish someone gave me the same advice before) is to leave her alone and go into no contact mode. This will do either one of two things, she'll realize what she's lost or you'll eventually move on (she as well). Also, it will allow also allow you to retain what is left of your dignity.

 

Crying, begging and pleading will make you look weak in her eyes. No woman wants a weak man! Good luck and read everything and understand everything here on this forum as it will help you cope with the death of the relationship.