daylight Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 This question is more for the women but I had an ex that whenever we would fight she would immediately block me from Facebook, delete all of our pictures and facebook related communications, etc. We'd eventually get back together within a few days or weeks and the cycle would repeat itself. I got out of that relationship as it was incredibly unhealthy but it was strange... I was just wondering if this was unique to this girl or is this something that happens with other people too? Whats the psychology behind it? I can understand the anger of course but is it her deliberately trying to hurt me by doing that? Or is she so mad she doesn't want to see my face anymore? Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Psychology behind is to leave the impression that "I deleted you because I have nothing to do with you. I don't want you in my life and I don't want to see your face again" or delete you to move on quicker because the less you are visible the less they will think of you. ...but that usually only lasts for a few weeks then the breadcrumbs start 3 Link to post Share on other sites
creighton0123 Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Perhaps it's the modern day equivalent of throwing a picture frame against a wall. Either way, it is now irrelevant, right? You're no longer in that relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I'm a woman, and I eventually blocked my last ex. While I was recovering from the breakup, every reminder of the relationship would make me depressed, angry, or confused. I think this is what a lot of people experience after a recent breakup, which is why NC is often re commended for recovery. And just fyi, my ex blocked me on fb first. So it's not just women that do this. I blocked him months after that because I found out he'd been cheating on me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author daylight Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 Yeah I didn't mean to generalize by saying that only women do it, it's just I never really encountered it before with anyone else. I just got the feeling that she was doing it deliberately to spite me, like a temper tantrum of sorts. It felt like the online equivalent of storming out and slamming the door to prove that she was angry. Which lost it's effectiveness after the first time she did it because we fought so frequently that I just laughed because I knew what was coming. It was just interesting to me examining the reasoning behind it and how technology has changed so much of how we communicate in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Yeah I didn't mean to generalize by saying that only women do it, it's just I never really encountered it before with anyone else. I just got the feeling that she was doing it deliberately to spite me, like a temper tantrum of sorts. It felt like the online equivalent of storming out and slamming the door to prove that she was angry. Which lost it's effectiveness after the first time she did it because we fought so frequently that I just laughed because I knew what was coming. It was just interesting to me examining the reasoning behind it and how technology has changed so much of how we communicate in relationships. That may very well have been why she did it, as some people do it for that reason also. Motive can vary depending on the individual. Link to post Share on other sites
pineapples Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I don't know why many people give such importance to FB, and I was quite shocked when my ex deleted me and also blocked me when we broke up. I think your ex is a bit immature and perhaps addicted to FB. Being a very active FB user is already a red flag to me. Not so log ago I deleted my account, and I am very happy without it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BLo7687 Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Today I cursed out my ex one last time through text. He writes something on twitter about it and then deletes/blocks me on every social media (fb, twitter, instagram). Oh wells lol. Link to post Share on other sites
MyAngel Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I was deleted on all the social media we were connected with immediately. I understand the reasoning behind this, but when you're on the receiving end and not wanting to break up, it feels harsh. Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I usually do that during a breakup, because I'm trying to heal. I've tried to stay away, but usually it fails because he wants to stay friends supposedly. But then finds an excuse to contact me and starts meeting my emotional needs by confiding about his problems and asking me about mine, volunteering to help with stuff. Pretty soon, I find I am thinking of him fondly again. (He doesn't actually meet those needs while we're in the relationship as much.) Also he tends to leave stuff on social networking sites that smacks of "hinting" or subtle messages to me. Few other people ever seem to read or respond to his stuff -- so it makes it seem directed at me. So when I am trying to go no contact, I do block him so I can heal. In the past there's always been some reason for him to email me or whatever again -- so this time I chose someone else as a go-between. Their instructions are to not pass anything along that is more than "just business". Hopefully I can stay away permanently this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 You block them so you don't have to read their lies and BS. The dumpers often like painting us black and playing the victim. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanctionne Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 I myself just recently blocked my ex on fb. Reason being is because it was hindering my healing process. Even though we are no longer friends on fb, we have many mutual friends and he kept popping up everywhere. When we broke up I simply hid my relationship status in order to avoid drama and unnecessary attention. Personally I feel that social networking does more bad than good when in a relationship. When you're fighting etc everyone seems to know about it and so on. Social networking also seems to cause a lot of unnecessary jealousy. If I 'liked' someones pic or status my ex and even myself felt that the other was being disrespectful or maybe even cheating. I hate fb! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
youdunsay Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 My ex blocked me first. Then I blocked him. Then I found out that he's in a relationship with another girl now. Then I delete. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 I don't know why many people give such importance to FB, and I was quite shocked when my ex deleted me and also blocked me when we broke up. I think your ex is a bit immature and perhaps addicted to FB. Being a very active FB user is already a red flag to me. Not so log ago I deleted my account, and I am very happy without it. FB is nothing but fantasy land. People create false persona's(especially women). Bunch of attention whores and "look at me" types... All this stupid passive-aggressive "blocking/unfriending" and all that crap is like some juvenile game that should be left to high schoolers. Yet, mature adults get all caught up in this. Dump FB. Its good for family and general friends and have a few laughs. Thats about it. And why do people stalk exes on FB thinking that they will benefit from it?? Stooopid.... TFOY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 The second my ex dumped me, he was blocked and deleted off my FB account. I don't really see the point in having him there, and all the pictures were hurtful to me. I don't think there's an issue with that. However I see what you're saying. After every argument she would take things down and block you. That is just incredibly childish and immature, and she was definitely doing that to get your attention. That behavior is obviously unacceptable. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Well as you get older, it lets a lot of your family and friends know what's up with you without having to email each one separately. A lot of things about my family I wouldn't know (like my niece just had a baby) without one gathering place where we all are a part of it. If something is wrong with my very elderly mom, I can let the entire clan know in a heartbeat - which I have done sometimes. I have a couple of cousins I would probably never get the chance to hobnob with. Yeah, for the young, it's just a "friend collector". But when you get older and your family is scattered to the four winds, it can be very useful. As for ex-bf, we were together a very long time and he is friends with several people in my family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author daylight Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Facebook is the only social network I use and it's good for me because it's the only way I can keep in contact with my family and friends from around the country since I'm on the road a lot and all my family live so far away from me. It's interesting to me, I still remember what relationships were like before Facebook came onto the scene. Link to post Share on other sites
youdunsay Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Bunch of attention whores and "look at me" types... TFOY Word. Also you can look at their facial expression in the photos when it is all written "look at me" types. Like pouting (some look alright), especially posing like a superstar. I mean it's weird, at least to me. But unless they are VS models league, well then that's eye pleasing lol. I'm a girl. Call me jealous then. Lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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