Maclove21 Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 How to save my marriage after 3 years of separation? My husband has a girlfriend already but he still loves me. We have tried 2 times to get back together after we decided to break up. I was the one to leave him first and i started to see other people and that hurt him very deeply, i know I did wrong and caused him a lot of pain but I want him back and I want to save my family. Please help me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Absewarrior Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Maclove: Did you attend couples counseling? Does he also want to reconcile? What is different now about your H that makes you think you can be faithful to him now? Did you learn anything from this experience? AW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maclove21 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 We never attended to couples counseling, he wanted to at first but I was in denial, there is a long between the failure in our marriage. He recognizes what he did wrong, I decided to leave him first because of the way he treated me and because he hit me once. After that he was sorry and tried to save our marriage but I thought I didn't love him anymore so I didn't give him a chance, I was very hurt and confused. I just wanted someone to love me, we got married at a young age and I didn't know a lot of things, i had no experience from other relationships because he was my first and last boyfriend. Now that he is a different man i would love to try to save our marriage.. God once told me he was the man for me and I was so mad that disobey him and went out there and tried to find a new person.. After we tried to get back but I didn't try my best to be honest, I was still hurt and mad. I asked him to talk about us a few days ago about getting back together but I found out he has a girlfriend now, he said he still loves me but he is confused and scared. Scared because if he tries one more time with me he might lose her and might lose me too if I just try and quit again. I understand his position.... I know this time will work out if he lets me, I want to make it work with everything I have, because of us and our children Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Well, the problem is, is that he's going to want to try too. If he already has a girlfriend, he committing his time to this new relationship. Look, you both screwed up. But, if BOTH of you aren't 100% committed to reconciling the marriage, then it's NEVER going to work. He'll alway be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now, if he's telling you that he loves you, then it's not fair to the girl that he's currently dating. The only thing that you can do is talk to him and see if he's open to counseling. Then, he's got to agree to cut the girlfriend loose. THEN!!! I would suggest to start dating again. Just a date, nothing more and nothing less. No pressure on him. Just a night out. Because, let's face it, you two are entirely different people now. You've matured a little (hopefully) and you need to get to know the new person. And the best way to do that is to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maclove21 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 We both screw up, you are right... He asked me for two weeks to think about what I told him, He said he is considering to get back together the only reason that stops him right now is her, he said he is confuse and needs time.. My dad said to not bother him anymore until he makes a decision, he said to let him know how I feel but don't push him or pressure him.. I am so confused if I don't do anything about it he is obviously going to spend more time with her and you know what happens when you spend time with someone you like Link to post Share on other sites
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