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I still have some unresolved money issues with my ex.


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Well my ex boyfriend owes money to two of my credit cards. He is paying them little by little since he can’t pay the whole amount in full. Last month I was reminding him and keeping him updated with everything for the two payments. He was acting all proud so he would never answer so I decided to withdraw the money from his bank account without his concern since he would not communicate with me. He was upset of course but I told him that if he needed more time or if he was going thru something he could tell me and we could work something out. I told him that I did not want to be reminding him every month to pay since I also do not want to be having too much contact with him. One of the credit cards was due yesterday and he didn’t pay it. My credit is on the line for this and late payments can screw it up. I was planning on going to his mom and telling her to remain him each month so I don’t have to be doing it but I know he will get pissed off. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be reminding him every month. What should I do?

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WhatYouWantToHear

You need to start saving up money to pay these things off. Now, let's skip the posts where you tell me that no, its his responsibility, blah blah blah, said he would pay, blah blah blah; and jump to the part where I tell you about how the grown up world works:

 

You are ultimately reponsible for these, his credit will not be damaged. I should probably say, his credit will not be damaged any more--I'm guessing its pretty trashed since he had to use yours. That should have been the first sign you shouldn't have done this and also the first sign, you ultimately will be left with the payments. Its coming believe me. So start saving.

 

Of course, the most important thing you should do is learn from this experience.

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Yeah, honestly you shouldn't have let him use your cards. It's your credit score being affected, not his. So he doesn't have to answer you at all, and he most certainly doesn't have to pay off the cards on time, or at all. It's in your name and to any credit company's knowledge it's YOUR responsibility to pay it off and get payments in on time.

 

He doesn't seem all that financially responsible, and if he had to use your cards, obviously he can't keep his own stuff in line. So why would you allow him to tarnish your credit as well?

 

Pay it off on your own. You don't want the late fees or the declining credit score. Tell his mother the full amount he owes and let him send you the money directly.

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My ex (it was really hard to type the he is my ex now) owes me over $2000 bucks between the credit card we shared and the wedding dress and brides maids dresses that were bought. He swears he will pay it all and I kind of really need him to since I'm a broke kid. But the thing is is I don't want to talk to him. The whole NC thing seems to be the best bet for me right now, no matter how much money he owes me. Even if he texts or calls about paying it, I don't want to talk to him. I could get my brother to talk to him about it, but that even seems too close right now. I might be able to do that in another week or so, but right now I just have to think of him as being dead, gone, not even on this earth any longer. I'm still newly broken...just happened Monday out of the blue...but every time I even think about contacting him about the money or anything, it makes my belly hurt and I know nothing he would say or do would make it better. So I'd say you need to kinda suck it up and just let him go. It's hard and it sucks and it's not fair for him to get away with it, but as someone said to me, is his money worth your sanity? And if you really, really need him to pay then have a 3rd party take care of it.

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OP, take it from someone who likely lost a magnitude or more of money and 'stuff' in a D: Call this money owed to you as tuition at relationship university and move on.

 

Unless you have a legal and binding contract, and get a judgment enforcing it, and can find assets/income to attach, you'll be forever chasing a person you wish nothing to do with for money and, while doing so, if you don't pay, rack up your own further debts and damage to your credit rating/creditworthiness.

 

Lastly, be very careful about 'withdrawing money from his bank account' unilaterally. If your name is not on the account, such withdrawals can be construed as theft.

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Agree with what everyone has said so far. I had a similar situation where I got a car loan for the girl I was in a relationship with, things didn't work out and I was on the line for it.

 

She never ended up paying anything on it even after the relationship was over so I had it towed and sold it off at a loss. She wasn't happy with me but it was the only way either of us were able to move on. You have no other choice in the matter when it comes to financial things like this with exes, where you are on the hook for it. Unless you have kids with said ex, that's another story altogether.

 

The car loan and money she owed me for it became one of the things that prevented us from both moving on as we had to remain in contact to make that happen.

 

Pay it off yourself and leave.

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