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Really can't handle this


supermanthatho

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supermanthatho

I've posted a lot of threads and taken in the advice but still after 8 months I have not moved on. I've been in phases where I felt like I have but that was all in denial. I don't understand one bit how someone could throw me away so easily after everything and all the effort I made through out the whole 3 year relationship. I feel rejected, worthless and unhappy. I find myself missing her so much and she let everything go to waste. All my effort for nothing. Why is is so easy for her. After all the hurt and pain I went through, and her causing the hurt upon me, life is on her side. It's unfair, there's no balance, I deserve more and better than this. Why the hell would someone just let it all fall and shatter especially if the other person did there best and tried so hard and loved them. I've already had a hard life growing up but I have always been a positive person and she was literately the one I was holding onto life for without her knowing that. I'm so negative and depressed now. I just want my girl back. The one I used to know. Not whoever the **** she is now. fml

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Fallen Petals

Hopefully you see that you have moved to the point where it is the relationship you miss. The companionship. The love. Or better put - the IDEA of her. If another girl with the same qualities were to present herself you'd fall like a rock, fast and hard. You miss feeling like the other part of something.

 

I could be way off track here, but I'm saying this because I feel similarly myself and I can relate to this way of thinking or feeling. I feel like I am missing a part of myself. Like I'm not completely whole anymore. I miss him, I miss aspects of him, but reality is seeping in and the realization that we may not have been "perfect" together it staring me in the face with a blatant tongue sticking out.

 

The logical side of my brain says that I should be happy with myself, rid myself of the codependent tendencies, and then I can offer the next guy something great. I remind myself that I have a lot to offer...that he's not getting the benefits of me the same as I am not getting the benefits of him - so we're on similar playing fields in that way. I can't know how he's feeling or what he's thinking so I don't try to presume this is any easier for him than it is for me, or that his appearance of moving on is real or isn't real. I am firmly trying NOT to think about him anymore - it doesn't help me with progressing.

 

I don't know that I've been of any help here, but hopefully it helps to know you're not alone at least.

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I've posted a lot of threads and taken in the advice but still after 8 months I have not moved on. I've been in phases where I felt like I have but that was all in denial. I don't understand one bit how someone could throw me away so easily after everything and all the effort I made through out the whole 3 year relationship. I feel rejected, worthless and unhappy. I find myself missing her so much and she let everything go to waste. All my effort for nothing. Why is is so easy for her. After all the hurt and pain I went through, and her causing the hurt upon me, life is on her side. It's unfair, there's no balance, I deserve more and better than this. Why the hell would someone just let it all fall and shatter especially if the other person did there best and tried so hard and loved them. I've already had a hard life growing up but I have always been a positive person and she was literately the one I was holding onto life for without her knowing that. I'm so negative and depressed now. I just want my girl back. The one I used to know. Not whoever the **** she is now. fml

 

 

you're right, you do deserve someone better. and now you should work on finding her, instead of the ex that obviously isn't the right person for you.

 

it takes time dude. don't fret just because you're not healed over this. take as long as you need. you'll find your peace one day.

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I've posted a lot of threads and taken in the advice but still after 8 months I have not moved on. I've been in phases where I felt like I have but that was all in denial. I don't understand one bit how someone could throw me away so easily after everything and all the effort I made through out the whole 3 year relationship. I feel rejected, worthless and unhappy. I find myself missing her so much and she let everything go to waste. All my effort for nothing. Why is is so easy for her. After all the hurt and pain I went through, and her causing the hurt upon me, life is on her side. It's unfair, there's no balance, I deserve more and better than this. Why the hell would someone just let it all fall and shatter especially if the other person did there best and tried so hard and loved them. I've already had a hard life growing up but I have always been a positive person and she was literately the one I was holding onto life for without her knowing that. I'm so negative and depressed now. I just want my girl back. The one I used to know. Not whoever the **** she is now. fml

 

Yes you have made progress although you may not feel it. IF you have been following the advice that has been offered here then you have made good progress with yourself. Moving on is not a linear progression and there is no time frame for getting healed. However, the single steps that we take at our own pace will definitely lead us to the end of the tunnel. keep strong and hold on brother.

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destroyed4sho

I have the same thoughts and also did not have a great life growing up. I am about 5 months post break up and 1.5 months NC and I do feel somewhat better but still have meltdowns almost daily.

Anyway, I think for you, because its been 8 months, its going to be a matter of meeting someone else. Maybe, you can go online and find someone that you can just be friends with and go out on dates. No sex or pressure or any of that. (I have been thinking of doing the same just to get my mind off that person). Go out on a date, even if she isn't the best looking girl in the world, tell her you got out of a relationship and just want to go out on dates, buy her something small, pay for dinner, giving makes you feel good sometimes. I know it sounds cheesy but you need some distraction.

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Coping Vortex
I've posted a lot of threads and taken in the advice but still after 8 months I have not moved on. I've been in phases where I felt like I have but that was all in denial. I don't understand one bit how someone could throw me away so easily after everything and all the effort I made through out the whole 3 year relationship. I feel rejected, worthless and unhappy. I find myself missing her so much and she let everything go to waste. All my effort for nothing. Why is is so easy for her. After all the hurt and pain I went through, and her causing the hurt upon me, life is on her side. It's unfair, there's no balance, I deserve more and better than this. Why the hell would someone just let it all fall and shatter especially if the other person did there best and tried so hard and loved them. I've already had a hard life growing up but I have always been a positive person and she was literately the one I was holding onto life for without her knowing that. I'm so negative and depressed now. I just want my girl back. The one I used to know. Not whoever the **** she is now. fml

 

I feel 100% the same as you. I'm not accepting it either. My mind keeps thinking we can get back but she is long gone from me as well. This just sucks.

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I've posted a lot of threads and taken in the advice but still after 8 months I have not moved on. I've been in phases where I felt like I have but that was all in denial. I don't understand one bit how someone could throw me away so easily after everything and all the effort I made through out the whole 3 year relationship. I feel rejected, worthless and unhappy. I find myself missing her so much and she let everything go to waste. All my effort for nothing. Why is is so easy for her. After all the hurt and pain I went through, and her causing the hurt upon me, life is on her side. It's unfair, there's no balance, I deserve more and better than this. Why the hell would someone just let it all fall and shatter especially if the other person did there best and tried so hard and loved them. I've already had a hard life growing up but I have always been a positive person and she was literately the one I was holding onto life for without her knowing that. I'm so negative and depressed now. I just want my girl back. The one I used to know. Not whoever the **** she is now. fml

 

at the end of this month it will be a year since my ex left after nearly 5years together. . I still think about her alot so I feel your pain. I would do anything to have the girl I was with back but she doesnt exist anymore shes changed far to much.. I dont know if I will ever get over it but I will learn to liv with it. todays the first valentines day in five years that I haven't been with her and its her birthday this sunday and to know I wont be apart of it is kinda upsetting but thrs nothing I can do.

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I am very sorry youre feeling this way :(

Sometimes we put our best, but the other person just dont see it, ir maybe its not interested, or maybe she is in love with another guy (sorry to be harsh). Love is really unpredictable, i dont know what did she tell you why she was breaking with you, but whatever it is, you need to move on. Nine moths is a considerable amount of time, and Im sure you can find better. You just need to let her go now, however painful it may be. Be strong, try to be happy with yourself, just let her go...

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supermanthatho

Sorry I haven't replied. I didn't have internet for a couple of days. My network was down for a bit.

 

And I'm also really sorry for everyone feeling like I am right now.

 

@Fallen Petals;

I do miss every aspect of her and the relationship I thought we were in. The ideas, perceptions, concepts and qualities. She is really someone I dream about marrying one day. I'm sorry for how it turned out for you too and it's just so terrible. You never know who is perfect for you and maybe because it is not perfect now, it could be another day or another lifetime. Yes you should be happy with yourself and I hope that one day you will satisfy that need. Thank you

 

@flitzanu

Thank you, your words are comforting and I do deserve someone better or at least deserve better from her.

 

@mutant

Maybe I have made some sort of progression but most days I find myself back in the same spot missing everything I once had. I will try to keep strong. Thank you

 

@destroyed4sho

Keep with the NC as that is what I am trying to do as well but i live in a small-ish town so its easy to bump in to each other. I have tried to date others but they don't compare or I don't feel anything with them. I have given other girls a chance so it's not like I cross them out straight away. But thank you for your input

 

@Coping Vortex

It does suck and it does feel undeserving. I also feel that hope we can get back together like we once were. It feels hopeless to have that back. I'm really sorry.

 

@jayy23

This was the first valentines day without my girl too. I had no one this valentines day. Girls asked me but I lied and said someone else already asked me and I already said yes. Truth is I just wanted to be alone and have nothing to do with it. Maybe next year will be different but with the way I'm going I think I'm going to be alone then too. It's so hard to move on. After all that you have been through and it's all just been thrown away. It was her birthday last weekend, and I saw her that same night at a club so there was no choice but a quick hello and happy birthday from me. So technically my NC broke but only for that. I'm not nasty towards her and all her friends love me and miss me.

 

@Chloe1980

Thank you. If you would like you could read my other threads to find out more about what happened in our relationship that caused our break up. I've tried after trying after trying to let her go but my body just won't let me.

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