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Can someone explain?


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I dated a guy and we broke up around a year ago. He was my first boyfriend and treated me pretty badly. I was heartbroken. A couple of months after we broke up, he asked me to get back together. I said no, yet we continued to speak often. He pursued me for quite some time. Then he started dating someone else (suddenly I began doubting my decision to not get back together with him). However, since he began dating her, he routinely pops up in my life. He still tries to talk to me, and would reappear every few weeks. Eventually he told me he was planning on deleting his Facebook, and that we wouldn't be speaking for awhile. I confronted him about the way he treated me, and he of course denied it all. However, around a month later, he messaged me on New Years again to see how I was doing and to wish me well. What in the world does this guy want from me? Does his girlfriend know he continues to talk to me? What are his motives?

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The only reason he keeps contacting you - is because he knows he will get a response.

 

Maybe it's an ego-boost, maybe he believes that he's a 'bigger person' for being your friend... maybe he really believes you need him in your life.

All in all, he contacts you - because he can.

 

The best way to stop his argy-bargy behaviour - is to completely wipe him out of your life, A - Z, everywhere and anywhere possible in all ways plus any more you can think of.

make him dead to you. Fall off his radar and prevent any form of connection in both ways.

Read the No Contact Guide in my signature (updated 2013 link).

 

And delete him for good.

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Truthfully, that might be the only answer. I think that's why I'm still hung up on him and the fact that he's found someone new and I haven't. I've deleted his number and all of his texts, but am having trouble deleting him from Facebook.

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facebook is a joke..........just delete him!!! its very easy to do, one click and in a month you won't think twice about why you deleted him, its for the better!

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Truthfully, that might be the only answer. I think that's why I'm still hung up on him and the fact that he's found someone new and I haven't. I've deleted his number and all of his texts, but am having trouble deleting him from Facebook.

 

The reason for that is that you just want to keep an eye on him, his activities, who he meets, engages with....

 

That is the equivalent of voluntary self-torture.

 

You're not engaging in true, total and full NC if you don't delete him.

 

You're just prolonging the agony for yourself, and making dumb, senseless excuses to keep tabs on him.

 

Delete it.

IT'S O-V-E-R.

 

Get real, get with the programme and get on with your life.

 

Because he isn't in it for you.

So don't be in his, for him.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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TaraMaiden, I agree. But I think it's easier said than done to cut someone out of your life who was a big part of it for quite some time. It also hurts immensely to see them with someone else.

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why are you going to get mad that he started dating? he pursued you and you rejected him, so he moved on.

 

by him simply talking to you randomly and occasionally, that's just being friendly.

 

if he's contacting you suggesting you and him should hook up and have sex, that's inappropriate.

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