Michellinda Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I have been with my boyfriend for the last two years and a half. He is 28 and i am 31. He had asked me to move in with him last year but I told him that I wanted to at least be engaged or married so I said no but a year later after my sublease ended I agreed because I didn't want to go home to my parents. Anyway he helped me move everything into his place and put my clothes in the closet and stuff up. I was excited because I love him but also scared because the apartment is small and far from where I work and my family live. So the beginning of January I move in and yes the first day New Years was rocky to say the least but I was trying to adapt. He does drink and smoke cigarettes and marijuana everyday.. i only socially drink. So I did let him in on how I felt and he was like this is what I have to offer you. I promise ill smoke in the bathroom. Before i moved in he had said I would only have to pay the amenities anyway a couple of days later I head to the home after the gym and he made an elaborate dinner but I did notice he was already drunk which made me a bit bothered. After dinner we lay on the couch and I was so happy at that point because the dinner was romantic and I was happy being with him. I then brought up that I had to pay him since its the beginning of January suddenly he's telling me I have to pay half of the rent that I better not think I'm getting a free ride. (He makes more than me) so I was shocked! We get into a huge ugly fight me crying screaming shoving it was bad. The next day I say We have to talk and he says he needs space. So I give him space and I go home to my folks. We finally meet two days later and we say we will try to work it out. But it feels different and sad. Everytime when I broach the subject I apologize on my behalf but he doesn't see any wrongdoing on his part. On one of the last times seeing him we both mutually agree to break up he says he is depressed and hates himself and isn't happy and how things aren't the same and I agree. I sent him a text saying happy we are ending things with love and not with hate. I don't hear from him until a couple of days later texting me that he will always love me And not a day goes by that he doesn't miss me. Also to let him know when I will come and get my things. So I go on Saturday and seeing him all the feelings come rushing back I could see it does for him too he hugs me and as I'm packing stuff up he grabs me hugs me and starts kissing me. He says to sit for awhile and we have a glass of wine and basically catching up when I see a girl text him I ask about her and he proceeds to tell me he took her to the movies then I ask if they hooked up he says to be honest with you we had sex. I feel like I'm punched in my stomach then he says I was devastated couldn't sleep lonely I am doing everything to forget you. Again he tells me to stay we start kissing it is getting hot and heavy but I quickly get my things and leave before we have sex. Now he is saying that he wants to see me Friday. What should I do? A part of me wants to see him but another part of me is scared and hurt by him sleeping with some other girl two weeks after our break up. I need advice. Thank you all so much!! Link to post Share on other sites
sleed Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 You should take him back read my post to see something really ****ed up your situation is how should i say this.... really really light and easy. Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 What does he want to see you about? Has he suggested that he wants to get back together? Because if he hasn't - run, girl. He is going to continue to sleep with this girl and maybe other girls while having you on the side, and all that it's going to do is hurt you. If he does want to get back together, then you have to make a choice. If you get back together with him, you're going to have to deal with the fact that he slept with this other girl for a long time - but you're also going to have to forgive him for it because otherwise it's going to end the relationship again. Is dealing with that and forgiving him something that you're willing to do? Otherwise, I would suggest that you free yourself and move on. Ending this relationship will be painful but continuing it might be even more painful in the long-run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mustangguy29 Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 The guy sounds like a mess. If he is depressed and hates himself, you cannot fix that, only he can. Do you think you will be happier 1 year from now if you stay with this guy, or if you break up, are bummed out for 3 months, and then meet another guy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 If he has to use another girl to help him "try to get over you" Then, he isn't a real man. No man would disrespect a girl and use them for sexual gratification to help "get over" someone. That's a lame ass excuse. He did it because he wanted to, simple as that.... Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 No ways! Argh but I know you still love him Deeply. If anything please make him work very hard for you. Make him go therapist and everything. He cant go sleeping with other girls Everytime this kind of stuff happens!!!! I wud be so hurt and cut if that happened Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michellinda Posted January 21, 2013 Author Share Posted January 21, 2013 Thank you all for the advice. Feel so down About this and have the worst anxiety. I know he has too many issues and he uses drugs to mask his depression. I don't even know why I am so heartbroken over this. I can't get over him being intimate with the other girl out of my head. I don't get how someone who claims he loved me could be intimate with someone else so soon. He hasn't said why he wants to see me Friday but yes I agree I don't want to get more hurt than I already am. Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Michellinda... I know that you are focusing on the him and the other girl and that's only natural. But if you go back a few days (or maybe a few weeks) when you were living together. That sounded like a total mess. Lot's of behaviors that were different than your's, then a huge argument where you split up. Even if he didn't sleep with someone else, I would not recommend that you get back together with him because it sounds like you two would be constantly fighting if you lived together again. You would be compromising too much to go back to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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