He owes me money.

[HaveFaithxx]

So my ex broke up with me about 2 months ago. I see him at Uni a few tmes a week, but we don't have classes together. I usually see him in the cafeteria. We only smile and say hi if we run into eachother.

 

He broke up with me because of circumstance. It's a long story, but the break up was not easy for him either in the beginning. He was really heartbroken in the beginning. But, he did do it, and I believe he has moved on and accepted it since he had been thinking about it for a month before he did it. I was completely devestated, but I accepted the breakup, didn't cry infront of him, beg him back or bombard him with texts. I totally gave him his space and told him I was moving on. I was falling apart but never showed it to him. I tried to be friends with him because he said he really wanted to remain best friends. I asked if we could still hang out, if he would like to come over and hang out sometimes, but he said that would be too hard for him to be so close to me. When he had to return my key, he put it in my mailslot in my apartment when I was home. Didn't even want to give it to me face to face. So I kept in contact by sending him emails about my vacation in Bali over the holidays, asked how he was, never talked about the breakup. Wished him Merry xmas and new years etc. But, then I realized it was only me contacting him, he would reply, but he never initiated contact, so I decided to stop.

 

The thing is that he owes me money, a good amount. So, a week ago, he sends an mail: "I have your money, 2000 crowns (Swedish currency) and the rest I will deposit in your bank account. I can give it to you at school. Just ell me where and when. I asked if he'd be there the next day. He replied "Yes, but I will be really busy working with my group." So then a few days later I send another message: "Will you be at school this week?" He replies not tomoorow, but the next day probably." So I reply, "Ok". THinking he would contact me again to tell me when he would be there exactly. I didn't hear from him. That day, I saw him in the cafeteria as I was walking out. I know I could have approached him, but I hate that I have to keep asking, and why didn't he tell me he was going to be there? I don't understand, he told me he has the money and wants to meet me, but isn't making any effort to give it back.

 

I know for sure it's not that he doesnt want to pay me. He would never do that. And if it is so hard to meet me, why doesnt he just deposit all of it? At first I thought, maybe it hurts too much to talk to me face to face, so he is putting it off, but now Im starting to think, that he cares about me so little, it's not something that's on his mind.

 

He is very young, and I am the first girl he ever had feelings for, his first relationship and first breakup. I still love him so much so I just want this over and done with. Cause it just prolongs my recovery. I know what I have to do to get the money back: I will just tell him to deposit the money if that is easier. But has anyone been through something like this? What I don't understand is why is he acting like this?

[TaraMaiden]

If you know where he lives, juyst call round one day/evening and tell him you're there for your money.

 

Don't ask questions of his behaviour. If he's young, chances are he's also immature, and acting thoughtlessly. If you were to ask him what he's doing, he probably couldn't give you a straight answer either.....

 

Go - with someone - and knock on his door, and just say, "As we seem to keep missing each other, I thought I'd make it easier by calling on you.

You said you have my money, so I want to save all the bother, by just collecting it."

 

And don't leave without it.

[Amelie1980]

Next time you see him, go over to him ask him for your money back and insist he goes to a cash machine there and then.

 

Never lend that sort of money again....that's over $300.

[HaveFaithxx]

Yeah, you are right. I know how to get the money back. And I know it doesn't get you anywhere anaylizing other people's behavior. But I think you have it spot on. He's so young and since he doesn't care about me anymore, paying me back is not something that's important to him. I just needed to hear it thanks. My mind has been all over the place with this.

[Samilia]

So my ex broke up with me about 2 months ago. I see him at Uni a few tmes a week, but we don't have classes together. I usually see him in the cafeteria. We only smile and say hi if we run into eachother.

 

He broke up with me because of circumstance. It's a long story, but the break up was not easy for him either in the beginning. He was really heartbroken in the beginning. But, he did do it, and I believe he has moved on and accepted it since he had been thinking about it for a month before he did it. I was completely devestated, but I accepted the breakup, didn't cry infront of him, beg him back or bombard him with texts. I totally gave him his space and told him I was moving on. I was falling apart but never showed it to him. I tried to be friends with him because he said he really wanted to remain best friends. I asked if we could still hang out, if he would like to come over and hang out sometimes, but he said that would be too hard for him to be so close to me. When he had to return my key, he put it in my mailslot in my apartment when I was home. Didn't even want to give it to me face to face. So I kept in contact by sending him emails about my vacation in Bali over the holidays, asked how he was, never talked about the breakup. Wished him Merry xmas and new years etc. But, then I realized it was only me contacting him, he would reply, but he never initiated contact, so I decided to stop.

 

The thing is that he owes me money, a good amount. So, a week ago, he sends an mail: "I have your money, 2000 crowns (Swedish currency) and the rest I will deposit in your bank account. I can give it to you at school. Just ell me where and when. I asked if he'd be there the next day. He replied "Yes, but I will be really busy working with my group." So then a few days later I send another message: "Will you be at school this week?" He replies not tomoorow, but the next day probably." So I reply, "Ok". THinking he would contact me again to tell me when he would be there exactly. I didn't hear from him. That day, I saw him in the cafeteria as I was walking out. I know I could have approached him, but I hate that I have to keep asking, and why didn't he tell me he was going to be there? I don't understand, he told me he has the money and wants to meet me, but isn't making any effort to give it back.

 

I know for sure it's not that he doesnt want to pay me. He would never do that. And if it is so hard to meet me, why doesnt he just deposit all of it? At first I thought, maybe it hurts too much to talk to me face to face, so he is putting it off, but now Im starting to think, that he cares about me so little, it's not something that's on his mind.

 

He is very young, and I am the first girl he ever had feelings for, his first relationship and first breakup. I still love him so much so I just want this over and done with. Cause it just prolongs my recovery. I know what I have to do to get the money back: I will just tell him to deposit the money if that is easier. But has anyone been through something like this? What I don't understand is why is he acting like this?

 

Just send a text "Hello, I really need the money, please make a deposit on my account, thanks", something of that nature, straight forward.

Why he's acting like that? My first thought is that he spent it, second thought is that he might be hoping you'll forget about it.