Coping Vortex Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 So....my ex breaks NC tonight tells me she misses me terribly. She feels we are not over we are ON HOLD. Really? On hold? So I take the bait and say so are you saying years from now we'll run into each other on the street and well get back together? She says NO....not years. But she never did define what on hold meant as far as time. I'm 2nd position? She admitted she is in love with me and she is not in love with another guy. But I do know she is seeing another guy. Either he's putting her feet to sleep or she is lying. She seemed pretty sincere with her other texts to me. Maybe a GIGS? Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 That's complete bull***T. Sorry about my French. She's stringing you along! Don't do it!!!!!!!! Especially when she's seeing another guy. So obvious that if it doesn't work out she wants u to be there to come back to! what a joke. you can do much better 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MyAngel Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Huh, how about that? I think your theory is right about the new guy. Maybe she is realizing that he's not all he's cracked up to be. She misses how she had it with you. "On hold" is so disrespectful. It seems like she wants YOU to be on hold and still available while she is free to not be on hold. "On hold" is an excuse to be with other people which is what she's doing. What do you think you should do? Could you ever truly move past this if you were to give it another shot? Not that she's asked for another shot - it's like she is still making sure you're keen as she's starting to get bored of this new guy. :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Next time she calls you, put her "on hold" until further notice, and see how she likes it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 12, 2013 Author Share Posted January 12, 2013 Your right guys I thought it was crazy too. If she loves me and not him then what is she doing. The only thing I can think of is she trying out the dating life. As she went right from marriage and divorce to me. It could be GIGS. I am going to call her on it eventually. Also tell her I'm not waiting, if she loves me then let's get this back together, if not then I'm gone for good. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Also tell her I'm not waiting, if she loves me then let's get this back together, if not then I'm gone for good. This is more the correct attitude. I would have stayed NC ..or told her to "F-k off don't call me ever again and I'm not your back up plan and we aren't friends and wont be.". Yes these words You really actually have a better chance of getting back that way..not that i think that is happening. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 By the way the only reason you got this semi nice communication is because you were NC. Now that you responded I bet she is off again and you wont hear from her except after another period of NC. She gets better (ego boost) when you text her or respond... you get worse. Inverse relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
gullibleme Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Your right guys I thought it was crazy too. If she loves me and not him then what is she doing. The only thing I can think of is she trying out the dating life. As she went right from marriage and divorce to me. It could be GIGS. I am going to call her on it eventually. Also tell her I'm not waiting, if she loves me then let's get this back together, if not then I'm gone for good This was exactly my situation...I never posted my original reason for being here but this is it...he was married 25 yrs and divorced and we were together a year and a half after that...he then began to say things like" I don't know what I want", "I need to experience the single life" he kept stringing me along for months til I finally said "no more contact, I cannot be just friends" He is in another relationship and we have kept nc for 6 months now. I really don't care about his life any more although I am not ready to just say Hello if he initiated it. I hope you can figure things out for yourself....the bottom line is if she wanted to be with you she would....thats what kept me moving forward..good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 I'm thinking she misses the familiarity. That doesn't mean she doesn't 'love' you, but it's not enough to want to be with you. She has to be in love with you. Loving you, at this juncture, aint going to cut it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 So....my ex breaks NC tonight tells me she misses me terribly. She feels we are not over we are ON HOLD. Really? On hold? So I take the bait and say so are you saying years from now we'll run into each other on the street and well get back together? She says NO....not years. But she never did define what on hold meant as far as time. I'm 2nd position? She admitted she is in love with me and she is not in love with another guy. But I do know she is seeing another guy. Either he's putting her feet to sleep or she is lying. She seemed pretty sincere with her other texts to me. Maybe a GIGS? On hold is the exact same post-break-up equivalent of 'going ON a break' while still with the person.... I would have been tempted to say something along the lines of... "On hold? Oh right... we're 'on hold'.... are you still 'holding' that guy too? are you still screwing him? is that the kind of 'hold' we're on? Mind if I go on a similar 'hold' with another girl? That okay with you, or are you broken up with him and not seeing him any more? In which case, what's the point of 'holding' if you're free and single? because - hey, look! - here I am!!" And hang up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Holy crap... I would be a freaking train wreck if I heard that from my ex. I'd ask her what she means by "on hold"? Tell her to figure out what she wants now. She's had time away from you. Is life better with or without you? She should know by now and if she doesn't then I think she's playing games. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 I'm thinking she misses the familiarity. That doesn't mean she doesn't 'love' you, but it's not enough to want to be with you. She has to be in love with you. Loving you, at this juncture, aint going to cut it. You were so right when you posted this. If you see my latest posts she said She "is with someone else...that's it". and, "I love the memory of you I'm not in love with you" Either she had some ephifany or it sounds like a friend giving her some sort of wisdom. I think the look back cemented things in her mind. Too bad I thought we had a chance to get bac on track. Our problems were easy to fix. I should have gotten to her before this new guy came into the picture. Just bad timing. Too bad. In another universe we could have made it easily. Link to post Share on other sites
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 So....my ex breaks NC tonight tells me she misses me terribly. She feels we are not over we are ON HOLD. Really? On hold? So I take the bait and say so are you saying years from now we'll run into each other on the street and well get back together? She says NO....not years. But she never did define what on hold meant as far as time. I'm 2nd position? She admitted she is in love with me and she is not in love with another guy. But I do know she is seeing another guy. Either he's putting her feet to sleep or she is lying. She seemed pretty sincere with her other texts to me. Maybe a GIGS? OMG...why does it matter if its GIGS or not. Why would you put yourself in a situation where you allow yourself to be second best and on hold. You are better than that! Honestly, here is how I see it. If she really loves you then she would be with you. Anything else is just BS! You need to really cut ties and move on. Who knows...maybe when you actually move on is when she starts freaking out and really wanting you back. We as humans are selfish by nature. We never value what we have and when its gone then we freak out. She obviously doesn't value you right now when you are still pining over her. I bet when you decide to truly move on that's probably when she will freak out. Either way you are better off if you move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 21, 2013 Author Share Posted January 21, 2013 OMG...why does it matter if its GIGS or not. Why would you put yourself in a situation where you allow yourself to be second best and on hold. You are better than that! Honestly, here is how I see it. If she really loves you then she would be with you. Anything else is just BS! You need to really cut ties and move on. Who knows...maybe when you actually move on is when she starts freaking out and really wanting you back. We as humans are selfish by nature. We never value what we have and when its gone then we freak out. She obviously doesn't value you right now when you are still pining over her. I bet when you decide to truly move on that's probably when she will freak out. Either way you are better off if you move on. I am resigned to move on now. As I mentioned she dropped the bomb she only loves the memory of me. Link to post Share on other sites
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