Having trouble letting go

[lostletters]

Hey guys,

 

So I an 25 and recently my ex girlfriend (also 25) left me after a great 4 year relationship. I have been in several relationships, none for this long, but none were as awesome as this one, and I know that it's the same for her. We met in college where we dated for 2 years, then she went a few states away for graduate school and I had one more year of college left. After my college I moved and got a job in New York and she still had one year of grad school left. This past September, she moved just a couple hours away for more education and we decided to stay together because now we could visit a lot more even though we were still technically LDR.

 

Anyway, after almost two months of her at her new school, she came to visit (we had seen eachother a few times in those 2 months) and said we should go on a break. It kinda blindsided me, but I took it pretty well at first. Two weeks later, she came back to end it and I freaked out a little mostly because she gave no indication of this before asking for a break.

 

Her reasoning was thin and she said she just needs to work on her school and swore there was no one else. Almost 2.5 months later I believe that because there is no indication.

 

Since then, we were in contact for about a month and then I went no contact because I needed to heal. That was late November. The only contact we've had since then was she sent me a letter pretty much saying she just needs to work on her school and started seeing me as part of her family but is not ready for marriage. I then emailed her back out of anger and told her she broke up with me, it's done (I wish I hadn't done that, but she did leave me). Then recently she emailed me a response essentially saying what she did in the first letter.

 

So...I am wondering if anyone has any thoughts on a couple things:

 

1. Is it possible she's in a new place and just has a lot of emotions going on right now? I experienced that a little when I started my job in a new city and almost ended it myself. I am glad I didn't, but looking back, maybe I should have.

 

2. Why do I not feel any better about this after 2.5 months? I was ready to give her a ring, but now it seems like everything's gone.

 

3. Any advice on trying to make it work again without feeling desperate?

 

Thanks so much for the time and I appreciate any advice:)

[denxnis]

There is someone else. Don't blame yourself, long distance rarely ever works out because woman want someone there to comfort them and be there for them more than a few times a month.

 

Think about it, what does she have to gain by cutting ties with you?

 

Almost nothing. It's not like you were smothering her because you were long distance.