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Feeling really hurt right now


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Some of you know my story already from previous threads. My bf and I got back together after we had a break-up 3 months ago. Then, 2 days before Christmas, about 6 months into our "relationship", he dumped me. This time, it sounded final. I accepted it, and just wished him good luck and we exchanged Christmas greetings and ended on a good note (though I was very depressed and bitter about the whole thing). Anyway, I deleted his number from my phone (though I still have his card which has all his numbers, in case I ever want to get back in touch with him).

 

We used to communicate through an app called Viber. It's an app that allows you to text for free, and also to have phone calls for free. The thing is, this app works just like a phone, except that on the phone, you can block texts and phone calls from certain numbers, whereas on the app, you can't.

 

Since I had deleted his number from my phone, I no longer could see him as a contact on Viber, but today, I added his contact info into my phone again, to see if he was still on that app. Turns out he wasn't. Now I'm really hurt and wondering if he deactivated his account from there because he couldn't possibly block me on it? He used to use it to communicate with other people as well, not just me... I am wondering if that also means that he has blocked me from contacting him by regular mobile phone? This hurts a lot. I never intended to contact him anyway, but if he has blocked me, he's acting like I'm some sort of crazy stalker, which I never was.. :(

 

Any thoughts on this? I know it might seem something trivial, but do you think he deactivated his account because he was feeling hurt as well, and didn't want to be reminded of me (because we used to use that app), or is it because he doesn't want me contacting him and has blocked me on the phone as well? :( I know there's no way of knowing for sure, but do dumpers usually delete and block their ex's number, especially if they parted on a good note and the dumpee did not go crazy on him and say nasty stuff?

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I think it is more likely that he deleted his account because it reminded him of you...and some part of him REALLY misses you.

 

I did similar stuff too. Tossed out coffee cups and mugs I had bought when on trips with my fiancee because they reminded me of the trip we took together, and it only brought on a new round of raw pain.

 

yes..this only happened to me two days ago...but I understand why he did it. Probably he would would get pangs of pain and grief every time he unlocked his phone and saw that app.

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Simon Phoenix

Doesn't matter. Completely irrelevant. Do what you need to do and stop wondering about how he could possibly perceive it. He should not be a consideration in your life -- you aren't in his. So my answer to your question is "Who cares?"

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I think it is more likely that he deleted his account because it reminded him of you...and some part of him REALLY misses you.

 

I did similar stuff too. Tossed out coffee cups and mugs I had bought when on trips with my fiancee because they reminded me of the trip we took together, and it only brought on a new round of raw pain.

 

yes..this only happened to me two days ago...but I understand why he did it. Probably he would would get pangs of pain and grief every time he unlocked his phone and saw that app.

Even though he was the dumper? I mean, dumpers go through that? I don't know. So does that mean that he may also have removed my contact information from his phone? So he no longer has my phone #? :(

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You're over-thinking this, aren't you?

 

Like Simon Phoenix says, who cares?

It's not your business what he does, or why he does it.

You can't get into his mind, and trying to second guess, is just going to mind-phukk you even more.

 

Leave it be. Drop it, and quit obsessing....It honestly doesn't matter any more.

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Even though he was the dumper? I mean, dumpers go through that? I don't know. So does that mean that he may also have removed my contact information from his phone? So he no longer has my phone #? :(

 

My exfiancee dumped me. I know firsthand she is suffering, too.

 

Maybe not as much as I am...but she is hurting.

 

Yes, if the person who dumped you loved you at one point, it hurts them...and they have to deal with the guilt of knowing they hurt you, too.

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You're over-thinking this, aren't you?

 

Like Simon Phoenix says, who cares?

It's not your business what he does, or why he does it.

You can't get into his mind, and trying to second guess, is just going to mind-phukk you even more.

 

Leave it be. Drop it, and quit obsessing....It honestly doesn't matter any more.

I'm not overthinking it, I don't think. I was nice to him and if, despite that, and despite the fact that we parted on a good note, I got blocked, then I'd like to know, especially in case he ever decides to unblock me in order to contact me again, in the future (which he probably will when he realizes he's being sent to my country for work, and can make a booty call).

 

I also would like to know because I might want to be able to contact him at some point in the future, as a friend. We never discussed "being friends." But really, I didn't hurt him in any way, so it hurts to know that he doesn't even want to consider the possibility of being friends down the line. I was just a fling that he will forget about in a few months? Really? :(

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My exfiancee dumped me. I know firsthand she is suffering, too.

 

Maybe not as much as I am...but she is hurting.

 

Yes, if the person who dumped you loved you at one point, it hurts them...and they have to deal with the guilt of knowing they hurt you, too.

He told me he didn't love me as more than just a friend. He said he cared about me, and didn't want to hurt me. He said this while dumping me.

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Some of you know my story already from previous threads. My bf and I got back together after we had a break-up 3 months ago. Then, 2 days before Christmas, about 6 months into our "relationship", he dumped me. This time, it sounded final. I accepted it, and just wished him good luck and we exchanged Christmas greetings and ended on a good note (though I was very depressed and bitter about the whole thing). Anyway, I deleted his number from my phone (though I still have his card which has all his numbers, in case I ever want to get back in touch with him).

 

We used to communicate through an app called Viber. It's an app that allows you to text for free, and also to have phone calls for free. The thing is, this app works just like a phone, except that on the phone, you can block texts and phone calls from certain numbers, whereas on the app, you can't.

 

Since I had deleted his number from my phone, I no longer could see him as a contact on Viber, but today, I added his contact info into my phone again, to see if he was still on that app. Turns out he wasn't. Now I'm really hurt and wondering if he deactivated his account from there because he couldn't possibly block me on it? He used to use it to communicate with other people as well, not just me... I am wondering if that also means that he has blocked me from contacting him by regular mobile phone? This hurts a lot. I never intended to contact him anyway, but if he has blocked me, he's acting like I'm some sort of crazy stalker, which I never was.. :(

 

Any thoughts on this? I know it might seem something trivial, but do you think he deactivated his account because he was feeling hurt as well, and didn't want to be reminded of me (because we used to use that app), or is it because he doesn't want me contacting him and has blocked me on the phone as well? :( I know there's no way of knowing for sure, but do dumpers usually delete and block their ex's number, especially if they parted on a good note and the dumpee did not go crazy on him and say nasty stuff?

 

 

I think you're hoping for a reconciliation again, however, you said it yourself, it's over. You don't need to part in bad terms from someone to make the choice to take some distance.

 

About the APP and phone number, you deleted him too, so don't be too upset about him doing the same thing. Your ego is hurt. He might think that it's the best way for you to move on too. What good would it be anyway to keep in touch right now?

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I'm not overthinking it, I don't think. I was nice to him and if, despite that, and despite the fact that we parted on a good note, I got blocked, then I'd like to know, especially in case he ever decides to unblock me in order to contact me again, in the future (which he probably will when he realizes he's being sent to my country for work, and can make a booty call).

 

I also would like to know because I might want to be able to contact him at some point in the future, as a friend. We never discussed "being friends." But really, I didn't hurt him in any way, so it hurts to know that he doesn't even want to consider the possibility of being friends down the line. I was just a fling that he will forget about in a few months? Really? :(

 

Oh stop, please! All these 'maybe, what if, and perhaps'....!

That, if it comes to anything, is all in the future!

 

You need to concentrate on, and find solace in, the present!

 

So many people live in the past, in a nostalgic tragic fug, thinking on what was, and if only....

Others keep looking ahead, making imaginary plans, with imaginary scenarios and what if's....

 

A huge percentage, do both!

 

People consistently forget to be here, now, and present.

Think about yourself, NOW.

What, do you really need, NOW to help you clear your mind and move on?

What can you do most, to help your self, this minute, to take a step towards healing?

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You weren't just a fling that he will forget about.

 

The only reason being friends with him sounds like a good idea to you is because you don't want to lose him from your life forever. The reality is, for your own sake you don't want to be friends with him. Does the idea of him with other girls bother you at all? If you saw him loving life without you, would you feel upset? Probably. Which is why you shouldn't worry about a friendship down the line. When down the line happens, you may not even care enough to reach out to him and attempt a friendship.

 

As for the blocking thing. He's not acting like you're a crazy stalker. He doesn't want to hear from you so that he can move on. He can't move on with you constantly bothering him.

Edited by na49
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Simon Phoenix
I'm not overthinking it, I don't think. I was nice to him and if, despite that, and despite the fact that we parted on a good note, I got blocked, then I'd like to know, especially in case he ever decides to unblock me in order to contact me again, in the future (which he probably will when he realizes he's being sent to my country for work, and can make a booty call).

 

I also would like to know because I might want to be able to contact him at some point in the future, as a friend. We never discussed "being friends." But really, I didn't hurt him in any way, so it hurts to know that he doesn't even want to consider the possibility of being friends down the line. I was just a fling that he will forget about in a few months? Really? :(

 

You are definitely overthinking this. None of this matters and none of this is helping you recover and move on with your life. It is absolutely irrelevant. Stop trying to guess what other people -- especially people who have dumped you -- are thinking. It's useless and serves no practical purpose whatsoever.

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As for the blocking thing. He's not acting like you're a crazy stalker. He doesn't want to hear from you so that he can move on. He can't move on with you constantly bothering him.

I have not contacted him since he dumped me. He sent me the last text mssg. When he dumped me the first time around (3 months before this episode), I didn't contact him either, so he knows I am not the type to contact after being dumped. He texted me himself , a week later, and when I still did not respond, he called me. I never bothered him when/after he dumped me.

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As for the blocking thing. He's not acting like you're a crazy stalker. He doesn't want to hear from you so that he can move on. He can't move on with you constantly bothering him.

 

So true.. I think my ex feels the same way. She always said when I reached out to her it made her feel more miserable and frustrated and all.

 

My guess is that she wants to move on and hearing from me doesn't let her. On top of that it might bring up bad memories, though she did say she tried to look at the good ones.

 

I just stop over thinking it now, because as it's already said. There is NO USE thinking about our ex. It doesn't solve anything and we don't move on that way while they can move on, because they aren't thinking about us as much.

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I have not contacted him since he dumped me. He sent me the last text mssg. When he dumped me the first time around (3 months before this episode), I didn't contact him either, so he knows I am not the type to contact after being dumped. He texted me himself , a week later, and when I still did not respond, he called me. I never bothered him when/after he dumped me.

that's okay.. let him do what he wants, but just ignore or block him. If he really wants you that bad.. he will prove it some how and SHOW that he deserves a chance with you.

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Nomore...you shouldn't worry whether this men deactivated or blocked you....I know you hurt and nothing no one says can truly mend you...only time will. It doesn't matter though. Just...look, it hurts, I know. But you gave this Guy another chance to destroy your heart.

 

Don't let such an unappreciated person continue to destroy it. You are better than that. You are better than all of this. Realize how you are worth more than merely crying over some punk that didn't even truly care about you! He didn't even show it! Realize you paid him too many heavy tolls and do not pay him a cent more of your hurt!

 

Live, go find and you can...someone who will love you! Who will erase this jerk from your world, and show you how you should be loved...but you must master your emotions above this pain...don't be enslaved.

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I think I have my answer. :( I just installed another App called WhatsApp ,similar to Viber. He is still on there.. I think it's because that app has the option to block someone, and he knew I didn't use that app. What a jerk. It was never about the app reminding him of me. It was all about him trying to avoid me because, well, he simply doesn't give a flying f*ck about using me, abusing me, then discarding me!

 

It's not like I was ever going to contact him anyway. He thinks too highly of himself, and that women are gonna throw themselves at him no matter how ****ty he treats them. :mad: He can go f*ck himself. :mad:

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It's good you're getting angry about the idiot.

 

Maybe that's what it took.

 

Can you start caring less, now?

 

He's a jerk.

 

No more jerks....? :cool:

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It's good you're getting angry about the idiot.

 

Maybe that's what it took.

 

Can you start caring less, now?

 

He's a jerk.

 

No more jerks....? :cool:

These days, I go back and forth between angry and depressed/sad/missing him. :(

 

I just saw that he re-joined that app Viber... :confused::( I guess I misinterpreted or something. Guess he can't stop mssging his Thai girl friends/prostitutes.. so had to reactivate.. :mad: No text/call from him since he dumped me 8 days ago. Like I said, he can go f*ck himself, if he thinks I'm going to throw myself at him and grovel and beg again. He probably never felt bad about it. He never gave a **** about me. This is a guy who would tell me we were gonna go to dinner that evening, and then when I would arrive at his place so we'd go together, he'd tell me he already had a sandwich at home. :mad: What a rude ass*ole.

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What do you miss about him? What made you want to keep him around if he treated you so badly?

There were good and bad times. I miss the excitement of finally meeting a guy who liked me and was interested in talking to me (it was my first relationship ever). I miss how he chased me at first, and showed so much interest and treated me really well and with respect, and how we spent so much time together, and had so much fun. How we used to play scrabble together ( I bought a board ), and online chess when he went back home (UK). I miss how he used to promise me that he'd let me know as soon as he found out when he'd be sent to my country/city for work again, and how he'd text me or call me or email me immediately when he found out that he was being sent here. I miss the fact that he used to cook for me. I miss going shopping for food with him, so that he'd cook me dinner. I miss cooking for him. I miss going out to dinner with him, going to the pub with him, or just having wine or beer at home with him, while watching Dexter or a sci fi movie.

 

He was the first guy I've ever been with sexually as well. And I miss waking up next to someone, I miss cuddling with him in bed, him warming me up cos the sheets would be so cold when we'd first get into bed. I miss putting my head on his chest, and falling asleep like that, or him turning his back to me, and then grabbing my arm and wrapping it around his waist, and falling asleep. I miss waking up in the morning and seeing him standing at the balcony smoking a cigarette and watching me. I miss how he'd tell me to take a shower / bath first. I miss waking up in the morning and him bringing me coffee, or me getting up and putting the coffee on. I miss hugging him from the back while he was doing something in the kitchen. Just miss all the times we spent together. The nice times, not the times that were stressful or the times that he was disrespectful.

 

He had a sort of Jekyll/Hyde personality I guess, and blew hot and cold, but when he blew hot, it was great, so amazing. And I am nostalgic and miss those moments we spent together. It was the best summer/autumn of my life. :(

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There were good and bad times. I miss the excitement of finally meeting a guy who liked me and was interested in talking to me (it was my first relationship ever). I miss how he chased me at first, and showed so much interest and treated me really well and with respect, and how we spent so much time together, and had so much fun. How we used to play scrabble together ( I bought a board ), and online chess when he went back home (UK). I miss how he used to promise me that he'd let me know as soon as he found out when he'd be sent to my country/city for work again, and how he'd text me or call me or email me immediately when he found out that he was being sent here. I miss the fact that he used to cook for me. I miss going shopping for food with him, so that he'd cook me dinner. I miss cooking for him. I miss going out to dinner with him, going to the pub with him, or just having wine or beer at home with him, while watching Dexter or a sci fi movie.

 

He was the first guy I've ever been with sexually as well. And I miss waking up next to someone, I miss cuddling with him in bed, him warming me up cos the sheets would be so cold when we'd first get into bed. I miss putting my head on his chest, and falling asleep like that, or him turning his back to me, and then grabbing my arm and wrapping it around his waist, and falling asleep. I miss waking up in the morning and seeing him standing at the balcony smoking a cigarette and watching me. I miss how he'd tell me to take a shower / bath first. I miss waking up in the morning and him bringing me coffee, or me getting up and putting the coffee on. I miss hugging him from the back while he was doing something in the kitchen. Just miss all the times we spent together. The nice times, not the times that were stressful or the times that he was disrespectful.

 

He had a sort of Jekyll/Hyde personality I guess, and blew hot and cold, but when he blew hot, it was great, so amazing. And I am nostalgic and miss those moments we spent together. It was the best summer/autumn of my life. :(

 

 

Damn...I feel like I have an evil twin on here or something...

 

This sounds EXACTLY like what I would say about my fiance. The coffee...the holding her in bed...hugging her from the back...etc ALL of it.

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