Long distance break up (sad break up)

[Serbai]

This might be a long one sorry in advance, so before university I'd never really had a boyfriend before, I don't consider myself to be attractive in any way, I don't tan well and my dark features make this even worse!! I was surprised when I first started getting attention from guys at uni...it was all new to me!! I remember the first guy I ever really liked... He was gorgeous and so out of my league, I was too dumb at this point and gave him so much of my time he didn't deserve, it was only when my cousin pointed out he was probably trying to "**** a fresher" that I realised how dumb I was being. After that I got into the swing of uni, I'd kiss boys and not even bother to ask fr their numbers! I was therefore very surprised at the end of first year when a boy asked me out on a real date!! My first real date! I was so concerned about getting hurt I didn't even want to go at first, but he was really nice, very sweet, hadn't had any girlfriends previously and we ended up dating, whilst we did so I started to notice what a sloppy drunk he was and bought this up in conversations ...it came out that he'd gotten with a few of his girl mates when he'd been drunk and straight away I voiced my concerns, ofc I got the whole oh well I'd never to that to you ....but six months later ...that exact thing happens ..with the exact person he said he wouldn't do it with!!! I was heart broken, my first ever boyfriend and my first ever everything! That summer unfortunately I became a victim of the whole fling thing, I had a tiny little fling with a pt from the university gym which of course all ended in tears, while this was all going on I also had one of the worst ever year at uni!! And a pretty horrific summer....but then in September when a boy I'd met briefly out clubbing on valentines day asked me for my number, everything changed, he was perfect for me, he wasn't sexually promiscuous which was brilliant as I'd only been with two people myself, he was genuinely kind and caring and the kind of guy you could really trust...when we were at university he was everything I could of ever wanted and I felt like I was set for life:) but then uni ended and everything just seemed to fall apart I always knew it was going to be hard, he lives in guernsey (channel islands) and I live in the uk, but I didn't know it would be THIS hard!! We tried so very hard to keep things going visiting back and fourth sending each other presents but then the other day on Christmas Day it hit me so hard, my cousin invited her boyfriend round on Christmas Day and I thought to myself I want that .. Then the more I thought .... I thought no I need that!! My home life isn't particularly great I live with my mum and her disgusting husband (my father passed away and both my older siblings have moved out) it had become evident over the past few months that he doesn't want to move over here, which is fine, my mum is as mad as a hatter and he can't quit his graduate scheme but it also seems like he doesn't want me there either, he thinks its too unfair as I'd have no friends and wouldn't be able to follow my dream job, I've told him I'd do anything to stay with him but then I don't know maybe I would be miserable ....so we made the decision to break up purely based on the long distance and expense of buying a plane tickets to see each other a pathetic amount of times a year. I guess it was something that had to be done but my god, even though I didn't ever see him, I miss him so so so so so so so much as I know I'll never see him again, my heart is broken again and I don't know if I will ever find someone that I can connect to so well again, he's just so so perfect for me. What should I do? Should I stick to my guns about the break up and hope to find someone more local or should I tell him that we should get back together and think about moving over there but leaving everything behind ?? What would you do if you were me ?? I know it's an essay but I just wanted to show my history and how I feel so lucky to have found him, nice answers only please thank you so much

[TaraMaiden]

One: Stop threadjacking other threads for attention to yours.

 

Two: Your post is one great big block of text, which makes it difficult to negotiate.

 

You need to break it up into paragraphs and explain things a bit more briefly - you sound breathless and desperate....

 

How old are you?

[Bumaga vsyo sterpit]

You seem young... 18 or 19? Internet relationships can work, but there are really much, much better alternatives. I've been through more than I can remember, because I spent 11 years growing up in Egypt under a rock. In my opinion it's better to go through many flings "irl" than to have one deep, stable Internet relationship. The more serious it gets, the more painful. You need to spare yourself this tremendous mental and physical strain. It won't happen overnight, but try to wean yourself off this guy slowly by seeing other people. In a matter of time, not even that much, you will find yourself adjusting to your new surroundings and your feelings for your boyfriend will fade away.