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Lonely and ready to date again


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I accept that my relationship is over. I'm still working on getting through the feelings (mostly bruised ego and loneliness), but I know we will never get back together. I'm okay with that. I had two options: Him or a committed loving relationship with someone else. I chose the latter.

 

But I still feel that overwhelming loneliness. Especially with the holidays here. I want to cuddle with someone and kiss and exchange presents and have a romantic dinner and toast marshmallows by the fire.

 

And I'm alone. I keep searching for my future boyfriend, but he isn't there. I have options, but no one with a spark. I know you might think that I need to work on this breakup before I get into another relationship, but I feel like I am ready. The relationship I did have with my ex wasn't really a relationship to me. We didn't do anything as a couple. We basically hung out together and kept each other company. That's it. So maybe that is why I am wanting a new boyfriend so urgently. Because technically, I have felt single this whole entire year. My current ex didn't even want to call me his girlfriend or even see me as "the one."

 

I think I am ready because this breakup that I'm dealing with happened along time ago, but I just finally accepted it.

 

I went on a date on Friday and it was great. I really liked the guy. And sure, there was a moment that I thought of my ex (didn't last long), but most of the time I was just happy and it was fun. Although the guy turned out to not want anything serious, only fun (which I'm not looking for), I realized that I can be happy with someone else!

 

I'm ready to date again. Now the only qualm is finding the right guy.

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As strange as this might sound...when you "look", you have the potential in making mistakes and possibly settling.

Learn to love yourself and not "need" a man in your life to assist in that. When you're NOT looking is when that special person suddenly appears.

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I accept that my relationship is over. I'm still working on getting through the feelings (mostly bruised ego and loneliness), but I know we will never get back together. I'm okay with that. I had two options: Him or a committed loving relationship with someone else. I chose the latter.

I'm not sure why you two broke up or why your ego would be bruised, but you can see it as a learning experience. You had some good times, made a few mistakes, but learned from the situation as a whole. You should now be a better women than when you first entered the relationship.

 

But I still feel that overwhelming loneliness. Especially with the holidays here. I want to cuddle with someone and kiss and exchange presents and have a romantic dinner and toast marshmallows by the fire.

Damn, I know that feeling, though it has accompanied me for 10 years. You never get quite used to it; there is this nagging longing that seems never to go away.

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Being lonely and wanting to exchange gifts isn't a reason to date someone. You're not ready to date at all, and you most certainly aren't over your ex. You're just looking for a place holder to fill the emptiness within you. Why can't you be single to just work on yourself? I'm not trying to be an a.sshole here but you're doing nothing but setting yourself up for more hurt. Searching high and low for a boyfriend isn't going to bring about anyone of any quality. Especially when you're hurting. You'll latch on to anyone. Until you can honestly and truly be happy, and fulfilled as a single person, you're not going to have any sort of healthy and fulfilling relationship.

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so what do you want in a guy? what is your 10x10 -- 10 things he must have, 10 things he must not have?

 

will await your reply

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so what do you want in a guy? what is your 10x10 -- 10 things he must have, 10 things he must not have?

 

will await your reply

 

Sorry, just saw this.

 

hmm 10 things I do want:(no particular order)

1. humor

2. looks

3. sarcasm

4. romantic

5. attentive

6. good cook (bc I don't cook!)

7. outgoing

8. kind

9. loves his family

10. wants a committed relationship with a future!

 

10 thing I don't want:

1. jerk

2. liar

3. manipulator

4. cheater

5. doesn't want a family or comitted relationship

6. player

7. short guys (sorry!)

8. narcissistic bung holes

9. double chins (hehe jk)

10. can't take a joke

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job? future earning? does dress/style/etc fall under #2 looks?

 

jerk is pretty broad brush - rude, lack of manners/social skills

 

you've got a lot of stuff on both sides, wanting the good side and not wanting the bad side - #10 and #5 for instance, 1 and 10, 2 and 9, etc

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