will no contact work?

[tom_gbr]

I saw my ex girlfriend for the first time wednesday night since we broke up on the phone over two weeks ago. At the time it came to a massive shock to me as a small arguement about something turned into a big one and she said that she couldnt do this anymore and she wanted to break up.

 

She said with everythings thats going on in her life right now she needs time to herself to sort things out and also with our age difference (she being 16 and me being 20) we both want different things.

 

I took it very badly as she is my first love, and i had been with her for six months. She was amazing in everyway apart from her little mood swings every now and then. As we lived two hours away i stayed with her every weekend until about a month ago when she got a weekned job so i could only see her friday nights whic made things a bit difficult.

 

Anyway straight after she broke up with me on the phone i was speaking to her every night and I kept asking why we cant be together and so on and so on. I just couldnt accept it I didnt wanna loose her. She soon had enough of being nice and sympathetic with me and started to get angry with me because i just kept asking questions that she had already answered.

 

When we broke up she still loved me and had strog feelings for me so i kept asking her why do we have to break up completely and why we cant just go on a break. She said that it could take months and months to sort herself out. I said i was happy with that as it meant that i didnt have to loose her. She said she didnt us doing this because it was unfair on me.

 

Anyway after many phone calls we agreed that i could see her on wednesday for a couple of hours, juts as friends. When i first saw her i felt really nervous and it was a bit awkward for both of us. Conversation was a bit thin but picked up after a while. Managed to have a bit of a laugh aswell.

 

While eating in a restaurant i dont know why but i thought it would be a good idea to ask some more questions that i had on my mind which went very wrong. One thing I said to her was "that i thought if i could come up here just as a friend then break contact with you when i leave i thought you might miss me and want me back."

 

Soon after i said this i realised that i should of kept it to myself, she turned to me and got a bit angry and said " i thought u said you were coming to see me just as a friend" as she didnt want me seeing her and pleading for her back. I told her that i wasnt pleading for her back and that i was just telling her what im thinking about things and how im feeling.

 

I really do think though after going up there that she was right when she said that she just doesnt want a boyfriend right now, as she said to me also that even if her feelings did come back strong for me that we wont be getting back together.

 

I dont know why but the main things that bothered me about this night is when it camt to me leaving. I dropped her off at her mums house and got out of the car to give her a hug. She looked numb, she didnt say anything or start crying, which i thought she would of done. It really got to me it was like she didnt care. Either that or she didnt want me getting mixed signals. So i said some things to her and left.

 

Ive started the no contact rule now and im hoping im going to get something out of it. Either her wanting me back or for me to get over her. But is there any chance in getting her back after what happened when i saw her for the first time since we broke up? She also knows that im doing no contact so that might give her a reason not to contact me just because it's what i think will get her back.

 

If anyway could help me it would be greatley appreciated, i want to let her go but i just cant. I know i can make her happy as that is what she needs right now.

[midori]

Hi Tom,

 

It's great that you've found this site and I hope you receive feedback that will help you. Since you're such a frequent visitor, how about registering? It doesn't take long!

 

Cheers,

midori

[FreeMe]

I don't think there's any chance. She's not interested in having a relationship. She's too young. You're making her miserable putting pressure on her. You're putting her in a position that is going to force her to be mean to you. You should leave her alone and let her live her teenage years without pressure from an older guy. Accept what she is saying: she's NOT READY for a relationship. You need to find someone your own age.