dagriz07 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 We broke up a few months ago but have kept contact. There was a short point where we went 10 days without talking, but then she appeared at this place i hang out at, and texted me later that night, and i gave in and we hooked up. Well after we hooked up the feelings came back, and i texted her last night and she ignored me, but texted me this morning, which i ended the conversation short. Its now been 6 hours, and every 10 minutes i look at my phone hoping shell send another text, even though i know she wont. I want to text her and tell her "look, the other night was a mistake as it opened up emotions i didnt want to deal with. I think its best if you dont contact me for a while". Deep down yes, i do want her to be like "oh my god, me too come over and talk", but i got a feeling shes just gonna send a sad face and end the convo, or ignore it completely. Or i could not send anything, but then shell contact me again in a few days, which i dont want since i feel its completely over. Any advice? P.S.- I was the dumper. She lied to me, and i gave her the impression afterwords that i wasnt that hurt by it obviously because we have been talking since the breakup. Mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagriz07 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 Anyones reply would be helpful who went through this. Im weak compared to her, i went ten days feeling great and she contacted me and i made a mistake. I dont want to do it again. I feel as if letting her know will put the ball in my court and she wont contact me. I used NC at first to get her back, but that is not working as i feel like after we hooked up she got this impression she has me on a leash. Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 i was in a similar situation for a while with my ex. The only thing that helped me was telling him that we should not talk anymore and just move on. or get back together and work things out. If he agreed on not contacting anymore then i was able to go about my day without waiting a text or call from him. Or giving in myself. So its nice to just know they wont contact you. But either way my ex would try to contact me at least once a month about something. Still not a good enough excuse or him wanting to get back together with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagriz07 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yea, i know what you went through unfortunately. I keep holding on, and i reached a point where i thought i let go, and was happy. And she purposely came up to this place i hung out at. She knew what she was doing. And from there i broke. There is no way i can accept her back without her understanding her fault, but now since that day, i just want to remember the good times and everytime i tell myself she lied to me, it doesnt matter. Im friggin weak mannnnn, millions of single girls and i cant get this one out of my head. Damn. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I want to text her and tell her "look, the other night was a mistake as it opened up emotions i didnt want to deal with. I think its best if you dont contact me for a while". I think that this is great. What's not great is the response that you want from her is more contact. "come over and talk" WTF? I think a sad face or no reply is exactly what you need actually. You can see that contact is hurting you... so put a stop to it. Do it without blame and explain that keeping in touch isn't serving either of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 i dont know how fresh your breakup is. but i let my ex come back and forth for about a yr. SO yeah i was weak for a long time. But eventually i realized that he was going to just keep breaking promises and keep hurting me. my breaking point actually was when he got another girl involved. Not sure if they were officially dating or if they still together. but he was talking to her and me at the same time. acting somewhat interested in me. so yeah I felt betrayed. this situation was actually worse then the actual breakup Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagriz07 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 i sent it. And she instant responds "Ah i can but thats not what i want.. i still have feelings for you. i can't hide it" Oh boy. Dont believe shes sincere at all. If she was she would have made a better effort after i broke up with her. Now i dont know what to send back because she will reach out to me when shes lonely. This i know. When i was downstairs she still had all our pictures up and my clothes on her couch. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 i sent it. And she instant responds "Ah i can but thats not what i want.. i still have feelings for you. i can't hide it" Oh boy. Dont believe shes sincere at all. If she was she would have made a better effort after i broke up with her. Now i dont know what to send back because she will reach out to me when shes lonely. This i know. When i was downstairs she still had all our pictures up and my clothes on her couch. still has your clothes on her couch?? I'm really confused.. you broke up with her, but she should of made more of an effort after you broke up?? So were you just testing her? I'm confused. Do you want a relationship with her or not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagriz07 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 My clothes from a long time ago i didnt know she had. And i broke up with her because she lied. I love this girl and after we broke up she told me she needs me and this and that, so we started trying to work things out slowly, but i expected a litte more effort on her part to show me she wont hurt me again, and i guess i feel her attempt was weaker than what it could have been. So she goes to some wedding, doesnt text me for three days and i ignored her text because i was mad and felt at the time NC was the best, which i continued for 10 days before she showed up. Apparently she sent me something during that time i didnt recieve to go to a concert with her but she didnt get a response cause i never receieved it. I'd love to be with her, i love her. But thats where this situation comes into play. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 what did she lie to you about? so, the break-up was a test? and she is failing? Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 seems like she is not taking you seriously. I would just ignore the text message. Or meet up and actually talk, and tell her that if she wants to be with you things need to change and set some boundries. If they dont then break it off for good. I dont know what else to tell you. My ex broke up with me as well but kept contact. I changed the things that he wanted me to change cuz i wanted to be with him. But as hard as i tried he didnt accept it. SO i just let it go. Then in the end im thinking that those were not even the reasons for the breakup. But whatever. If you feel like she is not trying then there is no reason to let her back in 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagriz07 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 I guess it was a test. She lied about something she did after i dropped her off. I guess it goes along with that saying "Dont comfort me with a lie, hurt me with the truth" I feel like she lied so i wouldnt get upset, but it was pretty big deal to me. Unfortunately i already had emotions invested, so its not easy to just be like "ooo on to the next one!" Yea a test per se. Wanted her to tell me how she messed up, promise it wont happen again, understands that its worse to get caught in a lie than to tell me the truth, because i can get over the truth, hurts alot worse when i find out something different. But instead, she tells me how much she needs me because every guy she meets she compares to me. Messed up thing is ive met 3 different girls who were totally into me, and i ended up comparing them to her haha. God its screwed up. Dont know if shes sincere or not i guess Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 explain that, just what you said to us to her. you know she lied, tell her how you expected her to tell the truth, and next time for her to confront you and do just that. or just better not do it again. Cuz if you dont and you want her back you will only make the situation even worse Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 explain that, just what you said to us to her. you know she lied, tell her how you expected her to tell the truth, and next time for her to confront you and do just that. or just better not do it again. Cuz if you dont and you want her back you will only make the situation even worse Yes just tell her what you want/expect don't play games. Link to post Share on other sites
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