Mark_MI Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 We've been together about 11 months. We had or ups and downs. I held my real feelings from her for awhile cause I was scared of getting hurt. I used to get upset about stupid things because I was/am insecure and have been hurt a lot by family/friends/ex's. She kept telling me she wanted space, but I felt she just wanted to breakup. So I would get more worried upset/scared/angry. So I cooled down, went to see a shrink to help me work out my insecurities because it affects other areas of my life too. We are not broken up, yet not together. I guess I shouldn't try to label us. I still see her once or twice a week, but there's distance. I feel initiate all our contact. I feel she doesn't care anymore, but says she does. I just see no effort on her side. I'm really trying to be patient and not push...it's hard. She knew I was supposed to get medical results from a test yesterday, but never bothered to ask. So I felt hurt and told her she just doesn't care about me (a mistake i'm sure). She said she does, she's confused and having a hard time. Says she doesn't know what it is, but she cares about me but something is holding her back. I hate games, I don't want to play the NC game, but I feel I have no choice. I guess if she wants to be with me or try to work things out...she will call? Or at least officially breakup so I can move on? I'm just sitting here in limbo. I really don't want to breakup...I've been working on myself a lot lately both physically and mentally. Just not sure what to do as far as contact. I feel if I go NC, it says that I don't care. But, I feel if I contact her, maybe I'm bugging her and pushing her away? Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I don't want to play the NC game, but I feel I have no choice. Well, NC isn't a game. It's a very effective tool to help you heal and move on. Look, you know the old addage,"you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." That's where you're at right now. And the fact that she says she's confused; that's a red flag for me. Normally, it means that she's confused about feelings she's having for you.....and feelings she's having for someone else. That's usually why they want "space". To see if this other dude is a possibility. If not, she has you as the back up plan and stringing you along in this holding pattern of "needing space". I could be wrong on this....but, my gut is telling me I'm right. You might need to look outside the box and see if this is a possibility. You deserve the truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 exactly what Chi said. this girl told you she wants "space". she means she doesn't want to be with you, but she won't just flat out tell you. she wants space, give her space, and cut her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_d Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 +2, follow your Chi-T Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mark_MI Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 (edited) I hear what you are all saying, but what is strange...and maybe I'm blind, but we still hangout. I saw her thurs, sat and sunday (at her parents). Yet any time I bring us up, I get the I'm confused and she's quiet. So I dont really know if there is another guy. It seems more like she is afraid to get back with me cause I will hurt her again. She is afraid we will go back to the attitude and fights and she is scared and doesnt want that. She said this the other...a week ago. But...if you are all right. What do I do if she contacts me? She will want to know why I'm not responding. I can't accuse her of the unknown. She also has stuff at my house. She put her bed in my house a last month before she ended up moving back to her parents. I think I hurt her by not asking her to move in...cause I was unsure. Edited September 18, 2012 by Mark_MI Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_d Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 search for keywords "emotional tampon" here on the site, more will be revealed Link to post Share on other sites
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