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My ex says he's in love with someone else in a week??


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 3rd September 2012, 11:27 AM   #1
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My ex says he's in love with someone else in a week??

This is my first time posting on here. I'm just in need of some advice and insight into what's happening. I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We lived together and he has a 6 year old boy whom I love like my own. We broke up about 6 weeks ago and I moved out. Since then we were trying to work things out. I love him and want to be with him but we had issues that we had to get through. I found out he hooked up with another girl while we were broken up and it devastated me. He still told me I love you I was trying to move on. Up until a week ago he begged me every single day to come home. He told me he wants to marry me and we are meant to be and I told him I needed time. Within 3 days he was back with the girl he hooked up with a few weeks ago and she was meeting his son (that took him 6 months to do with me). And now he's posting how much he loves her on facebook already (I cant see his facebookk my friends told me)It's been a week!! I am so hurt that he could replace me so fast. Could he really love her that fast???
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Old 3rd September 2012, 11:33 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye2424 View Post
This is my first time posting on here. I'm just in need of some advice and insight into what's happening. I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We lived together and he has a 6 year old boy whom I love like my own. We broke up about 6 weeks ago and I moved out. Since then we were trying to work things out. I love him and want to be with him but we had issues that we had to get through. I found out he hooked up with another girl while we were broken up and it devastated me. He still told me I love you I was trying to move on. Up until a week ago he begged me every single day to come home. He told me he wants to marry me and we are meant to be and I told him I needed time. Within 3 days he was back with the girl he hooked up with a few weeks ago and she was meeting his son (that took him 6 months to do with me). And now he's posting how much he loves her on facebook already (I cant see his facebookk my friends told me)It's been a week!! I am so hurt that he could replace me so fast. Could he really love her that fast???
I'm not really experienced in all of this so take everything I say with a grain of salt. Short answer, no. Love is about accepting someone completely for who they are, accepting both their qualities and flaws. You simply can't know enough about anyone in a week to love them. You might think you do, but it's not real love. It sounds to me like he's trying to convince himself tht the girl he is hooking up with is the one for him. Maybe he opened up to her about u and she was really understanding and now he's confusing tht comfort she offered for love?

From a guy's perspective, or at least mine, I could never hook up with someone else so quickly after a 3 year relationship with someone I loved. Let alone then again 3 days after telling them how much I loved them. If that's what this guy is like, then u deserve better.

Last edited by greyworld; 3rd September 2012 at 11:43 AM..
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Old 3rd September 2012, 12:29 PM   #3
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Well thanks. That's what my friends and family say but I really truly love him. I thought we could make it through anything and this was just temporary. Now I find myself not wanting to eat or sleep and I feel completely rejected. I can't believe he replaced me so fast and made it so public. It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to get thru
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Old 3rd September 2012, 12:47 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkeye2424 View Post
This is my first time posting on here. I'm just in need of some advice and insight into what's happening. I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We lived together and he has a 6 year old boy whom I love like my own. We broke up about 6 weeks ago and I moved out. Since then we were trying to work things out. I love him and want to be with him but we had issues that we had to get through. I found out he hooked up with another girl while we were broken up and it devastated me. He still told me I love you I was trying to move on. Up until a week ago he begged me every single day to come home. He told me he wants to marry me and we are meant to be and I told him I needed time. Within 3 days he was back with the girl he hooked up with a few weeks ago and she was meeting his son (that took him 6 months to do with me). And now he's posting how much he loves her on facebook already (I cant see his facebookk my friends told me)It's been a week!! I am so hurt that he could replace me so fast. Could he really love her that fast???

This sounds hauntingly like the situation with my son's dad... my son just turned 7, though, but the rest mirrors it to a T. I was furious with my son's dad for having such bad judgment (in regards to my son being upset over the loss of a woman who he came to know and was very fond of) and then the following week being introduced to a new woman. It's just so thoughtless and careless of his dad to behave this way. (His dad and I haven't been together for most of our son's life).

In regards to your ex, it looks like he is looking for happiness in all the wrong places. And no, there is absolutely no way he can love someone else so soon. It just isn't possible. He sounds like a real fool.

I think this hits too close to home for me to give any real advice. Reading your post stirred up a lot of emotions for me. However, having been where you are at one time back when my son's dad and I were having major issues after the birth, and trying to work things out... suddenly he fell of the radar and started seeing someone else (without my knowledge, because I had moved out). It was sickening and gut-wrenching. I tried to get him back, but ended up causing myself more pain by doing so. Don't fight for him. You obviously have a better moral compass than he does, and while the loss is understandably very hard for you, take time to heal and move on. Do not fight for this man, he is not worth it.
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Old 3rd September 2012, 12:59 PM   #5
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In addition, people like these, it seems to me, get high off of new romantic attachments. Once they settle into the situation, and some issues inevitably arise, they seek to move on to find that new high again. It's sad, because it's NOT love. Love is not about what another person can give you.

What a powerful delusion.

Last edited by venusianx13; 3rd September 2012 at 3:51 PM..
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Old 3rd September 2012, 4:34 PM   #6
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Thank you for your advice. I know the fact that he's introduced his son to her already has been the hardest part to accept. I love that kid like my own and I really believed this break up was temporary. I lost a whole family in this. I just can't accept he's already in love with someone else because then I'd have to admit he never probably loved me. It's a healing process I know but it's so hard right now. I'm completely confused and heartbroken
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Old 3rd September 2012, 4:47 PM   #7
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Hawkeye, I am so sorry you are going through this tough time in your life.

I myself can tell you that I was once in the same position you where and it wrecked havoc on my life. It will take a lot to get through this, but you will get through this.

Do not waste your time with this person, as he clearly doesn't have a clue what "love" is.. If he moved on so quickly, he must have known that it would cancel out any opportunity of getting back with you, but yet he still did it.

Try to move on, and as hard as it seems to be right now, and trust me when I tell you this, you can move on.. I myself am struggling with something very big as well and have trouble motivating myself through it, but I've been told "I don't love you anymore.".. Only to have them running back afterwards sorry, now I'm not saying that this will happen, actually scratch that off your radar completely.

What I am saying is that if you treated him right and gave him love, he will come around and regret it.. And hopefully by then you will have moved on with your life.
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Old 3rd September 2012, 6:19 PM   #8
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I treated him so well. He was laid up for 6 months from a work accident and I moved us into our house, took care of him and his son every single day. I became a mom and I loved him. I just felt that I wasnt appreciated so I left hoping he'd realize what I did and come back to me. I won't say I didn't make mistakes but I gave it my best. I did not expect him to move so fast and act like I never existed. I don't kno how to not feel so rejected. It's so hard to accept this
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Old 3rd September 2012, 9:49 PM   #9
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Ugh, the feeling of being replaced is the WORST. I know it very well, as my ex bf replaced me the same week we broke up. My ex doesn't post anything on facebook, but his new girlfriend does. She posts crap about how he's the perfect man for her, after a week. Its actually kind of funny, because there is no way someone can truly love someone that fast. Everyone who enters a new relationship is happy, thats why they call it the "honeymoon" stage. He has only seen the good in her. Everyone has their faults, and eventually he will see them.
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Old 3rd September 2012, 10:00 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkeye2424 View Post
I treated him so well. He was laid up for 6 months from a work accident and I moved us into our house, took care of him and his son every single day. I became a mom and I loved him. I just felt that I wasnt appreciated so I left hoping he'd realize what I did and come back to me. I won't say I didn't make mistakes but I gave it my best. I did not expect him to move so fast and act like I never existed. I don't kno how to not feel so rejected. It's so hard to accept this

I know its extremely hard to accept, but it does get easier as time passes.
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Old 4th September 2012, 12:07 PM   #11
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I don't want to hold onto the hope that he will regret it and come back but I also don't want to accept that he never loved me and is moving at warp speed with her. I'm really hoping it ends which isn't right. I should wish him happiness and move on but I'm not there yet. I'm too hurt
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