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Hatred & revenge.


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Hi guys, i need opinions.

 

I am stuck in an excruciatingly painful situation. My babys mother has yet again told me that he mat not be mine. She is doing this simply because she is an irrational bitch. I have started legal proceedings, which means a court will order a DNA test be done to determine whether i am the father or not, before any further action is taken. I know he is mine as he is my double, but she is doing this anyway to hurt me.

 

We were together for a few months at the start of last year, then she finished with me leaving me all heartbroken. After 2 months of being "friends" i couldn't pretend anymore, i was in pain & i had to say goodbye. Then 2 months later she texts me saying we need to talk, i instinctively know she is pregnant, & she was 5 months.

 

A few days later i asked her was she seeing anyone whilst pregnant, to which she replied "i can f*** who i want when i want & there is nothing you can do about it!" ... I was livid.

 

During the pregnancy she had sex with an endless stream of men in "free for alls" in a car at the back of a pub, & im sure she did it on other occasions at other places, she did this to spite me for asking if she was seeing anyone, & to show me that she could do what she wants. It is the most damaging thing she did to me, its a cut so deep that it will never heal.

 

Amongst the other things she done: refused to talk to me during the pregnancy, ignored my plea's to feel my baby kicking, wouldnt let me go to a scan, never told me until 10 hours after he was born during which time his picture was all over facebook, i never got a say in choosing his name, she got him christened without even telling me about it, she never put my name on his birth certificate, i never met him until he was 6 weeks old, ive only met him 7 times in over 10 months....the list goes on & on.

 

I will say now, i dont deserve any of this, & i never have. I used to take drugs but i had given up 5 months before i met this girl. I have changed my life around so much & now i am a substance abuse councilor, i help other people get from where ive been to where im at now. The reason i mention the drugs is because she uses it as justification for her behaviour towards me, & she says im still on drugs, i can do a blood test at any time & prove that i dont.

 

I moved away from my home town a few weeks ago to a city 40 miles away. I like it here. It has helped me a lot by giving me career prospects to focus on. It has also helped me deal with the constant pain of knowing what this girl done while she was carrying my baby. Although i will never truely recover unless i get satisfactory revenge.

 

Dont bother telling me that "its her life & her body" & that it was up to her what she done while pregnant, i have heard it all before. It is the way in which she done what she did that is the real killer. She is a disgusting slag & i hate her so much i hope she dies.

 

.

I have been told to move on & be successful, & that thats the best revenge. I am moving on & will be a big success, but it does not change what happened. I still want to cause her pain.

 

The damage she has done to me is internal & permanent, & i am determined to make her suffer for what she has done. She really deserves it.

 

When my son grows up i am going to tell him exactly what his mother done while she was carrying him. I still have the phone with the messages from when she was pregnant including the one that says "i can f*** who i want when i want & you cant do anything about it" .... I realise some people might think this is a petty thing to do, but if it hurts her, so be it.

 

I think i might write a few letters to some of her family who may be enlightened to discover just what kind of girl she is. I want this girl to suffer.

 

Any revenge ideas?

 

Im going to do something regardless of any vocal opposition on here. Imagine you were me & have been put through all this. Ive tried to let go but i cant.

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Here is your revenge.

 

1. IF this turns out to be your child be a GOOD father.

2. Get the best career going that you are happy with

3. Meet another gal

4. Get married

5. Proved a better life for your child then he will choose you

6. Stop caring who or what she does (this is the most important for your moving forward)

 

 

But the most important thing in the long run is you being the best father you can be!

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Here is your revenge.

 

1. IF this turns out to be your child be a GOOD father.

2. Get the best career going that you are happy with

3. Meet another gal

4. Get married

5. Proved a better life for your child then he will choose you

6. Stop caring who or what she does (this is the most important for your moving forward)

 

 

But the most important thing in the long run is you being the best father you can be!

 

I agree with you on this 1...

 

Plus, revenge will only bring you a temporary satisfaction or relief. For the long

run it would be best to Let It Go...And be the best father you can be.

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If you do anything to spite her youre not getting revenge, she's getting satisfaction knowing she got under your skin. As others have said, being happy and not giving a sh*t what she's done is the best revenge.

 

If I were in your shoes I'd be the bigger man and raise your child better than she does. Granted you get some sort of custody. Either way all her sh*t will come out in the wash. If your ex is a b*tch now she'll probably be a b*tch later, at that point your child will know who the better parent is.

 

Don't be a dead beat dad. Fight for your child, but don't fight with your ex.

 

Chances are you're too emotionally enraged right now to listen to us, but seriously dude, don't go down that road.

 

I can't imagine what it'd be like to only see my son the amount you saw yours. I'm grateful I have 50/50 custody. I used to be one mother f*ckin angry dude and I could've easily went down the road you're wanting to. I chose the higher road(I'm in counseling for my anger) and I can tell you I feel way better about myself.

 

Stooping is for losers man.

 

Seriously, f*ck her and get on with getting your child. Don't let this ex of yours turn you into something evil. Don't give her that power/satisfaction!

 

Man I hope you choose wisely....

 

Good luck man.

Edited by hinatticus
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Here is your revenge.

 

1. IF this turns out to be your child be a GOOD father.

2. Get the best career going that you are happy with

3. Meet another gal

4. Get married

5. Proved a better life for your child then he will choose you

6. Stop caring who or what she does (this is the most important for your moving forward)

 

I will be a good father, i would have been already if i had been given a chance.

 

My career is taking off now.

 

I will meet loads of girls.

 

No marraige, i am becoming a full time player, no one girl will ever be given the power to destroy me ever again.

 

I will be the better & more successful parent she will be stuck in her dead end job & i am going places.

 

I dont care what she does now, as i said i wouldnt care if she actually died. It is what she HAS done in the past, when pregnant, that bothers me.

 

But the most important thing in the long run is you being the best father you can be!

 

Of course.

Edited by seany25
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revenge will only bring you a temporary satisfaction or relief. For the long

run it would be best to Let It Go

 

It may be best to let it go, & healthier for me to let it go...but i have tried to let it go, & it wont go away, it is always gunna be there, i have even moved away for a new start (which has helped) but it will never change what she done.

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If you do anything to spite her youre not getting revenge, she's getting satisfaction knowing she got under your skin. As others have said, being happy and not giving a sh*t what she's done is the best revenge.

 

Seriously, how can i not give a sh*t when the damage is already done? It is always gunna be in my mind, the images of her doing what she did while carrying my baby. She is a horrible human being.

 

She would hardly get satisfaction if she is hurting.

 

If I were in your shoes I'd be the bigger man and raise your child better than she does. Granted you get some sort of custody. Either way all her sh*t will come out in the wash. If your ex is a b*tch now she'll probably be a b*tch later, at that point your child will know who the better parent is.

 

Don't be a dead beat dad. Fight for your child, but don't fight with your ex.

 

I am gunna fight for my child yeah, & i do know i AM the better person anyway.

 

Chances are you're too emotionally enraged right now to listen to us, but seriously dude, don't go down that road.

 

I have been taught very harsh lessons in the past year & a half, & i have had all the emotional turmoil one person could possibly have, more than i could ever have imagined. I am a sane, emotionally intact professional guy, but she does not deserve to go unpunished for what she has done.

 

I can't imagine what it'd be like to only see my son the amount you saw yours. I'm grateful I have 50/50 custody. I used to be one mother f*ckin angry dude and I could've easily went down the road you're wanting to. I chose the higher road(I'm in counseling for my anger) and I can tell you I feel way better about myself.

 

I have had no choice but to deal with all the sh*t that has come my way, & continues to come my way. I dont need counseling, ironically counceling is part of what my job is lol... The only anger i have is for her & what she has done, it is so great that i would be happy to take it out on the people closest to her too, there is plenty to go around.

 

Stooping is for losers man.

 

Seriously, f*ck her and get on with getting your child. Don't let this ex of yours turn you into something evil. Don't give her that power/satisfaction!

 

I know this makes sense, but it wouldnt be power to her, she would lose.

 

Man I hope you choose wisely....

 

Good luck man.

 

Any thoughts on me telling my son?

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Any thoughts on me telling my son?

 

Well, if I were in your shoes... The only time I would tell my son about any of this is if she was being a bad parent and it was obvious. Bad mouthing the mother will only make you look bad and petty. I'm telling you man, her dirty laundry WILL come out in the wash. Unless she takes a hard look at herself she won't change. Your son, in time will see this behaviour.

 

The part where you said she shouldn't go unpunished is wrong thinking man. I was mister revenge. It wasn't an eye for an eye with me, it was you take my eye and I'll take both your eyes and then some! I'm telling you man, everyone could use counseling, everyone, even counselors. Or at the very least read up on self help. Stuff that changes your behaviour and core beliefs. I'll be the first to admit I didn't need counseling or books, but for the past 6 months that's what I've been doing. It seriously helps man. I'm not trying to make you do something you don't want to do. It will only work if you want to. You gotta let go of this revenge. I would say you should forgive her(not to her face, but to yourself), but I don't think you're anywhere near that state of mind. The reason I say this is because once you do you won't be dwelling on her idiotic past.

 

How good would you feel if you everyone found out the type of girl your ex is without you saying a word, all the while you were bettering yourself and trying to be the best person possible? That's healthy revenge, if there is such a thing. Nobody likes a person that says I told you so... They will find out eventually.

 

Oh ya, one more thing.. Don't become a full time player. That won't be good for your son. Your son won't want to see his dad with a different girl each week and possibly several half siblings. Not cool.

 

So what are you going to do?

Edited by hinatticus
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SoConfusedAndInShock

"Vengeance is mine; I will repay" says the Lord...so leave it be my friend. life takes its course and doesn't need any of our help.

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weallfalldown

sounds like a dirty trampy little scrubber............i hope the kid aint yours....

 

if it is, take her to court over responsibility.....then have the child on a regular basis, but that's ultimatly down to you, or walk away from it all, but then that's wether you can deal with that also?.

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I'm going to stick my neck out here, and tell you that the way you're acting at the moment, puts you on exactly the same level of behaviour as hers.

you will gain nothing from thinking and acting this way.

Not all women are like this, not all women threat men like this and not all women have this kind of mentality.

your mother would be enormously distressed to know you had this objective - to be a player and to act this way.

Son or no son, it's not the kind of role model you want to be to a child....

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weallfalldown

i'm sure the bitterness will subside......

 

And tara maiden....unfortunatley, as women, men do become bitter and resentfull, and rightly so when a lot of women use the maternal concept, and then children in power games, and control....it's high time the laws were changed, we see this everyday, all over the world, and it's disgusting.

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I'm with you, completely on that.

I have experience of this very thing within my family - I am convinced the wife is really mentally ill - and unfortunately, she seems to be passing on the same pattern to her daughter, and both are now treating the husband/father with utter contempt and unspeakable rudeness.

It's utterly criminal.

 

I really am getting fed up with people labelling me a misandrist, militant feminist and man-hater.

I am completely unbiased in these matters, and i think despicable, wantonly cruel and vicious behaviour is completely unacceptable, in either gender.

Harsh I may well be, blunt and to the point, yes, very occasionally.

But misandrist?

Absolutely not.

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Well, if I were in your shoes... The only time I would tell my son about any of this is if she was being a bad parent and it was obvious. Bad mouthing the mother will only make you look bad and petty. I'm telling you man, her dirty laundry WILL come out in the wash. Unless she takes a hard look at herself she won't change. Your son, in time will see this behaviour.

 

i dont plan to be badmouthing her at every opportunity, & i dont want to be seen as a petty dickhead either, but i see myself one day telling him what she done.

 

The part where you said she shouldn't go unpunished is wrong thinking man. I was mister revenge. It wasn't an eye for an eye with me, it was you take my eye and I'll take both your eyes and then some! I'm telling you man, everyone could use counseling, everyone, even counselors. Or at the very least read up on self help. Stuff that changes your behaviour and core beliefs. I'll be the first to admit I didn't need counseling or books, but for the past 6 months that's what I've been doing. It seriously helps man. I'm not trying to make you do something you don't want to do. It will only work if you want to. You gotta let go of this revenge. I would say you should forgive her(not to her face, but to yourself), but I don't think you're anywhere near that state of mind. The reason I say this is because once you do you won't be dwelling on her idiotic past.

 

I dont even want to forgive her, she has done such a wrong thing & it is unforgivable. I know i should try & forgive/let it go for my own good, but you are right, i am nowhere near that state of mind & it seems impossible.

 

I cant let my revenge go, not right now, & maybe not ever, until i actually have some revenge. Whether or not revenge is the answer, or if it helps me, it will give me some satisfaction that she got commupance for what she did.

 

I am always improving & bettering myself & my life/career, it is just this deep hurt she has caused me that is my only problem, as well as forcing me to go through court etc, she is a bastard.

 

How good would you feel if you everyone found out the type of girl your ex is without you saying a word, all the while you were bettering yourself and trying to be the best person possible? That's healthy revenge, if there is such a thing. Nobody likes a person that says I told you so... They will find out eventually.

 

I know this is the best way, but im just soooooo angry at EVERYthing she has done & continues to do. I have said some things via facebook that she has seen where insiuate that im not done with this (she aint my friend on it & has me blocked but still stalks my page or gets someone else to stalk it) i dont say her name but she knows the message is for her. And yes, i WANT her to know im not done, i hope she is scared but being the spiteful heartless tramp she is she probably wont be.

 

Oh ya, one more thing.. Don't become a full time player. That won't be good for your son. Your son won't want to see his dad with a different girl each week and possibly several half siblings. Not cool.

 

Whats not cool about having a stream of beautiful women in my life? This is another reaction to what my ex has done to me, i will show that bitch just what an amazing life & gorgeous women i can have without her. There wont be half siblings, a girl will have to be pretty damn spectacular for me to settle with her.

 

So what are you going to do?

 

I do not know yet. I am waiting on a phonecall about work, & i have a presentation on drugs & society im working on for a local anti-drug project im doing with the police, i can focus on that.

 

Plus im seeing my solicitor on friday to sign some forms about getting the court proceedings started.

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sounds like a dirty trampy little scrubber............i hope the kid aint yours....

 

if it is, take her to court over responsibility.....then have the child on a regular basis, but that's ultimatly down to you, or walk away from it all, but then that's wether you can deal with that also?.

 

I know he is mine, he is my spitting image.

 

Walk away? Now? After everything i have been through? Not a chance. Plus it is not in my nature to walk away from my child. She would love me to walk away, but i wont.

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I'm going to stick my neck out here, and tell you that the way you're acting at the moment, puts you on exactly the same level of behaviour as hers.

 

Its her that has done this to me, im not normally a vengeful person & i usually let things slide pretty quickly because holding on to anger only hurts the person holding it, but this is anger AND pain.

 

you will gain nothing from thinking and acting this way.

 

If she hurts, i will gain something, i know thats not very noble, but like i said she does not deserve an ounce of respect or forgiveness, ask any male you know how they would feel if this was done to them or if they would be cool with it & i assure you the answer will be a resounding no.

 

Not all women are like this, not all women threat men like this and not all women have this kind of mentality.

 

She has taught me very harsh lessons & whether women are like this or not, a girl will never be able to do anything even close to this to me again. She is one in a million for all the wrong reasons.

 

your mother would be enormously distressed to know you had this objective - to be a player and to act this way.

Son or no son, it's not the kind of role model you want to be to a child....

 

How aint it cool to show my son that he can have beautiful women in his life? He wont be a womaniser, thats not what this is about, i have a rule - to leave women better than i found them. I can also teach him to avoid the mental retards like his mother, although obviously i cant actually use her as an example to him.

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She has made me despise her so much that I actually hope this woman dies.

 

And no, I won't "regret saying that" someday, or anything like that, she has crossed so many lines now & I have no feeling towards her except complete & utter hatred. I really loved this girl, but there is no way back now, & my feelings towards her - even as the mother of my child - are nothing but resentment. If she died I wouldn't feel a thing. There is absolutely no way I will ever forgive or forget her for what she has done to me & I hate her for making me this way.

 

This, is what she has done to me.

 

Bastard.

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seany... you may find this very hard to believe right now, but I will tell you the absolute , undeniable truth:

 

If you choose the path of revenge, you will later regret it.

 

If you choose the path to be true to your own standards, and not deviate from them, fulfillment will come from within. Be the better person, and have satisfaction knowing that no person will have the power to make you act outside of your own standards.

 

I have chosen the path of revenge before. So I can honestly say without hesitation that it is the wrong path for anyone, regardless of the circumstances.

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What I find disturbing is that his previous post was 9 days ago. He's waited 9 days to just come back in and keep airing his hatred.

That is so unhealthy - and does his child the worst possible harm, because trust me when you feel that vehement about someone - you transmit it.

Kids pick up, they're not dumb - and they'll either follow suit - or end up hating you.

 

hatred is poisonous - it's toxic, insidious, and destructive, and no good has ever, ever come of it.

 

Ever.

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What I find disturbing is that his previous post was 9 days ago. He's waited 9 days to just come back in and keep airing his hatred.

That is so unhealthy - and does his child the worst possible harm, because trust me when you feel that vehement about someone - you transmit it.

Kids pick up, they're not dumb - and they'll either follow suit - or end up hating you.

 

hatred is poisonous - it's toxic, insidious, and destructive, and no good has ever, ever come of it.

 

Ever.

 

seany... you may find this very hard to believe right now, but I will tell you the absolute , undeniable truth:

 

If you choose the path of revenge, you will later regret it.

 

If you choose the path to be true to your own standards, and not deviate from them, fulfillment will come from within. Be the better person, and have satisfaction knowing that no person will have the power to make you act outside of your own standards.

 

I have chosen the path of revenge before. So I can honestly say without hesitation that it is the wrong path for anyone, regardless of the circumstances.

 

I know that hatred is poisonous, but its not like I want this, what she did has internally damaged me & that's where it comes from, this cut is so deep that I think it is permanent damage. I know I will never be able to forgive her, I could probably lie to myself & to everyone that I have forgiven her - & some days recently I actually (for a short while) thought i would be able to let it go - but it always creeps back into my head when I think about everything she has done & that absolutely unforgivable disgusting "revenge" act that she did to me while she was pregnant with my child.

 

There was a time when I would have done anything for her or done anything to make her my girl, but if she asked me now to make another go of it with her I would tell her I'd prefer turning gay or dying of aids. There is a quote that sums up how I feel about her - "from the deepest desire, to the deadliest hate"

 

Oh, as for my son picking up bad vibes & stuff, its not very likely seeing as yesterday marked exactly 4 months from the last time I seen him, & even that was only for 10 minutes when she was "passing through town"

 

I am being forced to go through court now in order to gain contact with my kid. How am I meant to find peace when I have got so much more sh*t ahead of me? With HER the cause of it all!!

 

That, along with everything she did, as well as the first year of my child's life that I missed out on, & countless other bad things I havnt had time to mention, gives me justified reasons to despise her & hope for her demise. I know its not right, but what the fu*k am I supposed to do with all this bad energy she has filled me with?

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I think you need serious therapy...

No really, you do. This kind of feeling is obsessive and to be honest, not common - or natural, even....

 

The *bad energy* is actually being generated by you, not her.

The way you feel about her - is being propelled and perpetuated by you.

hard as it may be to believe - it's a Choice.

 

“We are alive. We are human, with good and bad in us. That's all we know for sure. We can't create a new species or a new world. That's been done. Now we have to live within those boundaries . What are our choices? We can despair and curse, and change nothing. We can choose evil like our enemies have done and create a world based on hate. Or we can try to make things better.”

 

Holocaust survivor.

 

Choose.

Choose now, before you murder your soul.

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I think you need serious therapy...

No really, you do. This kind of feeling is obsessive and to be honest, not common - or natural, even....

 

It may not be a normal way of thinking, but she created this.

 

The *bad energy* is actually being generated by you, not her.

The way you feel about her - is being propelled and perpetuated by you.

hard as it may be to believe - it's a Choice.

 

 

Choose.

Choose now, before you murder your soul.

 

I know its a choice.

 

I know i sould forget, for my own sanity.

 

But late at night when im alone with my thoughts, it all creeps back in & gives me an overwhelming sense of sadness which turns to rage, at all the things i have lost, like the simple privelige of feeling my baby kicking in the womb, which wasn't a small thing to me.

 

I have missed the first year of my sons life, & i will never get this time back, this kills me inside. My friend made a good point yesterday that i should not worry about that because i have his whole life ahead of me - which is true - but you wouldn't understand unless it actually happened to you, if it did you would see its not so easy to just let it go

 

I hate this girl so much that i hate everyone in her life too, her family, friends, & anyone else who knows or assosiates with her.

 

Right now despise her, & i hate her, & i only wish her pain.

 

I will never be able to forgive her for any of it, she doesnt even deserve any forgiveness. I honestly wouldn't care if she died. Thats how deeply she has scarred me.

 

I hate that she has made me feel this way towards not only another person, but to the mother of my child.

 

I hope i find peace.

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You need therapy to help you overcome this anger.

 

I have to tell you, as a parent myself, you MUST find a way to never badmouth or in any way denigrate the other parent to your child.

 

When you put down your son's mother to him? Psychologically your son internalizes that as you putting HIM down. You're doing psychological damage to your son anytime you say anything negative about his mother.

 

Find ways to vent or get help -- but NEVER let your son hear you talk about his mother that way.

 

Believe me, my ex-H is a total psycho, but you'd have to pull my fingernails out before I'd ever say one bad thing about him around our son!

 

If you love your son --- and I know you do -- you will find a way to make peace with his mother and at least APPEAR to be on friendly terms with her, her family and friends. Unfortunately your feelings will always have to be secondary now -- this is about HIM and what's in his best interests..... not what feels the most satisfying to you in the moment.

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Hi guys, i need opinions.

 

I am stuck in an excruciatingly painful situation. My babys mother has yet again told me that he mat not be mine. She is doing this simply because she is an irrational bitch. I have started legal proceedings, which means a court will order a DNA test be done to determine whether i am the father or not, before any further action is taken. I know he is mine as he is my double, but she is doing this anyway to hurt me.

 

We were together for a few months at the start of last year, then she finished with me leaving me all heartbroken. After 2 months of being "friends" i couldn't pretend anymore, i was in pain & i had to say goodbye. Then 2 months later she texts me saying we need to talk, i instinctively know she is pregnant, & she was 5 months.

 

A few days later i asked her was she seeing anyone whilst pregnant, to which she replied "i can f*** who i want when i want & there is nothing you can do about it!" ... I was livid.

 

During the pregnancy she had sex with an endless stream of men in "free for alls" in a car at the back of a pub, & im sure she did it on other occasions at other places, she did this to spite me for asking if she was seeing anyone, & to show me that she could do what she wants. It is the most damaging thing she did to me, its a cut so deep that it will never heal.

 

Amongst the other things she done: refused to talk to me during the pregnancy, ignored my plea's to feel my baby kicking, wouldnt let me go to a scan, never told me until 10 hours after he was born during which time his picture was all over facebook, i never got a say in choosing his name, she got him christened without even telling me about it, she never put my name on his birth certificate, i never met him until he was 6 weeks old, ive only met him 7 times in over 10 months....the list goes on & on.

 

I will say now, i dont deserve any of this, & i never have. I used to take drugs but i had given up 5 months before i met this girl. I have changed my life around so much & now i am a substance abuse councilor, i help other people get from where ive been to where im at now. The reason i mention the drugs is because she uses it as justification for her behaviour towards me, & she says im still on drugs, i can do a blood test at any time & prove that i dont.

 

I moved away from my home town a few weeks ago to a city 40 miles away. I like it here. It has helped me a lot by giving me career prospects to focus on. It has also helped me deal with the constant pain of knowing what this girl done while she was carrying my baby. Although i will never truely recover unless i get satisfactory revenge.

 

Dont bother telling me that "its her life & her body" & that it was up to her what she done while pregnant, i have heard it all before. It is the way in which she done what she did that is the real killer. She is a disgusting slag & i hate her so much i hope she dies.

 

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I have been told to move on & be successful, & that thats the best revenge. I am moving on & will be a big success, but it does not change what happened. I still want to cause her pain.

 

The damage she has done to me is internal & permanent, & i am determined to make her suffer for what she has done. She really deserves it.

 

When my son grows up i am going to tell him exactly what his mother done while she was carrying him. I still have the phone with the messages from when she was pregnant including the one that says "i can f*** who i want when i want & you cant do anything about it" .... I realise some people might think this is a petty thing to do, but if it hurts her, so be it.

 

I think i might write a few letters to some of her family who may be enlightened to discover just what kind of girl she is. I want this girl to suffer.

 

Any revenge ideas?

 

Im going to do something regardless of any vocal opposition on here. Imagine you were me & have been put through all this. Ive tried to let go but i cant.

 

Well it is her life and her body, however, you can transmit STDs to the baby.. that's quite irresponsible. Judging by your post, she probably wasn't using condoms, so I can see why it would make you mad.

 

The best "revenge" is to be successful and limit contact with her. And from now on, wear a condom.

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During the pregnancy she had sex with an endless stream of men in "free for alls" in a car at the back of a pub

 

What a depressing scenario. She sounds like Tralala from Last Exit to Brooklyn. Do you have actual evidence of this, or is it just hearsay from people who may not be prepared to back their gossip up with witness statements?

 

 

When my son grows up i am going to tell him exactly what his mother done while she was carrying him. I still have the phone with the messages from when she was pregnant including the one that says "i can f*** who i want when i want & you cant do anything about it" .... I realise some people might think this is a petty thing to do, but if it hurts her, so be it.

 

I think i might write a few letters to some of her family who may be enlightened to discover just what kind of girl she is. I want this girl to suffer.

 

Any revenge ideas?

 

Im going to do something regardless of any vocal opposition on here. Imagine you were me & have been put through all this. Ive tried to let go but i cant.

 

All I can say is that if you remain set on revenge, then I wouldn't want to be the solicitor you're seeing...because I'm afraid that your current perception of this, however justified you feel it is, would make me wonder how I was ever going to portray you as a good, responsible parent to a court. Particularly if there were a strong likelihood on you following through with any of these threats.

 

The most likely scenario I can see would be that social services would get involved and report back to the court that neither of you were terribly ideal parents. I realise you're angry about this, but the more inclined you are to act on that anger the less likely it is that you will be successful in any court action.

 

Before you see your solicitor, write down a list of these matters so he or she is fully informed of the ways in which she's been an unfit parent. Do you have evidence of the gang bang scenario? Evidence might include people who witnessed it who would be prepared to make statements about it.

 

She sounds extremely dysfunctional, and frankly I'm surprised social services aren't already involved. However, from what you've described of your own behaviour it doesn't sound as though court proceedings would go too well for you.

 

I know this is the best way, but im just soooooo angry at EVERYthing she has done & continues to do. I have said some things via facebook that she has seen where insiuate that im not done with this (she aint my friend on it & has me blocked but still stalks my page or gets someone else to stalk it) i dont say her name but she knows the message is for her. And yes, i WANT her to know im not done, i hope she is scared

 

The likelihood is that she'll be taking screenshots of things you've said on Facebook... and since you're confident that she'll know the message is for her, and hope that she's afraid, it seems likely that a court would see your Facebook comments as threats. Which will do you no good.

 

If you don't get some sort of control over your anger and vengefulness here (and it sounds like anybody trying to help you do that would have their work cut out) then the chances of you ever convincing a court that you should have contact with your son sound minimal. The fact that you feel intensely provoked will cut no ice with a court....so you'd better disabuse yourself very quickly of the notion that being angry entitles you to embark on a vengeful path.

 

Your son's welfare should be your top priority. Who, with a child's welfare uppermost in their mind, would be looking forward to telling that child "your mother let herself be gangbanged behind a pub while she was pregnant with you"? What possible benefit could be served to the child by hearing that? It sounds like you've got a long way to go before you'd approach the parenting role in a responsible "the child's welfare before my need for vengeance and spleen-venting" way.

 

I'm guessing just from what you've said on this thread that there's already a fair bit of damning evidence against you...and you'd better tell your solicitor exactly what you've told us here (eg the Facebook messages you've left that she's seen and may have taken screenshots of), because they need to know exactly what obstacles they might be up against at a later date. If you don't get a grip of yourself soon, you can forget about having any credibility in a courtroom. I don't mean this to wind you up, but you need to be clear about how a court would perceive the things you've described. They won't take a sympathetic (to you) stance about veiled threats on Facebook pages just because you felt provoked. I can guarantee you that.

Edited by Taramere
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