M.I.A. (sorta)

[The Tallest One]

Maybe an odd title but what I want to talk about or ask I guess is how many of you have deleberately taken a good long break from dating after a painful breakup?

 

I want to take some time to work on me, sort of rediscover myself if that makes any sense! I've emotionally been through the ringer and I also need to get my life together since it started falling apart about four years ago.

 

I'm going to join the local YMCA, for not only to keep active but also to see if it might open up my social circle which twindled from when I was married. Anything to get me out of the house. What types of things have people done, read, or witnessed after a breakup that has helped them not only heal, but also help them socially?

 

Thanks all!

[salmagundi]

For me, the two best things that have been helping me the most with dealing with our breakup have been 1) having a really really social job that takes my mind off when I'm working and surrounds me with people and 2) working out at the gym at the university. A good workout gets the endorphins going in your brain which helps to lift me out of the little funks I get into everyday when I think about what I've lost. I also look and feel better which helps with moving on

[AlexanderJames]

Nice post mate.

In my opinion anybody that successfully comes out of a breakup does so because they do what you have asked here.

 

The single most beneficial thing that people can do to rediscover or find hapiness within themselves is to go M.I.A (sorta) as you put it . Backing out of the dating game is hard for some people who for whatever reason crave and cannot cope without the companionship of a relationship but it has so many benefits.

 

Riding solo allows us to focus on who we are, without the stresses that come with the dating game. We all know the saying "No one can make us happy unless we are happy with ourselves". So take the time to delve deeper into your personal interests and hobbies. Or go out and explore some new ones. Find who you are and what makes you happy. Without women.

 

I havent found many 'new' hobbies since my breakup but I've picked up old ones that I drifted away from while I was dating. I'm back to going to the gym 7 days a week and bulk dieting. That takes up 90% of my time outside of work, setting goals and keeping myself motivated is healthy for the body and the mind. Not to mention my physique has improved 10 fold since. Normally during a breakup people lose weight but I've been the opposite. Definitely got my ex jealous let me tell you haha. I've also got back into dancing. Not only good for the heart and cutting down the fat but the attention that comes from the opposite sex when a male actually knows how to dance is always fun These thigns really boost my self confidence so not only do they help me be content with single life but they make me feel really good about myself too.

[The Tallest One]

So ex gf texts me on Tuesday to say hi! She wanted to know how I was doing and how my life was in general! It's a little over five weeks since she put an end to us seeing each other and I didn't expect to ever hear from her. She wanted to know if it was ok to text me and she said she missed talking to me.

 

After everything she has put me through I didn't really want to answer her questions. She kept asking if I was ok and if she was bothering me. We texted for a while and said she would text me later. Haven't heard from her since. I figure she just wants to know I'm doing well so she won't feel so bad. She can text if she wants, if she doesn't that's fine too cause I'm done with her games!

[AnchordHeart]

So ex gf texts me on Tuesday to say hi! She wanted to know how I was doing and how my life was in general! It's a little over five weeks since she put an end to us seeing each other and I didn't expect to ever hear from her. She wanted to know if it was ok to text me and she said she missed talking to me.

 

After everything she has put me through I didn't really want to answer her questions. She kept asking if I was ok and if she was bothering me. We texted for a while and said she would text me later. Haven't heard from her since. I figure she just wants to know I'm doing well so she won't feel so bad. She can text if she wants, if she doesn't that's fine too cause I'm done with her games!

 

And that is your first breadcrumb my friend! The easiest way to move on is through co contact... or at least thats my personal opinion. I suggest keeping the texting to a minimum if its going to bother you.

[Canadian731]

Taking a break from dating after a breakup is one of the best things you can do for yourself, go to the gym, lose that 10lbs you have been wanting to get rid of. I find that being in a long term relationship can really make us lose our sense of being us, it's so much about the relationship that we don't think about what we want and need. Take this time to spoil yourself, do everything that you couldn't do when you were with her. I find alot of people (especially women) are really dependent on being in a relationship so they will try to find one as soon as the breakup happens or if try are the dumper may already have something in their back pocket. Take the time to reflect and self improve. Also I re recommend the book the dance of anger by Harley lehrner(last name may be spelled different) It really helped me understand how we can get stuck in these same

Fights over an over and not even realize

[The Tallest One]

I love that I have returned to a gym! It's been a while since I worked out and I've been at it since last weekend and it feels so good! I'm not ready or looking for a relationship right now but I like that I'm getting back to doing things for me.

 

It's true how we get lost in a relationship and how we lose touch with our own wants! The only thing about being single that bopthers me is this foolish fear or dread that I'll never find someone like ex gf! I know it's stupid but it's in my head!

 

I won't keep up the texting on my end, she'll lose interest after a while anyways! Just trying to move on even though it's hard not to think about her so much! Grrrr!