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i just need to understand...


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Hi All,

 

I've been dating this guy for the past 3 months and he broke things off abruptly the other day. We have a complicated past, having dated off and on last summer but ended up breaking up over communication problems. I just need some other perspectives as to why he would do this.

 

We started spending time together again about 3 months ago. We saw each other every other week, if that. Then about twice a week for the past month. We had briefly discussed what was going on and he said he hadn't really thought too much about where it was going but enjoyed the time we spent together (mostly eating out or some activity). I think we both approached it as strictly friends at first but open to the possibility of more.

 

He's never been very prompt at returning calls, VMs or texts. Sometimes he would not respond at all. It had been an issue in the past, so I decided to ignore it and not let it bother me. I had no reason to believe he was being dishonest to me and we weren't "together" so it didn't matter anyways if he was dating other girls.

 

So, things have been going really well and although we hadn't kissed or slept together, there was a bit of cuddling and little moments that were sweet and gave the sense of our relationship growing. After 3 months, I decided it was ok for him to spend the night and we had sex. The next morning, we talked about his job interviews and the potential of him moving down south and I asked him to be open with me if and when he knows he's moving. Later on that day while I was at work, I sent a follow up text because I didn't really get to say what I had rehearsed (because I get nervous and it comes out wrong). So I just text him letting him know that I would hate to see him move but wanted what's best for him and supported whatever decision he made. I didn't hear from him all day (at home not working), so about 7 hours later, I sent, "it would be nice if you awknowledged my text." That's where the **** hit the fan and broke up with me over text. He said he was seeing the same behavior as before and that I was chastising him for not responding promptly and he didn't want to see me anymore. He said he was probably leaving town anyways so it wasn't something we should even pursue. He said he wasn't comfortable being around me when we were trying to be more than friends. He said he didn't want that type of behavior in his life and that we should go our separate ways and to leave him alone.

 

I do realize that I should said something more to the affect of "hey did you get my text?" and what I sent was rude. But, I'm baffled by the extent of his response. I'm pretty much done with it all too but I need some insights into what may have happened here and was what I really said that bad to get this reaction? My friends are telling me he just wanted a reason to get out.

 

Thanks

Mandy

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i had a friend who drove me mad with texting - my phone would beep to say i had a text so i was interupted it was jus as bad a phone actually ringing, still had to lug out my phone - it was a niusance am self employed v busy at times

 

do you text like her with her 2000 a month to use all the time 24/7?

 

perhaps he's a douche at fault mind you

Edited by darkmoon
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I text him to make plans or responding to his. Prob once or twice a week. In this case, I had something I wanted to say.

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He wanted to get out of the "relationship" and used your supposed bad behavior as an excuse to end it. And when someone is interested in you, they want to communicate. And if you say something not to their liking, two people communicate that rather than abandon the relationship. Besides, you didn't say anything that would warrant a break-up. He just didn't like you calling him out because this "relationship" has always been on his terms.

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geegirl is absolutely right........

 

...I feel your post mandygirl..........I was recently seeing a guy and things were great at first......he always wanted to be intimate but he would lag on his texts....recently he stopped reply so I waited a few hours only to say "can u reply to my text and stop ignoring me?"

 

He eventually replied and it was rude. At least your ex broke up with u and gave u closure. Mine just STOPPED reply and hasn't for a whole week!

 

It doesn't matter what you say in your text. Even if it upsets them, they should communicate with you and try to work it out...... Not abandon the relationship.

 

And thats why my guy did........he didnt care enough to work out the issue, but instead just STOPPED contacting all together and ran. And my texts did not warrant a break up.

 

this guy doesn't care enough about you, or he would be texting you quicker. Cut him off and let him see who he is missing- then the power will be in your hands.

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