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Too difficult for me to see my Ex-wife at kids games....


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paperboy48

My ex-wife and I both go to our kids (1 boy, 1 girl) baseball games during the week. We sit (stand) near each other. I think this is too hard for me to continue doing this. It is too hard to spend time with her after being rejected, it is too diffcult when I miss her so much...

 

So, I am thinking about asking her if we can start going to the games seperately on the days we each have the kids. I have them Monday & Tuesdays, she has them Wed & Thursdays and we each have them every other Friday.

 

What do you think? Is this fair of my to ask?

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MissBrunette84
My ex-wife and I both go to our kids (1 boy, 1 girl) baseball games during the week. We sit (stand) near each other. I think this is too hard for me to continue doing this. It is too hard to spend time with her after being rejected, it is too diffcult when I miss her so much...

 

So, I am thinking about asking her if we can start going to the games seperately on the days we each have the kids. I have them Monday & Tuesdays, she has them Wed & Thursdays and we each have them every other Friday.

 

What do you think? Is this fair of my to ask?

 

That seems fair to me, if its doing you more harm than good then its probably not healthy for the children to see either. I mean when you feel stronger and feel like it'd hurt less in time maybe you can start going back to all the games again but it is best to heal yourself first too.

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paperboy48

So, I asked in a very nice way if we could go to the kids days only on our designated days. I told her I thought it was for the best for both of us.

 

Her response: If I can make it to their games I am going to go to their games. I can and will be civil to you. I have no issues whatsoever with being at their games if you are there.

 

Ok, but what if I don't want to see you there. Now if I don't go to the games I am giving into her....this sucks

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I agree with your X to an extent. No need to be all dramatic about it.

 

You are making this harder than it needs to be. The solution is very simple. Do not sit with her, do not park next to her, do not look at her, do not talk to her. This is simple basic divorce 101 stuff. Simple as that.

 

If Jr needs you he or she can go to the other bleacher where daddy is sitting.

Simple as that.

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blindesided

This is about your kids - not you & your ex. My ex hates my guts (no idea why - he was the one who left) I make every game I can - we dont sit near each other or speak. He wouldnt dare nor would I suggest we attend games when the other isnt. Nothing would keep me from my child's events. Its not fair to the kids either wondering why mommy or daddy isnt there. You dont have to see her or sit near her & I'm sorry you miss her but suck it up for your kids sake

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StripeyShirt

Trust me when I say that if you do this the only people to lose out will be the kids. My partner stopped seeing his kids at sport for the very same reason, and now they are just angry that they had to suffer because their parents couldnt get on - they will not have the understanding to work out that it is because you are hurting. In their eyes, a decision was made that was nothing to do with them, and on which they were not consulted.

 

In my own situation, it killed me to go and watch my ex with is girlfriend at sporting events, concerts, award ceremonies etc. But I can promise you that the effect is that the kids are well adjusted to the separation and divorce, and love and respect me for hanging in there for theire sake.

 

You may just have to get brave and go anyway.

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