Texting with married ex after almost two years

[Searchin81]

Here's a a brief story.. We were together for a about two years, broke up almost three years ago, Got together again, Broke up again, said he realized he loved me after the break up, compared everyone to me, I wanted him to come crawling back to me and to teach him a lesson.. so i cut him off and went NC by blocking his number, A month after that he met someone new,they moved in together, got engaged in three months then married a few months later Fast Fwd we ran into each other this weekend we didn't speak both were in shock to see each other. So we ended up texting each other. I left a brief remark that was closed ended and didn't invite a discussion. He seemed very talkative well we ended up texting all day. He didn't mention his significant other at all, nor did I ask. He was at work so the other half wasn't around. Our conversation ended.. "no goodnight or no goodbye..no nice to hear from u now get lost".. just seem open ended until the next time. I feel that he will definitely be contacting me again.. i could be wrong.. i hope he does

 

Truth is.. i am still in love with him and there hasn't been a day gone by that i don't think of him. There is so much i wanted to say but i didn't get into anything deep. I wanted to tell him how much I learned and realized since he has been gone

I regret ever going NC. He married this person in haste. I don't know what to think of any of it.

 

Please spare me of telling me not to text him again because i lost him once.. and will never do it again. even if it is just friendship

[wilsonx]

Here's a a brief story.. We were together for a about two years, broke up almost three years ago, Got together again, Broke up again,

 

What happened here????

 

Its not over, that marriage was quick and a settle.

[Searchin81]

to be honest i was being stubborn and difficult over something stupid and i acted immaturely and didnt talk it out

[Searchin81]

well at the time i didn't realize how foolish i was only with hindsight, He tried to reach out to me. I thought i had enough of him. and i kinda wanted him to come back on hand and knee and kiss my butt and tell me how wrong he was and ect.. so stupid now.. but i to was playing power games.. and i realize how dumb that was, please be kind i have punished myself enough for almost 2 years of torture missing him. We even talked months after the second break up.. he told me he loved me and he regreted everthing he did wrong and i was still being stubborn and mean and cut him off. I want him to suffer alittle.. i didnt not expect that a month after that he would run off meet someone new, move in together, then get engaged all in a few months.. then i felt i shouldn't interfere at that time so i never tried to stop him from getting married.. but now my feelings are much more clear.. i don't want to be with out him. I defiantly wasn't perfect in the relationship. Even texting with him after almost two years seemed effortless. We even joked around with each other. He seemed to keep up the texting to when i stopped. I am relived he never said "goodbye" or "nice talking to you" ect.. i think he will contact me again

[wilsonx]

so are you going to wait until he pops a kid out with her? or are you going to do something about it now?

[Searchin81]

what am i supposed to do? what if he really doesn't want me? I have no idea how he feels at this time

[wilsonx]

ASK HIM OUT FOR COFFEE and tell him you were an idiot and you made a mistake, he wants you

 

THERE is going to be a lot of drama and bull **** just deal with it and invite me to your wedding... i want to conga

Edited May 23, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Searchin81]

im afraid he is gonna say no and shoot me down. When we first broke up.. we both told each other we didn't love each other any more, then months later when we talked again he said he regretted everything and that he probably would always love me. so what if he really doesn't love me like that.. who knows.. im scared over that to. What if im just reading into all this and means nothing.. i haven't gotten a text from him in a few days

[Searchin81]

lol well he thought this new person was "the one" to from what a friend told me.. sooo. i know he falls in love quickly.. and the person he married was just out of a relationship to when they met.

One time he said to me "I used to think you were the one, now im not so sure".. thats when we were having our tough times.

 

I think ur tying to get me into trouble lol

Edited May 16, 2012 by Searchin81

[Searchin81]

i also stop and think wow they got married had a wedding, went on a honey moon, overcame their families objections, ect.. why would he give that up for me? That must all mean something..

[wilsonx]

Right!

 

He SETTLED BIG TIME, he knows it, I know it, you know it.

 

You just dont want to do any dirty work

[Searchin81]

its 50/50 there chance you could be right and you could be wrong.

[wilsonx]

i say its 100% chance i am right

 

if I got married in 3 months and my ex comes back and does what you need to do right now, I would dump the retard that married me in 3 months and go back to my ex who I wanted in the first place

 

Would you MARRY A GUY IN 3 months?

[Searchin81]

they got engaged and moved in together in three months, they then got married 8 months later

 

Its all so confusing to me.. his text never mentioned the significant other at all.. i even wished them all the best and he glossed over it.

[wilsonx]

DUH......... now think about WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Searchin81]

so why do you think he ran off and got married so quickly? What propelled this? Did he even think of me? Do u think he did it to try to make me jealous?

[wilsonx]

He was/is pissed off at you, you were/are being an idiot.

 

 

Probably on the jealousy thing (HE WANTED YOU TO WAKE UP), there was a thread here a couple months ago where the guy DID THE SAME EXACT thing he just did.

 

Why dont you talk to him and prove me wrong, ask him for coffee.

 

What if he says yes? You get what you want

 

What if he says no? He wants you to try harder

 

I bet you if you have an emotionally honest conversation with him both back and forth, he will say yes lets take it slow

Edited May 16, 2012 by wilsonx

[Searchin81]

Ummmm what about the wife lol ??? I just feel so torn as to what I should do.. I wished them the best and he thanked me for wishing "us" the best and thats as close as he came to acknowledging it. Do u think he will text me again since our converstation was left hanging?

[wilsonx]

Damnit, do you feel your bouncing one way one day and then another the next day?

 

Like one day you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and the next or a few days later you dont really care?

[Searchin81]

No I want him. I know that but into sure if the feeling is the same on his part. And it's complicated now that he is married. Ya he probably married his rebound but maybe he is really in love..maybe I'm nothing to him now, I have no reason to think that I am something to him..

[wilsonx]

No I want him. I know that but into sure if the feeling is the same on his part. And it's complicated now that he is married. Ya he probably married his rebound but maybe he is really in love..maybe I'm nothing to him now, I have no reason to think that I am something to him..

 

How long have you wanted him for? How many months? Be honest

[Searchin81]

Since we broke up years lol

[wilsonx]

when you are ready, ask him for coffee, you do a little talking, let him talk, i assure you he wants you.

[Searchin81]

What makes you so confident?

[wilsonx]

Im in your ex's shoes right now! I feel the same exact way he does, I have lived his life and understand his feelings and empathize with you and how you feel.