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Expensive Gifts!


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DuchessKaye

I've already made a plot plan on how to break it up with him on June 6th. I'm decided, I figured I really need to be alone and be happy myself. I arrive 10AM, great time for food. I will ask him to go to the restaurant near the airport where we usually eat and there I will drop the whole thing. I plan on treating him a good meal and coffee or something.

I know I will never like to see him again, maybe in the future but really not now.

I don't want to be contacting him again or anything so that's why I want everything done on that day.

 

So basically when we were still hanging out as friends he used to give me random gifts. And on my last birthday in January, he got me a personalized necklace costing 600 euros that he bought from the UK during our trip.

I know I have my name on it, but I'm feeling the need to give it back to him, should I? He can sell it if he wants to or keep it. Or look for another Kaye Honeylet who he can give it to.

 

When he started dating me and when we were out shopping and he saw a nice pair of watches with discounts if you buy it in 2s, he bought a pair, one for and one for him, not that expensive though, just a couple of hundred dollars. They have the same design and style but mine is smaller. That watch has just become his favorite watch, he told me.

 

Also we have a lot of the same clothes. Superman T-Shirts on different colors.

 

He also got us same wall clock that he bought from his trip in North America.

 

He gave me make up and other cosmetic product in February and I haven't opened them all yet. Bags and shoes for girls and some stuffed toys and chocolates that are still on my fridge.

 

What to do with these all?

 

Anyway, I know I've also been generous to him in giving gifts and I don't think he can give them back to me. I have a friend who modified his car and it's sound system and I paid for that as birthday gift to him last month. It was a surprise but he said he liked the changes I made on his car.

 

I don't want anything to keep reminding me of him. I've already deleted our full text message conversation in my phone. I removed his photos and our photos. When I decide to move on, I really would with no looking back. I don't want to be knocking on his door one of these days or nights to give them back to him. What do I do? Should I just throw 'em? Should I put them on the box and then give it to him saying I can't have them anymore? I really can't keep them. I really can't...

 

 

Question: Are we really not allowed to post question on the title like : "What to do with all these expensive gifts?"

I mean, what's so wrong with that? LS automatically removed my title and said it violated the Community Guidelines.

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BewitchedandBothered

Why June 6? Just break up now, since you want to break up; otherwise you are leading him on.

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DuchessKaye
Why June 6? Just break up now, since you want to break up; otherwise you are leading him on.

 

I think it should be done in person... So that's why I have to wait...

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while I admire your want to do it in person, that's almost a month from now... a month of pretending a month of leading him on...

 

you better believe when the moment is done the first thing he's going to think of when the shock and awe is over is "how long has she been planning this?! "

especially if you walk into the restaurant with an arm full of return gifts...

 

I'm now going to have to search your posts to see what went wrong to lead to the plotting, lol... also not a good word either, implies something sinister... :p

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DuchessKaye
while I admire your want to do it in person, that's almost a month from now... a month of pretending a month of leading him on...

 

you better believe when the moment is done the first thing he's going to think of when the shock and awe is over is "how long has she been planning this?! "

especially if you walk into the restaurant with an arm full of return gifts...

 

I'm now going to have to search your posts to see what went wrong to lead to the plotting, lol... also not a good word either, implies something sinister... :p

 

He's 10,000 miles away from me now. I can't just call or e-mail him to say goodbye. So, I really have to wait.

 

Yes, I was about to remove the plot word when I realized it means bad and evilish, and just leave it as plan but LS didn't allow me. I was 10 seconds late to edit it. Haha!

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the same rules don't apply in a LD relationship... just do it over the phone, gently... do it in the evening ( his time ) and not the start of his day... it's kind of like when companies lay off people, they do it n a Friday, so they have the weekend to soak it all in... if you have to plot (plan) then do it for this coming Friday evening...

 

don't wait a month, it's a little cruel...

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DuchessKaye
the same rules don't apply in a LD relationship... just do it over the phone, gently... do it in the evening ( his time ) and not the start of his day... it's kind of like when companies lay off people, they do it n a Friday, so they have the weekend to soak it all in... if you have to plot (plan) then do it for this coming Friday evening...

 

don't wait a month, it's a little cruel...

 

Are you sure that's a great idea? I mean, that would be hard, what if he drop the phone so I couldn't finish all that I have to say cause he doesn't want to hear them? And also, I want these things back to him... I'll just send them?

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he's not going to drop the phone, he'll be glued to it... trust me on that one... just make sure he's at home, not at work, or out running errands... or near sharp objects?

 

if you don't want them, donate them... I have some stuff in the closet from a couple of ex's ago, I'm sure I even have some stuff from the ex before that ex before that ex... it all just kind of blurs together, but maybe that's just me...

 

but yeah, do it now (friday) over the phone... don't wait a month... he's going to know you planned it out...

 

I didn't find any details in your other posts so I don't even know how to comment on what happened... but regardless, now as opposed to later, I'm pretty firm on that... box up his stuff tuck it away, and if it bothers you that much, donate them... but considering you're planning on breaking up with a guy a month from now, I highly doubt a wave of emotions are going to flow through you of you see the stuff, lol...

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DuchessKaye
he's not going to drop the phone, he'll be glued to it... trust me on that one... just make sure he's at home, not at work, or out running errands... or near sharp objects?

 

if you don't want them, donate them... I have some stuff in the closet from a couple of ex's ago, I'm sure I even have some stuff from the ex before that ex before that ex... it all just kind of blurs together, but maybe that's just me...

 

but yeah, do it now (friday) over the phone... don't wait a month... he's going to know you planned it out...

 

I didn't find any details in your other posts so I don't even know how to comment on what happened... but regardless, now as opposed to later, I'm pretty firm on that... box up his stuff tuck it away, and if it bothers you that much, donate them... but considering you're planning on breaking up with a guy a month from now, I highly doubt a wave of emotions are going to flow through you of you see the stuff, lol...

 

I've been posting about him regularly in OTT and Mood Topic. Mmmm...

 

Nothing was wrong except that I don't feel it's healthy anymore.

I've been depressed and frustrated and insecure.

Love is supposed to make us happy, but I'm not.

Well, one minute I am, next minute, I'm not.

I became so inconsistent and I don't like it ...

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there was too many posts to weed through on the other posts you've made, lol... mostly in the generic column or they anything goes columns... :p

 

so the issue is YOUR insecurities, YOUR frustrations brought on by YOUR insecurities? so why are you plotting to break up with him? what is he doing wrong?

 

I'm going to need more details, lol... I'll try looking at your posts again...

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DuchessKaye
there was too many posts to weed through on the other posts you've made, lol... mostly in the generic column or they anything goes columns... :p

 

so the issue is YOUR insecurities, YOUR frustrations brought on by YOUR insecurities? so why are you plotting to break up with him? what is he doing wrong?

 

I'm going to need more details, lol... I'll try looking at your posts again...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/325638-what-do-you-do-when-you-feel-like-you-arent-good-enough

 

Check this out...

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I found another post you had where you talked about him not wanting to be exclusive but he'd get jealous when you'd go out on "dates" with other guys...

the fact that he won't commit tells me you should stick to your plan...

 

BUT, the post that you linked, those are all personal problems with yourself... you shouldn't ever feel like you're not good enough, and if he feels you aren't good enough or of his "class" then ditch him...

 

but solely going off of his reluctance to exclusive or committed to you, dump him on Friday and find someone who will treat you proper and not like a... well, a sperm bank, because as a guy, when we won't commit but plan on seeing you anyways, means we're just in it for the sex...

 

and if you're going to use the breakup as a tool to force him to convince at the notion you'll end things if he won't, that's going to blow up in your face as well...

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Rorschach64

Kaye do you love him? Do you know for a fact he loves you with all his heart? If you said yes then what I believe is your reasons for breaking up with him are totally invalid.

 

If I loved a girl I wouldn't give two craps about the looks, the education and etc! But that's just my little opinion....

 

In any case, I was victim to what you want to do with the break up and I was livid. A call is best if you decide to go through with this.

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DuchessKaye
Kaye do you love him? Do you know for a fact he loves you with all his heart? If you said yes then what I believe is your reasons for breaking up with him are totally invalid.

 

If I loved a girl I wouldn't give two craps about the looks, the education and etc! But that's just my little opinion....

 

In any case, I was victim to what you want to do with the break up and I was livid. A call is best if you decide to go through with this.

 

I love him... But no, I'm not that sure if he loves me the way that I love him.

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Well, while I was with my ex I was also making a lot of gifts to her. She was not coming from a rich family so I wanted her to feel good and not miss anything. Half or even more of her wardrobe is from me.

 

Boots, shoes, sneakers, jeans, underwear, hoodies, sweaters, dresses, jackets, coats, rings, bracelets, necklaces, watches, nice cell phone... She wanted tattoo- so I took her to the best artist to have it done and I paid for it... The list is pretty long.

 

She never asked me to return anything nor did I. My point is what am I supposed to do with all this stuff if she brought it to me? I do not want them back. I gave them to her to try to make her happy while we were together. Your question is pretty silly.

 

What to do with all the gifts is your own business- do not push them back to him UNLESS he asks for that. I am pretty doubtfull he will do that but IF he does it will be out of anger and insecurity.

 

You do not want to be reminded of him and you think you'll achieve this by removing some items from your life? You can do that but can you erase your memories from your mind and heart? NO.

 

So don't be stupid and decide on your own. Put them in a box or give them away to friends, donate them, throw them away. Do not push him like that.

 

You want to break up with him on a nice romantic dinner? You women are so messed up... If you are to stick to your plan and wait until 6 June (wtf???) start drifting away from him right now and show him little by little every day.

 

I hate when a woman has made her mind and acts like everything's alright and all of a sudden, out of the blue- BAM... Yo do not know what you cause by your way of thinking...

 

And one more thing- I am sure you'll regret (well, maybe not regret but something like that) for this man someday. I think you have your eye on someone else already.

 

Please forgive any false suggestions on my side if I am not correct.

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DuchessKaye
So what makes you doubt his love?

 

I don't know. I'm just confused, so that's why I figured that I need some time alone. You know, at first the chemistry was amazing and I was really feeling good, but now, no, it doesn't make me feel good at all. He makes me feel paranoid, he makes me feel like I'm not good enough and it's not healthy. I'm losing sleep, losing time and energy contemplating about us.

I am setting him and myself free, if he comes back to me and if fate leads me back to him then it was meant to be so the saying goes.

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DuchessKaye
Well, while I was with my ex I was also making a lot of gifts to her. She was not coming from a rich family so I wanted her to feel good and not miss anything. Half or even more of her wardrobe is from me.

 

Boots, shoes, sneakers, jeans, underwear, hoodies, sweaters, dresses, jackets, coats, rings, bracelets, necklaces, watches, nice cell phone... She wanted tattoo- so I took her to the best artist to have it done and I paid for it... The list is pretty long.

 

She never asked me to return anything nor did I. My point is what am I supposed to do with all this stuff if she brought it to me? I do not want them back. I gave them to her to try to make her happy while we were together. Your question is pretty silly.

 

What to do with all the gifts is your own business- do not push them back to him UNLESS he asks for that. I am pretty doubtfull he will do that but IF he does it will be out of anger and insecurity.

 

You do not want to be reminded of him and you think you'll achieve this by removing some items from your life? You can do that but can you erase your memories from your mind and heart? NO.

 

So don't be stupid and decide on your own. Put them in a box or give them away to friends, donate them, throw them away. Do not push him like that.

 

You want to break up with him on a nice romantic dinner? You women are so messed up... If you are to stick to your plan and wait until 6 June (wtf???) start drifting away from him right now and show him little by little every day.

 

I hate when a woman has made her mind and acts like everything's alright and all of a sudden, out of the blue- BAM... Yo do not know what you cause by your way of thinking...

 

And one more thing- I am sure you'll regret (well, maybe not regret but something like that) for this man someday. I think you have your eye on someone else already.

 

Please forgive any false suggestions on my side if I am not correct.

 

Thanks, your suggestions are fair and square. I appreciate them.

But, no I'm not acting like everything's okay. I'm starting to send him signals. And I didn't call him for couple of days though I have promised him that I will keep in touch before I left for Thailand.

And god no, there's no third party. I'm not seeing anybody to replace him. I'm sure to be single after I break up with him.

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Rorschach64
I don't know. I'm just confused, so that's why I figured that I need some time alone. You know, at first the chemistry was amazing and I was really feeling good, but now, no, it doesn't make me feel good at all. He makes me feel paranoid, he makes me feel like I'm not good enough and it's not healthy. I'm losing sleep, losing time and energy contemplating about us.

I am setting him and myself free, if he comes back to me and if fate leads me back to him then it was meant to be so the saying goes.

 

I understand you are confused and wish to seek time to ponder on such things.

 

What was the events leading up to you feeling paranoid and good enough? Why does this persist, what is he doing that causes these paranoid thoughts to exist still? There has to be a root to all this....

 

Have you discussed this with him? I know it is hard to do so but it is the right thing to do instead of keeping on the inside, like you are doing, and torturing yourself. Talk to a conuselor (spelling?) about this, do something instead of walking away and leaving it up to that catch phrase you said up there.

 

Please don't walk away from a relationship because of your own insecurities that you maybe just imaging in your head.

 

You always have the choice, the responsibility, and the intelligence to shape your future, not some mystical thing such as Fate....or so I believe.

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