Seriously Need Some Help

[superman]

OK- Many of you out there know my situation if you have read my previous posts but to fill everyone in and bring people up to date I will give the short version. My girlfriend told me that she needed some space and time to straighten out her life back in October. I backed off and gave her what she wanted. Since then we have not had any communication besides only a few short emails. I have missed her more than anything and have had a rough time with it all. I am starting to do better and my life has changed drastically in the last few months with a new job, new car, new place, ect. I feel like I am starting over. I did not tell her about any of this because we really haven't been in contact.

 

Now for the BIG NEWS. This weekend I found out from her brother that she had been seeing someone else. But he said he didn't think they were too serious (I thought he was sugar coating it for me). I freaked out. I didn't know how to take it. I decided to call her friends to find out the truth and then call her. I went to my phone to make the calls and had a message from her. I hadn't talked to her since the first week in November and she hadn't called me since early October. She wanted to see how I was doing and see how my Christmas was.

 

I didn't say anything about me finding out about her dating someone else or getting ready to call her (she didn't know I had talked to her brother). She wanted to get together before New Years to go out to dinner. She said she still thinks about me a lot and misses me. I told her about all the changes in my life and she was very proud and glad to hear I was doing good. When I asked her what she was up to she told me "same old, same old".

 

What is going on in her head? How do I handle this? What should I say to her when we go to dinner?

[Errol]

Why not ask her over the phone. She may be wanting to use the dinner as a way to tell you she has moved on. Talk to her over the phone and save yourself the public heartbreak.

 

Wish her well and move on-- I should say 'keep moving on' but now you will have closure.

 

Of course, that may not be the reason for the dinner -- she may want to get back together. But be honest with her and let her know that you know she's been seeing someone. Maybe her brother or one of her friends has already told her that you are aware of it.

[Cpunch75]

actions speak louder than words

 

She's not calling you, youre calling her

 

People change in a matter of months...depending on how life experiences mold them and their personality. Sounds like she is going through a lot right now, I would not rely on the notion that you are going to "get back together"

because you would be just plain Naive and ultimately you will be in a lot of pain. Cut your losses, look elsewhere be good to yourself, avoid the suffering it's not worth it. The space line is plain BS. "I need space" is translated to "we are breaking up, this isn't working out".

 

 

The facts: she has been reported to be seeing someone by who? her brother, not a friend, not a co-worker but her brother. Someone who is very close to her. Trust my instincts on this one, Obviously she's moved on and has met someone and has told her brother and family that she is going on a date, seeing someone etc...

 

"she misses me, thinks about me" Yeah that's nice, I'm sure you miss her too.

If she missed you she would call you. True sentiment lies in the actions we take towards each other.

 

You choose how you will react and respond to what she says at that dinner. If I was you, I would politely say that I have plans with friends and not meet her at all.

[UCFKevin]

It's over.

 

She's seeing someone else. Whether it's serious or not, or she's testing her feelings, f*ck it, that's not what you deserve, you shouldn't be waiting in the wings.