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breaking the cycle


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eleanorhurting

i am sorry i am posting so much but during all my attemps at NC and the cycle with the ex this is around the time where he throws me some breadcrumbs and i stumble. And i am determined not to do that.

 

So i thought i had erased him from everything (skype, gchat, i erased my facebook account months ago thank God). But today i was studying and i got a google plus notification on my cel. He had 1 plused something i had posted and then posted this song by john mayer (his favorite artist) with the heading "music heals..."

 

In these days with the world gettin colder

She spends more time sleeping over

Than I’d planned

Tonight we're gonna order in

Drinkin wine and watchin CNN

It’s dark, I know

But then again, it's the brightest thing I've got

 

When I'm covered in rain, rain

When I'm covered in rain, rain, rain, rain

 

From fireworks to fireplaces

Summer stole what fall replaces

And now we're people watching

All the people, people watching us right back

Standing by the missing signs

At the CVS, by the checkout line

She puts her quiet hands in mine,

Cause she's the brightest thing I've got

 

When I’m covered in rain, rain

When I’m covered in rain, rain, rain, rain

Oh, I’m covered in rain

Oh, I’m covered in rain

Oh, I’m covered in rain

 

And come December, Lydia left.

She mentioned something ‘bout it being for the best,

And I can't say I disagree, and its killing me.

And now I’m standing facing west

Tracing my fingers round a silhouette

I haven’t gotten used to yet,

But it’s the brightest thing I’ve got

 

When I’m covered in rain

 

ugh i dont know why he did this it probably doesnt mean anything and maybe im looking into it too much but hes very sneaky and the song sounds alot like us.

 

I dont know if this is a very cleverly disguised breadcrumb (hes sneaky like that plus he promised not to speak to me again unless i told him i had healed and was ready to be friends so it would be a way of contacting me without breaking his promise) or if its not anything but i am so glad to break the cycle, ignore him instead of falling for his crap (eventhough im thinking about it) and just erase him off google plus.

 

I am stronger and better than this now. I know im talking to myself and i am being silly but i need to be strong. I am feeling better i am going places i am better than this.

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