Alcoholic ex-boyfriend. Why do I care so much!?

[Unrequitedlove]

My ex-boyfriend of over a year dumped me about 10 days ago, and we haven't spoken since. Our relationship was great, so it took me by surprise. His reasons were that he wanted to find himself and needed space to better himself. Before we broke up, he was trying to go sober (for the third time) since he's been an alcoholic for a couple of years. I now heard that he's hanging out with his old crowd and has relapsed. Throughout our relationship, he's had personal issues that I tried to help him overcome. Should I continue NC? I really can't help but care and feel sorry, even if he hurt me.

[Oregon native]

So his reason for going back to being an alcoholic is?

 

If your looking for advice, you already know the answer. The truth hurts but its a part of growing up, being grown up.

 

I can see your looking for help, you not sure what to do. Keep your head up.

[carhill]

You care because you loved him and are/were emotionally attached to him. Accepting his disease as unhealthy and hurtful to a productive relationship can assist in your recovery. I suggest contacting AlAnon and getting some help with that.

 

He'll be back. It's inevitable with this type, IME.

[Unrequitedlove]

I know I don't have the power to get him sober again, but do you think me being apart of his life again (for support, because he has none) would make a difference? Or would it cause more harm than good?

[carhill]

AlAnon can give you a healthy roadmap to dealing with 'being a part of his life'. Every situation is different and so are the solutions.

 

Generally, having been a 'support' to a number of alcoholic females in my life, I'd recommend against it. Unless they are detoxed and in active recovery, IME it's a no-win situation.