dng Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Ok so, I went throught a breakup for about the last year. I still feel some pain from that. Met someone about 3 weeks ago, started off pretty well but I have to say I've become a heavy drinker and partier over the last year. I guess I set off tons of red flags and I dont really care. We went on a weekend together this past weekend and has a blast, but she was a bit quiet on the way back. Since then, she's been NC. I texted her on monday with a short message saying I enjoyed the weekend, I was thinking about her and it got us closure, she replied with something super dickish like "I need some time with my own thoughts". To which I replied "I'll be at the pool, later". Its a joke, obviously. Ok so I had got a ring for her, just a simple and sober silver ring engraved with a short message, her name and her age (which I will not disclose here but its under 30) today. So somethine like, 25 today p*. Ok so now, its tomorrow, I havent heard from her since monday (and havent contacted her either) and my gut feeling is that its over. My options are to drop it off in her mailbox and never call her again and stay NC forever or to keep the god damn ring. Note that its the first time in my life I actually try to properly celebrate someone's bday. LS, what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Lil1 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Follow through with your initial intentions and give her the ring. You bought it for her out of genuine kindness didn't you? i.e., Not because you had ulterior motives. It's weird for her to go NC without any justification... did something happen over the weekend? You mentioned you have set off a ton of red flags but that you don't care. Maybe she has picked up on this and is realizing that you aren't really serious about her. Either way, I think yes, give her the ring and include a sincere note/card with it. After that, give her space and let her make the next move. Be honest with yourself about your intentions with her (whether you are just having fun with her or if you see something serious developing between you two). Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dng Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Follow through with your initial intentions and give her the ring. You bought it for her out of genuine kindness didn't you? i.e., Not because you had ulterior motives. No, no ulterior motives. I made sure to find out what she liked and the message itself will be significant to her. It's weird for her to go NC without any justification... did something happen over the weekend? You mentioned you have set off a ton of red flags but that you don't care. Maybe she has picked up on this and is realizing that you aren't really serious about her. I wasnt sure of anything before the weekend. I dont think anything special happened but we got pretty drunk the whole time - she was drinking as well. She told me last week something like "You are so indifferent to everything that its bordering on the pathlogical" so I tried to open up, that is what she was asking, right? So during and after the weekend I was very affectionate to her and made sure to tell her I liked her and I felt it got us closer. And now, this. Bou-hou. Woman, make up your mind. Either way, I think yes, give her the ring and include a sincere note/card with it. After that, give her space and let her make the next move. Be honest with yourself about your intentions with her (whether you are just having fun with her or if you see something serious developing between you two). Good luck! I do see something developping between us but I do not wish to pursue her or anyone else and I feel her going cold like this killed the flow between us. I'm concerned than giving her a gift at this point will make me look retarded or needy or something. I'm sure I can let it go, it will sting a little but its only been a month or so, its not going to be a big deal. I'm asking the collective to help me make the right decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dng Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 So in closing, I dropped by her place, rang the door. She opened, looked freaked out. I felt like a creep. I smiled, said happy bday and gave her the gift. She said nothing, I said nothing else, it was so weird I was taking steps back. I said goodbye and walked away, deleted her contact info as I unlocked the car. I got home, waited a little, went to see some friends. At 2am, still nothing so I sent her a short email - thank you for the good times, best of luck to you and best regards - and unfriended her. Goodbye. That is all. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 ugh - - that sounded painfully awkward. well - - at least it's over. done and done. right? and of course, it sounds like you already the NC drill. sorry you had to go through that though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dng Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 ugh - - that sounded painfully awkward. well - - at least it's over. done and done. right? and of course, it sounds like you already the NC drill. sorry you had to go through that though. Yeah, done and done. At least, I'm done. Not sure what happened there but I feel its not my problem, in the sense that I didnt do anything wrong. I'll just make sure to not be available if she comes back for more. She really pulled a 180, got cold feet, whatever. I've done it before so best leave her be. Link to post Share on other sites
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