I am pissed!! I have known my current boyfriend for 16 years. We met when we were teenagers and had a little girl. He left me and went on to do many different things with his life, while I was at home taking care of a baby. I eventually got married and was stuck with a abusive man that I have two children with. I hate the ex husband but love the children very much. After separating from the husband I got back together with the father of my first child. Before we got back together he sat me down and told me that he owes me a lot. We eventually moved in together and have lived several different places. He was raised by his grandmother and when a house became vacant next door to her we took it. He wanted the house because it was next to his grandmother and I agreed to move in because it would put me closer to my children while I was fighting for custody with their father. I won custody. Our daughter that we have together is almost 15 and lives 45 minutes away in Azle. I want to move to Azle to be near her and I thought he would eventually move with me. He claimed he loved me and that there has been no one else since we have been together.
WELL he informed me today that he has no intentions of ever moving to Azle. That he loves his grandmother more than his daughter Melinda, and when I asked him why he was with me, he said it was because I was a good piece of ass. Well, my first reaction is "F" you a$$ Hole.
I can understand him worrying about his grandmother, but she has a son that lives less than 10 minutes away, and a grand daughter that is doing well financially. I don't see why they cant take some of the responsibility. I feel if I can travel 45 minutes to see my daughter, it would't hurt him to travel 45 minutes to see his grandmother.
My 11 year old daughter treats him terribly and I have spoken with her until I am blue in the face about it. But I see him talking down to her often as well. I feel I have no other choice than to say adios to this guy and never speak with him again. He has recently started calling me a bitch and today he called my daughter a biAtch. Which means the same thing.
The thing I get mad about is he said he would put me and Melinda first. I have watched him work for his mother for 2 years for free trying to get her business off the ground while I was working as a waitress supporting us, living in a very small closet of a place. He doesnt give me any credit for that. I have ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to please him and his family. Trying to be happy. He doesnt seem to respect me in anyway no matter how hard I have tried to make things work.
I started packing my things today and have over half of my stuff ready to go. I have contacted family members and they are volunteering to help me out with the move with the truck rentals and first months down payment on a rental house. I work for very good people and they have offered to give me what ever I need financially to make this transition less stressful.
The kids are excited, but my son says he will miss him. I am sad because I have loved this man for a very long time. I lost a lot of respect for him today when he told me he would never move with me. And I lost a lot of love when he said that he loved his grandmother more than his daughter, whom I happen to thing is a awesome little girl, but he wont give her the time of day. He thinks she should make a effort to come see him, while she thinks that he is the "father" and the effort should be on him.
I remember reading an article that involved his own father wanting to come home and get to know his little boy. They got to be very close before his dad died and it bothers me that my daughter will never know him. She needs to know him, but he doesnt care, or at least he doesnt show it.
I know this is only one side of the story, but I am looking for advice. Im not as sad about it as I thought I would be, even though I do love him and always will. I don't think I can ever get over the words he said today so I doubt friendship will ever happen with us again.
Any words of wisdom or stories of the like are appreciated.
Why do men not love their daughters? Why do women love men and expect a solid relationship with someone who just don't care?
BTW...he was all set to marry this woman that cheated on him two or three times and raise her son. I have never cheated on him but the most commitment he wants with me is 15 minutes and half the rent and utilities.