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If only i stayed NC from day 1


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jacksonBrown

i held onto false hope that we could work things out even tho she had told me no it was over she said things like she still loves me but she just cant do it anymore. After a few weeks of LC i cracked big time when i saw her one day ended up txting her telling her how depressed i was blah blah blah can we just work it out of course she said no. then today i noticed she blocked my off facebook and i couldn't control myself i had to txt her basically pleading for her not to hate me jeezus christ i made such a fool of myself so needy so pathetic i write her three msg's this morning all with no response then i finally get one saying please dont txt me anymore thanks... man if only i'd held onto my dignity from day one and just accepted that fact that if somesays they dont want you then thats it. let it go.

 

If i'd just stayed NC from day one i would be almost healed by now instead here i am 7 weeks later, looking needy desperate and completely ruined any chance of reconciliation and feel like its the first day of the break up all over again.

 

definatly a lesson learned stay stong guys NC all the way

 

just needed to vent.

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marqueemoon4

hindsight is always 20/20... lesson learned. doesn't seem like much of a consolation but its all you can do.

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I feel the same way. Wish so badly I'd stayed NC from day one. But I let my instincts dictate my actions with disastrous consequences for all. :(

 

So this warning goes out to anyone who has just experienced a break up- Stay NC!! You will recover more quickly, your ex will have more respect for you and they are more likely to miss you and want you back. Win, win, win, win.

 

The only reason it might be reasonable to contact an ex soon after they've broken up with you is if you cheated on them or else seriously wronged them in someway and feel the need to sincerely apologize, there is a family emergency, or you cannot avoid each other because you: work together, are at school together, have the same friends or have children together (in which case you can still use LC) and keep your distance as best you can.

 

I just wish I'd woken up to the power of NC sooner. :(

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jacksonBrown

NC all the way untill they are telling you they miss you and want to work things out its NC... if you never hear from them again least you held onto your dignity they will respect you that much more than if you chase them

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i held onto false hope that we could work things out even tho she had told me no it was over she said things like she still loves me but she just cant do it anymore. After a few weeks of LC i cracked big time when i saw her one day ended up txting her telling her how depressed i was blah blah blah can we just work it out of course she said no. then today i noticed she blocked my off facebook and i couldn't control myself i had to txt her basically pleading for her not to hate me jeezus christ i made such a fool of myself so needy so pathetic i write her three msg's this morning all with no response then i finally get one saying please dont txt me anymore thanks... man if only i'd held onto my dignity from day one and just accepted that fact that if somesays they dont want you then thats it. let it go.

 

If i'd just stayed NC from day one i would be almost healed by now instead here i am 7 weeks later, looking needy desperate and completely ruined any chance of reconciliation and feel like its the first day of the break up all over again.

 

definatly a lesson learned stay stong guys NC all the way

 

just needed to vent.

 

Yeah its a difficult one this. Because you can stay NC, keep your dignity but then never hear from them again. Then at some point your probably going to wonder "should I have made more of an effort to fight for them?"

 

Or you do the opposite, you fight for them, they turn you down, you lose your dignity and think "man, I should have gone NC from day 1"

 

Its a lose/lose situation really.

 

I took the fighting for her option. She turned me down a number of times. She wouldn't even see me. But then it got to the point where I realised that whatever route I took, it was always going to end the same....with her walking away and never wanting to see me again. Because she is the kind of person who sticks to her decision.

 

So yes, I lost my dignity by trying to win her back BUT....does it really matter losing your dignity to someone your never going to see again anyway? Of course not! And for me, it eliminated any wondering months down the line.

 

At the end of the day, she walked away from you mate. That's the hard truth. If she truely loved you, she would have stayed to work things out in the first place. Don't beat yourself up.

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jacksonBrown

everyone has their own way of dealing with a break up i know in the future if iam in the situation again I will go NC from day one no matter how much it hurts no txts no emails no letters no nothing, all those little things you want to tell them how you've changed how it could be different i would never do it again, it just ends up in more hurt

 

my two cents

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