dragonfly22 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 So, today is proof that there is a reason for NC. It was day 8 NC and I've been missing him like crazy (of course) and was feeling really down this afternoon. So I saw in the newspaper today that my ex's boss is being transfered. I know how much he admires this man so I texted him "hey, I read about your boss leaving in the newspaper, good luck with the new one" So he immediately answered and asked me how I was doing. I told him I was fine and told him about some amazing feedback I got at work and how one of the managers was furious because I wasn't appointed to a very important project. So he answers "well, it was obvious, there's no one, no one, NO ONE like you." So at the time I felt soo happy. I thought "maybe he realizes what he let go". Well then he sent me another message saying "i'm glad you are doing so well and slowly are feeling better." And that was it. So, the happiness was followed by a horrible feeling of "well, he knows theres no one like me but he doesn't care...he is just glad i'm moving on". I've been crying non-stop since that. Crying like I had not cried in many many days. I don't know why I broke NC, I was doing so well. This hurts soo much. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Yup, this is exactly why. The ex can just keep assuming things. Of course you'll be okay! But he doesn't need verification of that at your expense. NC brings focus on you until you get a clear head and feel better. It's your "me" time. Stay the course. Hope you'll use this as a reminder of why NC is good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 If you broke NC, start NC again I broke NC like 3 times, don't feel bad for breaking NC. But if you delay starting NC again, you will end up hurting yourself more. Don't feel hurt anymore. Look at this in a different and positive angle,"I'm so glad I'm not with him anymore." Link to post Share on other sites
ganbare Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Hey Dragonfly. I've read your story from the beginning and this article reminded me of you. Hope it helps explain why your ex bolted so fast and aggressively! http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/happy-one-day-chopped-the-next-when-they-breakup-and-vanish/#more-6705 Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 @OP Obviously you haven't read my RULES! I suggest you read them and follow them religiously, otherwise you'll just be depressed and crying. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes it takes a few stumbles and falls to grasp the benefits and meaning of NC in our lives. You fell, so now you get up again. And like before, you will once again grieve the reality of this loss and as the days go by you will start to regain your strength and determination to keep on going. It's a process. And with every fall, you will hold stronger and stronger onto the memory of how painful breaking NC was to you. Everytime you break NC, the aftermath teaches you again and again how to guard your heart with more care. And one day NC will stick. You will remember the pain of being NC is much more tolerable than the pain of contact and rejection. The reality that they're moving on is hard to accept. While they say all these wonderful things about you, they still want to leave. But as cliche as it sounds, there will be someone out there for you one day that will see all these wonderful things about you and want to be with you. Please stay NC. Maybe one day when you are void of emotional feelings for him, you can be friends, if that is what you want. But for now, take care of yourself and let NC heal you. Cry and grieve and do what is necessary just don't break NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_d Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 just checking to see how your today is going? don't be too hard on yourself, you are caught in a cycle of projecting what you think he is feeling when you really don't know. it's as equally possible that he misses you like crazy, thinks he has no shot, is curled up in a ball unable to move from the grief. stay in the moment and try not to let your mind go on wild trips of fantasy. you broke NC, you learned something about why that is bad, give yourself permission to accept that you learned something and look forward, not back. hang in there, you are doing well and you will make it. post an update here so that you can feel like there is someone to talk to, don't isolate. Link to post Share on other sites
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