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Jumping from one relationship to the next


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 3rd May 2011, 9:37 AM   #1
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Jumping from one relationship to the next

My question is this....How come some people can just jump from one relationship to another in the space of a few weeks/months after break up. I have some friends and they are always in relationships! They are only single for a few weeks at a time and fall for people hard and fast. It takes me a long time to really get to like someone romantically (I am cool with making new friends).

I have met so many nice, attractive normal men but I am just waiting for the one that actually makes me feel really excited. I have had that feeling a few times in my life. At times, I feel this is how it should be. But now I am wondering of I am too picky and too select. What if he never comes along? Should I just accept a guy that ticks some of my boxes and hope to fall for him. I don't think its fair on them or me but I often wonder if that is the secret to a good relationship. Getting out there and giving new people chances....

I broke up with my ex 3 months ago and he has had at least 2 flings (well, more than just flings). Even just before we broke up I suspected he was looking at other girls. I mean, I just don't get it. I wish I could have been that way but I can't. He is with some new girl now and really excited about it. Before I met him I was cautious as he pretty much has always had gf's since he was 17. He is almost 27 now! Is it possible to meet THAT many girls you are crazy about?

Im curious if anyone else feels like me.....
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Old 3rd May 2011, 9:42 AM   #2
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You will never fully understand the reason behind it, perhaps they themselves also don't know.

Some people I believe need to be in a relationship to feel happy. And I feel that this category of people have possibly low self-esteem.

Just go along with the flow, don't rush love.
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Old 3rd May 2011, 9:43 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna86 View Post
My question is this....How come some people can just jump from one relationship to another in the space of a few weeks/months after break up. I have some friends and they are always in relationships! They are only single for a few weeks at a time and fall for people hard and fast. It takes me a long time to really get to like someone romantically (I am cool with making new friends).

I have met so many nice, attractive normal men but I am just waiting for the one that actually makes me feel really excited. I have had that feeling a few times in my life. At times, I feel this is how it should be. But now I am wondering of I am too picky and too select. What if he never comes along? Should I just accept a guy that ticks some of my boxes and hope to fall for him. I don't think its fair on them or me but I often wonder if that is the secret to a good relationship. Getting out there and giving new people chances....

I broke up with my ex 3 months ago and he has had at least 2 flings (well, more than just flings). Even just before we broke up I suspected he was looking at other girls. I mean, I just don't get it. I wish I could have been that way but I can't. He is with some new girl now and really excited about it. Before I met him I was cautious as he pretty much has always had gf's since he was 17. He is almost 27 now! Is it possible to meet THAT many girls you are crazy about?

Im curious if anyone else feels like me.....
Definitely me. I can say with all certainty that after being dumped recently, any new relationship would just be for my self satisfaction, nothing true at all.

There are too many variables to decide. Will she like the things I do? Will she hate them? Will we be too different? What's her family like? Are her friends sane?

These are far too difficult to assess after bouncing off to a new relationship. The people that do it seem extremely clingy and self-centered.
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Old 3rd May 2011, 9:49 AM   #4
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I do.

I've just turned 28 and have had 3 relationships and a handful of dates. I really don't understand how people can go from relationship to relationship. I found during my single years I can really focus on what I wanted. Not what would be good for both of us.

I generally meet enough 'eligable' girls but generally I don't get that 'feeling' like I had when I met my exs. I don't date for the sake of dating.

Sometimes it bothers me not having that significant other. Generally I'm quite happy just to live my life and if I find that special someone again then bonus. But I'm not going to force feelings because 'everyone' seems to have that special someone.
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Old 3rd May 2011, 9:50 AM   #5
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I'm the same as you. My partner broke up with me 9 weeks ago, and I'm still so fragile. I couodnt even begin to want another man near me, let alone set aboit a relationship. My relationship with him was very special to me, and I would like another chance, and don't think being with somebody else would show him that. It's very unlikely that I will get another chance. I know that I need to heal before even wanting to consider anybody else in my life. I thought my relationship was for life, and I can't get over that in 9 weeks. I guess it depends what kind of view the person has on relationships, whether they want a long-term committed one, or just fun.
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Old 4th May 2011, 1:10 PM   #6
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I'm kind of inbetween. My entire life I've been in relationships. Growing up I was with a man who I loved deerly for 4 1/2 years, and 2 weeks after we had ended it (I left him) I was with my newest ex who I was with for 4 years. At that time in my life I had been out of the relationship mentally for quite some time. I will not say I wasn't selfish, but that was my story.

This time around it's been 5 months since my ex left me (granted we've been going back and forth pretty much every few weeks up until now) and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else right now. I've tried meeting new people, even flirting with some new people, but once someone new wants to take me out of move forward in any way I freeze and run away.

Some people take longer times than other. I think it has to do with how long before the break you were really checked out. Just my opinion.
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