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What do you say when they ask why you broke up?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 3rd May 2011, 1:27 AM   #1
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What do you say when they ask why you broke up?

When you're dating, or considering to date someone...how much do you tell them about you and your ex when they ask? Like..if they ask "Why did you guys break up?" or "Have any crazy exes?" What do you say? Do you try to sugarcoat it, or do you just tell them the ugly truth?

I ask, because when we broke up, everyone asked why it ended within the first couple of weeks, and were shocked since they figured we'd be together for quite a while. I told them the then truth by saying "He's not in a place to be in a relationship right now..it's pretty mutual, and we're staying friends!" It didn't take long for everyone to figure out the real reason for why he broke up with me, but many made different assumptions regardless. Some thought I was too needy, others thought it was because I was too mature, some said it was because I was a virgin (untrue), well still others thought that he cheated on me. Regardless, people knew not to bring it up anymore, and everyone for the most part understood that regardless of his reasoning..he was now dating this other chick and left me for her.

But there's this guy that I've been crushing on, and who I've been hoping to date, and he apparently knows that I want to date him. Tonight, we were talking about how one of his tables were on a date, and how he gave them a coupon to help them out since he feels for guys that age who don't have too much money to take their girls out on dates. He said more guys should do that, but most don't seem to. I told him that that was the truth, since I was the one who was always taking my ex out..which he couldn't believe. I told him that yup..I was the good girlfriend and always tried to treat him to dates.

He then made the mistake of asking why we broke up, which honestly took me by surprise. I know he heard and believed the whole virgin story, so I'm sure that's what he was expecting me to say. But when he asked, it kind of broke my heart a bit, and tore me up, for the first time in over a week. I had to stabilize myself, look down, and take a deep breath as I thought about the answer, knowing what he was expecting me to say. I told him it was because my ex just didn't care about me, and basically left me for his new girlfriend. My crush couldn't believe it since apparently he thought we dated a few years ago..not recently. He also couldn't believe that we dated for a year and that his new girlfriend was 18..not 16 which he thought apparently.

But I'm just wondering...is what I said TMI? Is it not enough? Should I wait till we're actually dating to tell him things in more detail? Where do you draw the line of "Okay to say.." and "Too much!" I mean..my ex treated me like sh*t, and I've hid that fact from most of our mutual friends, since I don't want them to know and make judgments on him for how he treated me. But...would you tell someone that you're dating (I Know we're not dating..yet No need to point it out) those details..especially if you have all the same mutual friends?
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