Lilmisus Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Okay, so..while together, three of my ex's cousins, and one of his aunts and a few of his friends added me on Facebook. They each requested me, and I of course, accepted. I even told him about each of them, and he said they added me because I was his girl. During the course of the relationship, they would each comment and like different status updates and pictures of mine (I never did the same to them), and one of them would even IM me from time to time to see how I was doing or to ask about him or our relationship. When we broke up and I changed my status to single, a few people commented on it, and one friend asked if I was okay. I told her "Yes ma'am! For now, it's for the best" which his aunt "liked", along with multiple other people. Since then, I have yet to delete any of them, and they're still commenting and liking my things, though no more IMs. I'm not sure if it's because they think that him and I are still talking and trying to work things out (while we were still trying to be friends, I commented on his page a few times), or if that's just how they roll when it comes to Facebook. Just 20 minutes ago, his aunt "liked" my status, and though I tried to not think anything of it, it made me wonder if I should just delete her and the rest of them. I know that it's probably the best thing for me to do..delete them and move on even more so with my life by doing so..but it feels like it'd be such a rude thing to do. I mean..they're not doing any harm towards me, and I know they do it to all of their friends that they're added to, but at the same time..they're my ex's family, and I'm not sure if it's the best move to keep them added due to that fact. One cousin of his though, is actually a friend of mine and coworker, and her and I pretty close. We even became closer since the breakup, we just make it a point to not talk about him or anything like that. We talk about other boys that I'm interested in. So, regardless, I'm definitely not deleting her, but I'd still have ties to his family because of her. So...I'm just wondering what y'all think I should do. Keep his family added since they're doing me no harm, and it's not really affecting the moving on process (as far as I can tell)? Or delete them, even though it does feel like the rude thing to do..it is probably for the best? Oh, and is it juvenile that I feel somewhat better than his new girlfriend since none of his family has added or reached out to her? Including his cousin who's our coworker? Ahhh the little things that make me happy... Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfly22 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 I have the same dilemma. I actually even had a long chat with my ex's cousin today and my ex wasn't even mentioned once in that conversation. I just think this people welcomed me into their family, why defriend them? They won't get in the way on my healing process and I just feel it would be rude to stop contact with them. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I think. I know my ex has someone else already and I know his family has no clue. Im sure he is waiting long enough to be able to introduce her to them without having them see her as the "homewrecker". Anyway, it also kind of makes me happy to know I'm friends with pretty much all of my ex's extended family while the new gf isn't. (I know, childlish). Link to post Share on other sites
b89 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Make sure you dont delete them. Theyre doing no harm and neither are you. You will probably find that in time, maybe theyll stop communicating with you due to sheer irrelevant nature of your relationship, so no bitterness there. Keep them =) Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Erm, i thought you are moving on and seeking NC? It's entirely up to the individual's decision if they want to delete the friends or families. Oh, and is it juvenile that I feel somewhat better than his new girlfriend since none of his family has added or reached out to her? Including his cousin who's our coworker? Ahhh the little things that make me happy... Whatever makes you happier Though do bear in mind you are not with him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lilmisus Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 Erm, i thought you are moving on and seeking NC? It's entirely up to the individual's decision if they want to delete the friends or families. Oh, and is it juvenile that I feel somewhat better than his new girlfriend since none of his family has added or reached out to her? Including his cousin who's our coworker? Ahhh the little things that make me happy... Whatever makes you happier Though do bear in mind you are not with him anymore. I am definitely moving on, though now, I know I can't achieve NC, though I would love to be able to have it. I've decided to stay at my job for a while longer, since I have many friends there, and a new potential guy-friend (who I can't help but keep posting about in the dating section ). I realize that the best thing to do is what I did yesterday by telling everyone to not mention him or his new girlfriend to me at all, and if anyone says anything about me or them, to just not bother telling me, that I just don't care anymore. I told everyone that I need to move on, and that's the best and only way to do it. When one person mentioned his name to me tonight, I told him "uh uh! No more!" and he made up the nickname "stupid!" instead to refer to him as. At work tonight, I ignored him completely, and just went about my day as usual, and things felt pretty good for me, regardless of the fact that I'm under a ton of stress right now. So...that's my game plan now! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lilmisus Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 I have the same dilemma. I actually even had a long chat with my ex's cousin today and my ex wasn't even mentioned once in that conversation. I just think this people welcomed me into their family, why defriend them? They won't get in the way on my healing process and I just feel it would be rude to stop contact with them. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I think. I know my ex has someone else already and I know his family has no clue. Im sure he is waiting long enough to be able to introduce her to them without having them see her as the "homewrecker". Anyway, it also kind of makes me happy to know I'm friends with pretty much all of my ex's extended family while the new gf isn't. (I know, childlish). This sounds exactly where I'm at right now. Though it is definitely childish to feel happy about being friends with the family and whatnot, it's hard not to feel that way! Now...I'm just wondering how long it will take for them to add her once they figure it out. Once they do try to befriend her, I think I'll start to strongly consider bowing out of their lives..but for now, I think I will keep them for a while longer at least. Link to post Share on other sites
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