mishaps Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Hi everyone I was just wondering if people.can give me some advice/help me cope. My gf and I have been together for 3.5 years and I broke up with her on Sunday. I love her to bits she is great. We just came back from holiday as well which went well despite a few arguments moods and lack of intimacy. The reasons I broke up with her were family issues, well mine I'm Indian and we were both girls so hence my family did not know and I don't think I could tell them. I said I would when I was 25 but not happening so it turned into when I am 26 and I just feel it will go on like that. If i do tell them and we get married have kids etc there will always be the point of she will be treated like a bit of an outcast as would kids. I would get pulled in two directions her and family which I feel would result in arguments and estrangement. And that is not fair on her. There is one white guy in our family and at family gatherings hardly anyone talks to him. I feel that our family values and cultures are different and her and my parents are so different and it shows in the way we have been brought up and are treated now. Our responsibilities are different I am very independent qnd she has always been living with parents or me which makes us differ on financial, household things etc. When I told her she didn't get mad or anything she was just like I love you so much. We both want to be best friends because we do get on great. But due to her financial problems she can't move out. Am I making a massive mistake in letting her go or what do I do bout the situation that we are in. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Well what do you plan to do next? Are you going to meet and marry a guy and have lots of children, just to keep your family happy? That is no good... living your entire life unhappy and denying your sexuality. That will end in disaster. Or are you going to meet another girl and go right back to square one? I would say if you truly love her then apologize, beg for her back, and commit to making it work. Then tell your family. Whatever they choose to do is beyond your control. You are only responsible for your own actions, you cannot control others. So long as you act with dignity and self respect then you have done nothing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishaps Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 I can't commit to her unless I tell my family. It's not fair on her. It's hard telling family. Indian families are difficult. It's not the norm. It's a stress that was taking a toll on our rs. I actually feel a little relieved. Yes I do want a family and kids and yes that can be a guy with me if I want to. She is too good of a person for me to make suffer if I let her into my family I can't guarantee she won't be ridiculed and I can't guarantee what I will do then. She even said to me we make better friends than girlfriends because all this stress has gone. Link to post Share on other sites
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