ljpaterson Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 My ex dumped me almost 2 months ago. He's still been asking me to hang out. I said yes and we went to the mall on Sunday. He tried to put his arm around me in the theater. I said no. He tried to hold my hand. I said no. We had fun so when he went to drop me off I asked if he wanted to come inside. The weather was horrible, but he agreed to come in. It was blizzarding.. and I still love him, so I asked him if he wanted to sleep over. He was skeptical, but when I said we could both sleep in my bed, he said okay. SO... bedtime rolls around after a fun day, we go to lay down, and he gets COMPLETELY NAKED and crawls into bed with me. I almost started to scream. After telling him to get his pants on and making him sleep in a seperate blanket, I have now FINALLY concluded that the only reason he hangs around me is because he still wants to have sex with me. I thought he might still like me... but now I know I am completely wrong. I have to go NC with him. No more being his "friend" or whatever the hell he thinks we are anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 So he wants to hang out with you, hold your hand and put his arm around you. Then you ask him to come in and tell him to spend the night in the same bed. He wants to have sex. Why are you two not together? Link to post Share on other sites
Movingthrough Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 Kinda set yourself up for that one . But, maybe its served its purpose, now you know there is no point to staying in contact. He may be getting feelings again but it could be the sex. The fact that he tried to do the hand holding things etc, shows it might still be a lingering feeling he has. He did the dumping so let him live with it. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 I think you could just as well confront him. A guy who is willing to hold hands and show so much affection in public is not just interested in sex. Perhaps he's not sure if he wants to get back together or he knows he doesn't want to. Either way there's something there and you could just as well ask him before going NC. I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ljpaterson Posted March 8, 2011 Author Share Posted March 8, 2011 I begged for him to get back together with me about two weeks ago and he said he would never want to date me again. I thought that about the movie theater too... he never knew he was going to spend the night, I am sure of that. While he was over he kept looking over at what I was doing and laying his head on my shoulder too. When he DID try to put his arm around me in the movie theater he said... "Is this okay? For old time's sake?" And before he left he gave me a HUGE hug and squeezed me for a long time. I AM SO CONFUSED! Link to post Share on other sites
Movingthrough Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 Is this okay? For old time's sake? I dont want to be disrespectful, but is this guy 11 or something? That is the most immature thing i have ever heard. You need to cut your losses on this one... Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 I think you could just as well confront him. A guy who is willing to hold hands and show so much affection in public is not just interested in sex. Perhaps he's not sure if he wants to get back together or he knows he doesn't want to. Either way there's something there and you could just as well ask him before going NC. I think. In my experience guys will hold your hand and be affectionate etc just to get to have sex with you by the end of it. I've worked similar in reverse. Paterson, I am pleased you realise that on a personal level for you it is all or nothing and from now on you can protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ljpaterson Posted March 8, 2011 Author Share Posted March 8, 2011 I agree. The whole thing is so messed up. Neither of us have spoken since I saw him yesterday, and I don't ever plan on being the one to text him or call him first anymore. This is the worst mind game EVER. There are so many mixed signals.. it makes me want to throw up. On the Saturday before we saw each other, he texted me and I didn't answer until 9:00pm because I was with an old friend. On Sunday, he demanded on knowing who this "old friend" was. I just said "An old friend I used to go to school with?" and He is like "Who might that be?" I was like "Chris.." And hes like "Oh I guess I don't know him.. huh?" Why does he care who I hang out with?! Oh, and then the whole day on Sunday, he was texting someone else. Late at night, when we were on the couch, he was texting nonstop and he was like... hiding his phone so I couldn't see who he was texting. But he was still talking to me all of the time and interested in what I was doing also. What is WITH this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 He's an idiot, that is what is wrong with him. I sense you don't want to accept this but you need to start to! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ljpaterson Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 What does everyone else think about this? Think I still have a shot with him? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I think he likes you, wants to bump uglies with you, and with other women too, whilst not wanting you to see other men. That's what's on offer. It's up to you if you accept that offer. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 What does everyone else think about this? Think I still have a shot with him? :laugh: I can't believe you asked this, after saying this - I don't ever plan on being the one to text him or call him first anymore. You're not getting it. You need to quit this, for good. It's making you so messed up, you want to throw up? What are you not listening to? Us - or yourself?? Link to post Share on other sites
TurboGirl Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I begged for him to get back together with me about two weeks ago and he said he would never want to date me again. I thought that about the movie theater too... he never knew he was going to spend the night, I am sure of that. While he was over he kept looking over at what I was doing and laying his head on my shoulder too. When he DID try to put his arm around me in the movie theater he said... "Is this okay? For old time's sake?" And before he left he gave me a HUGE hug and squeezed me for a long time. I AM SO CONFUSED! Paterson, this guy said he would never want to date you again. Lose this guy, go NC and move on. He is a user. He doesn't want to date you, but just have sex with you when it is convenient for him! All this "lets be friends" is a bunch of crap to continue having sex... and "friends" well, it would be NO effort on his part! I know you are hurt, shocked, etc. This one is a user and very immature. Totally self centered here. Go NC and stay NC. There will be another guy for you, one deserving of you. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author ljpaterson Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 Yes, I have already begun going NC. 3 days so far. I was sure he only wanted me for sex but some of you had tried to tell me otherwise, which got my hopes up a little I guess. =/ Thanks for all the opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
Beeotch Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 My ex dumped me almost 2 months ago. He's still been asking me to hang out. I said yes and we went to the mall on Sunday. He tried to put his arm around me in the theater. I said no. He tried to hold my hand. I said no. We had fun so when he went to drop me off I asked if he wanted to come inside. The weather was horrible, but he agreed to come in. It was blizzarding.. and I still love him, so I asked him if he wanted to sleep over. He was skeptical, but when I said we could both sleep in my bed, he said okay. SO... bedtime rolls around after a fun day, we go to lay down, and he gets COMPLETELY NAKED and crawls into bed with me. I almost started to scream. After telling him to get his pants on and making him sleep in a seperate blanket, I have now FINALLY concluded that the only reason he hangs around me is because he still wants to have sex with me. I thought he might still like me... but now I know I am completely wrong. I have to go NC with him. No more being his "friend" or whatever the hell he thinks we are anymore. Goodjob for you I think knowing even a "bad truth" or a hurtful or disappointing truth is better and gives you closure and strength to move on rather than holding out endless hope or staying in limbo and uncertainty wasting away. Link to post Share on other sites
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