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Does no contact work if you possibly hurt the person?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 2nd March 2011, 10:59 PM   #1
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Does no contact work if you possibly hurt the person?

I originally thought my girlfriend dumped me because i was too nice. We're both 18 and i'm her first boyfriend, our relationship lasted 2 months. I never swore at her, i never hit her, i never cheated on her (i wouldn't even talk to other girls when i was with her, let alone when she wasn't there) i always showed her affection and that i really cared about her. When we had something planned for the mornings, i would text her saying goodmorning beautiful, asking if we we're still doing something today, if we didn't talk all day, i would text her goodnight and sweet dreams, i complimented her on how pretty she looked and pretty much did everything you hear that girls want from a guy, and she dumps me.

I was really shocked and tried begging her to take me back, i now realise that was a big mistake, because i was apparently dumped for being too clingy. It's been a month since we broke up and it still hurts, ive been in no contact with her for about a week now. But when i think about it, although she would never admitt it, she just told me it pissed her off, would this be enough to make her suddenly lose all feelings for me and leave me in the gutter, if your boyfriend did this, would you love him enough to forgive him, did she love me at all?

It's a really long story so ill try keep it short. Basically on australia day we had a gathering at my house. The girls we're probably not going to come, so i started drinking with the guys and got drunk. The girls ended up rocking up, but my girlfriend had no problem with me drinking, although she was avoiding me. She eventually just left, so i texted her a few times, sarcastically saying fine just leave, dont talk to me the whole night, thanks a lot. Then she came back, but still didn't talk to me. I walked off by myself so she would follow and we could be alone, i really just wanted to talk to her, she did follow me but had a go at me, saying that when we're in a group it isn't just about "us." I got pretty annoyed, and sweared a little, not at her though, at my friend. She showed me the texts i sent her and i felt terrible. I told her i had downed 13 beers and was a bit drunk, asked her if i could see her but she said no, her family was over. So i picked up some flowers and dropped them off at her house, she texted me later saying thank you and we could forget it.

I was pretty down the rest of the week, we didn't really talk much but we were going to catch up in a group on sunday. I waited around my house with the guys for 45 minutes, we called, the girls had changed the plans without telling us and decided to have a girls night. My mate rang his girl, had a massive go at her and made her cry. I rang my girl, asked her what was going on, told her i really wanted to see her because we had been having problems, i was willing to drive down to the city to see her, she told me to go have a guys night, i got a little angry and hung up.

I call her later, apologize for getting angry. I send her a message on facebook explaining what happened from my point of view, i still apologize for getting angry and tell her i never meant to hurt her, she told me it was fine, she wasn't upset, just pissed off, i recognized my faults and i asked her if she needed space, she said no.

Next time i see her, she dumps me. Did i deserve it, based on the situation, should i just stay in no contact and hope she realises what she lost, or should i try explain to her that i recognize what went wrong, its been a month since we broke up though, she may have moved on.
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