roman_pavluchenko Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 i was dumped out of the blue and my heart was stomped on because she didn't feel the same anymore, she thought we were better off like this, I wasn't the person she thought I was, she couldn't go back to the way things were and she wasn't happy with the relationship as I was too clingy apparently. I realized I was being too clingy and was going to show her I changed on the day she dumped me. A few days later I went to her house telling her how I feel and that I was sorry and we could work things out but she said it couldn't happen. Its been 3 weeks since I've really talked to her, but I've seen her amongst my group of friends, at uni and at gatherings and she still kinda talks to me (she did say she still wanted to be friends because I was the sweetest and nicest guy she had ever met.) I think I still love her, it was only a 2 month relationship but I really enjoyed being with her. I'm thinking of asking her out to coffee this weekend, and just asking her what went wrong now that I'm cooled down (was pretty desperate the first time) and if we could work something out, if she ssays yes, great! if she says no, I get closure but have to tell her I can't do friendship because she hurt me so badly. I'm thinking of doing it this weekend, which will be a little over 3 weeks since the break-up, or next weekend after we're settled into uni, which one? know it sounds desperate, and i do admiit, i hope that talking to her will get her back, but basically ive been thinking hard about moving on, so if i do this i dont really have much to lose. I didnt really understand her reasons as to why she dumped me at the time because i was an emotional wreck and wasnt really listening to her, but i thought about it, and i kind of understand her point of view a bit better, i got most of the info from her best friend. All i really want to ask her, is what went wrong, if theres anyway we can fix it, if she says there isnt, her heart is set on the descision then ill accept it, but i cant be her friend because it hurts to even look at her, if she doesnt even agree to the coffee, then i know i have no chance Link to post Share on other sites
wmrjw82 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 No, you're entering the friends zone if you continue. Your choice...but that's where you will be if you contact her. Let her contact you. Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 You're trying to kid yourself into thinking 'you'll move on anyway'. Do not contact her and keep looking inwards and onwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Mixed28 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 WOW its like I am looking in a mirror right now. I was in my first relationship that lasted 2 months because I was clingy. It ended in November and I have not contacted her sence the day of the breakup. Do not contact her whatever you do. It will make you look more clingy and its better to walk away then push her away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roman_pavluchenko Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 cheers for the input guys, but if she does have feelings for me still, wouldnt it be better to contact her and ask to meet up and talk about what happened, i really dont think she'll contact me even if she did want to get back together, shes way too shy Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 cheers for the input guys, but if she does have feelings for me still, wouldnt it be better to contact her and ask to meet up and talk about what happened, i really dont think she'll contact me even if she did want to get back together, shes way too shy Hell no! Let her be a woman and talk to you. You need to just fall all the way back. Link to post Share on other sites
Mixed28 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Hell no! Let her be a woman and talk to you. You need to just fall all the way back. Listen to 9Lives just disappear. Please Please don't contact her it will PUSH HER AWAY! trust me on this. There is no point of keeping contact with her. She is gone. I know it sucks hard. I know what your going through the girl I loved and I really do mean I loved her dumped me after a 2 month relationship and is now with another guy so I know how it feels. Assume she is gone forever. If emotions weren't involved logic would tell us not to care about someone who does not want us right? becayse whats the point you want someone to want you if they don't they no longer matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roman_pavluchenko Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 Listen to 9Lives just disappear. Please Please don't contact her it will PUSH HER AWAY! trust me on this. There is no point of keeping contact with her. She is gone. I know it sucks hard. I know what your going through the girl I loved and I really do mean I loved her dumped me after a 2 month relationship and is now with another guy so I know how it feels. Assume she is gone forever. If emotions weren't involved logic would tell us not to care about someone who does not want us right? becayse whats the point you want someone to want you if they don't they no longer matter. yeah it makes sense, i just recieved information that she was having a tough time coping with the break-up and couldnt get me out of her head, i went to a uni thingy with her best friend today (who has a boyfriend who she really loves, and we have no interest in eachother as we have been friends for a while) and my ex got really angry seeing us together, although her friend explained to her that we went together as we were in the same class, what is wrong with her Link to post Share on other sites
Mixed28 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 yeah it makes sense, i just recieved information that she was having a tough time coping with the break-up and couldnt get me out of her head, i went to a uni thingy with her best friend today (who has a boyfriend who she really loves, and we have no interest in eachother as we have been friends for a while) and my ex got really angry seeing us together, although her friend explained to her that we went together as we were in the same class, what is wrong with her I have no idea but let her contact you. If she really likes you she will. But don't reply unless it is about getting back together. Read Gators guide to second chances on the break up forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roman_pavluchenko Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 I have no idea but let her contact you. If she really likes you she will. But don't reply unless it is about getting back together. Read Gators guide to second chances on the break up forum. yeah i've read that, i just feel kind of guilty because i didnt want her to feel hurt and i wasnt using her friend to get her back, i was pretty good friends with her before i started dating my ex and it was either go with her or go alone... Link to post Share on other sites
Mixed28 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 yeah i've read that, i just feel kind of guilty because i didnt want her to feel hurt and i wasnt using her friend to get her back, i was pretty good friends with her before i started dating my ex and it was either go with her or go alone... It sucks all around but you just have to focus on yourself. Have you ever wanted to get buff go out and do it man! Have you wanted to run 10 miles in one running go do it. Your only good option is to walk away which can do one of two things one it could get her back (not likely though and don't count on it, but it definately is the most affective way to get an ex back assuming no cheating or abusing is the reason someone got dumped which is not your case) or two you will move on but it takes a lot of time. Like I said I was in a 2 month relationship my first one it has now been 3 months after the breakup and I am still not 100% healed however I dont wake up hurt or go to bed hurt anymore and that terrible heart ache is gone (unless I see her in person then it comes back for a little bit then goes away again) so it does get better trust me you just need to take it day by day and try to focus on other things. Link to post Share on other sites
turokturok5 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 yeah ive been wanting to get buff for a while, determined to sign up for the gym, going to sign up at the gym at uni tomorrow woooo ive decided im not going to ask her to coffee, seemed like a good idea at the time but now its just stupid and im going to avoid group things for a few weeks primarily to avoid her, if it pisses my friends off so be it, they should understand. Link to post Share on other sites
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