LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

my ex has a new girlfriend but still calls me regularly when he is drunk


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 1st January 2011, 4:36 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1
my ex has a new girlfriend but still calls me regularly when he is drunk

This is a little long but I need some advice lol.

So me and my ex broke up last febuary. We were together about 2 years but we were never very stable. We fought a lot and much of the time I was the one starting them, especially if I was in a bad mood that day . I know this was wrong but I didn't really care at the time because we always made up. A few days after Valentine's day we got into a huge argument and we stopped talking completely. Neither of us called eachother and we never ended up making up like we usually did. On st. Patricks day I ended up getting really drunk and I called him. We met up and hooked up back at his house that night. We started hanging out again after that for a little but once we fought we stopped talking again. This continued for several months until September. One of us would gcall the other drunk and soon after we would hang out and act like we were together again until we would get into an argument and would stop talking. I used to ask him constantly if he was having sex with other girls and if he was seeing someone new. He always told me he wasn't and that he still cared about me and loved me. In june I wanted to get back together with him but he told me he just wanted to be friends because he said if we got back together we would end up just fighting and breaking up again. He said that in the future we would eventually get back together once I "grow up". He called me several time vover the summer and we hung out and acted like we were still together a lot of the time. In september I found out that he had been talking to another girl since the end of febuary and they. were starting to get more and more serious. I was really angry and hurt and even though we were not officially together I still felt played. I completely stopped talking to him after that. I called him drunk one time about 3 weeks after I found out about that girl and he was not sympathetic at all and denied doing anything wrong to me. He actually flipped it around on me and said that I was the one who ruined our relationship because of all the fights I used to start. He told me that we would still be together if it wasn't for me and that I pretty much hurt myself. He told me that he loved me but he was no longer in love with me anymore. We talked for about 40 minutes and then he told me that I can call him the next day when I'm sober and talk about things as long as I don't argue with him. I never called him after that. After that phone call he has been calling me in the middle of the night when he is drunk. He calls once a weekend for about 2 or 3 weekends in a row and then stops for 2 weeks and then calls again. I've never picked up his phone calls except one time. The one night I picked up and told him to leave me alone, he ended up calling me 27 times in a row (psycho). He is still with that girl and I don't understand why he still calls me when he gets drunk, especially since I never even pick up. He never calls or txts me sober or during the day. I know this may sound dumb of me but I still care about him, even though he lied to me for months. I refuse to talk to him because I know I should move on and because I'm still angry and hurt at the fact that he has yet to apologize or even admit to me that he did anything wrong. I also don't want to call him because I know he has a girlfriend. it really bothers me that he still calls me,drunk or not, because it makes me wonder if he still has feelings for me. What do you guys think? Should I pick up and talk to the kid the next time he calls or just continue to ignore him?
liss829 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st January 2011, 5:10 PM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Working on a clear blue summer sky, at BuddhaDhammaSangha
Posts: 22,838
change your number.
That should stop it.
And in the meantime - keep ignoring.
TaraMaiden is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st January 2011, 5:18 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: SouthWest Virginia USA
Posts: 319
Here's something I don't understand. I think you said (your post was long) that YOU were the one who started the fights?

Have you accepted responsibility for the problems in your relationship? Have you done so with him?

He is right to think things would just be the same if you got back together, UNLESS you both do something differently.

If he cared for you, I'm sure he wished things would have been different and you didn't fight so much. It's not like he wanted to break up, but he saw no alternative I suppose. I'm sure he still has feelings for you, that's why he keeps drunk dialing you.
__________________
It's not your fault if you're a victim, but it is your fault if you stay one
LifeIsGreat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st January 2011, 6:17 PM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 563
Quote:
Originally Posted by liss829 View Post
I used to ask him constantly if he was having sex with other girls and if he was seeing someone new. He always told me he wasn't and that he still cared about me and loved me.
Guys treat girls all the same. If he is having sex with you... he is having sex with the other girls too.

Quote:
In june I wanted to get back together with him but he told me he just wanted to be friends because he said if we got back together we would end up just fighting and breaking up again. He said that in the future we would eventually get back together once I "grow up".
Both of you need to grow up. He wants you to wait around for him in case he does want to be with you (which I doubt) once he gets bored screwing as many girls as he can.

Quote:
He is still with that girl and I don't understand why he still calls me when he gets drunk, especially since I never even pick up. He never calls or txts me sober or during the day.
He calls you when he is drunk because he is horny. In the past... you would always have sex with him.

Quote:
I know this may sound dumb of me but I still care about him, even though he lied to me for months.
He does not care about you. Your EX cheated on you once before, is cheating on his new GF and will cheat on you again if you ever date him again.

Why would you want to be with someone like that?

Quote:
I refuse to talk to him because I know I should move on and because I'm still angry and hurt at the fact that he has yet to apologize or even admit to me that he did anything wrong.
He was wrong. Will you forgive him?

There... No need to be hurt anymore... I just admitted he was wrong and apologized for him.

Quote:
I also don't want to call him because I know he has a girlfriend. it really bothers me that he still calls me,drunk or not, because it makes me wonder if he still has feelings for me.
All you are is someone to have sex with and all his actions confirm that. He does not have feelings for you anymore.

Quote:
What do you guys think? Should I pick up and talk to the kid the next time he calls or just continue to ignore him?
Should you pick up and answer his drunken calls? Sure... If all you want is to have sex with him... you will get nothing else though.
homebrew is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Girlfriend looks at her ex's Facebook pages regularly FooFighter Dating 71 2nd February 2010 7:22 PM
OMG How can I move on when she calls me drunk to tell me off Madandsad Coping 0 31st October 2009 10:30 AM
Drunk girlfriend kissed a drunk person known to me confusedguy12 Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 12 1st August 2009 5:54 PM
Drunk calls & Texts??? Awesome84 Friends and Lovers 9 25th July 2009 3:41 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:42 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.