in contact over the holiday period

[unluckyagain]

Hi there,

 

I bumped into my ex's mum last week which was nice. We are all family friends, so I have known her for quite some time. I didn't bring anything up from the past and didn't mention my ex, but her mum wanted to tell me the situation. I don't want to go into too much detail as I respect my ex private life and don't want to go posting it on the internet, even if this is anonymously. Somebody who my ex was fond of did something v bad to her when she was younger. Ever since, she can't handle it when she gets close to somebody and grows fond of them. So it is bitter sweet that the moment she fell for me big time, was the same time she couldn't handle it and is afraid to get hurt again. In the past she has always chosen s*** boyfriends, mainly because when it goes wrong she expects it, won't get hurt and can handle it and doesn't care about them.

 

A bit of a double edged sword. It is nice to know I didn't do anything wrong but at the same time that is why it has been difficult on me also.

 

It is 6 months since the break up. Met up once since then and we hadn't been in contact in over three months. Xmas day we texted each other and she sounded happy, said some nice things and called me darling. By the time it was the evening I told her I missed her. I haven't sent a text like that since we broke up, trying to move on. But I did cave in. For the last few years I have lived on the other side of the world from the rest of my family, so Christmas isn't easy being the only one (obviously spent xmas with very good friends, but this time of the year nothing replaces family). As strong willed as I have been, I just couldn't help myself. I got an answer back the following saying she misses me too and need to catch up more in the new year.

 

I have no idea what to do. I would be my usual self if we caught up and I know it would we would have great fun and lovely to see her again. I have never come across as needy and wouldn't fall apart in front of somebody either. But is this a smart thing to meet up with each other?

 

In an ideal world, yes I would like to reconcile. But the usual optimist in me isn't there this time. I am being more of a pessimist, probably because I don't want to get my hopes up.

[PegNosePete]

Is she wanting to try again, or is she wanting to just be friends?

 

If you're not sure then post the text contents, we will be able to tell you form an objective point of view.

[unluckyagain]

I don't really know, but either way she would keep her guard up. I have deleted the messages as I didn't even expect a reply when I texted that I missed her. But know most of what she said. "merry Christmas darling! Hope you and your family are well xx". A few more messages where exchanged during the day and when I sent her a text in the evening she replied the next morning "I miss you too, we should catch up more in the new year".