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For those who are struggling with NC...


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I am 9 days into my NC. The first few days were okay because it was like a breather from all of the drama and trying to come to terms with my decision to end the relationship. By the time the 3/4th day came, I was really missing her and struggling with my decision and asking myself was it the right thing to do? Obviously, after a breakup, we all go thru the emotions, especially, if you know you really loved the person are probably never going to see them again for the rest of your life. When I really start to get sad and hopeless about ending the relationship all I do is focus on the negativities of my ex. In other words, I hated the fact that:

 

I had to travel to her all the time.

I was paying for gas/tolls.

I was paying for dinner once I got there.

I was walking the dog (by myself) that she bought on 20 degree days/30mph winds, while she sat in the house.

I was the one doing her yardwork.

I was the one who "had" to be in the kitchen while "we" were cooking dinner.

I was the one who didnt have a voice.

I was the one forking out hundreds of dollars to go to a funeral for a friend of hers that I didnt even know. (plane, rental car, hotel, food) Even though she said all you have to do is pay for your ticket and I will pay the rest. NOT!

I was the one who went running to her in EVERY argument to save the relationship.

I was the one being so sensitive, caring, touchy/feely to make her feel loved yet I wasnt getting it in return.

etc., etc., etc.,

 

So, what I am getting at is my relationship was a ONE WAY street....HER WAY. Now that I am able step back and truly dissect the relationship, I realize how truly selfish she is and who wants to be in a relationship like that. I really gave in my relationship. If you are feeling bad and need something to make yourself feel better try focusing on their faults. Hope this helps someone.....

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Holy crap, I've made it to Day 48 of NC. You do get tempted at times to check her facebook, but I tell myself that no matter what, no matter what I find, it will make me feel worse.

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I gave in after a month of NC (minus a simple yes response to her getting some of her things). I looked at her FB and now I am angry over a post on her wall. I just spent the last few hours feeling lonely and wondering who she is with, etc. It seems like nothing but pain came out of it. I'm not going to do it again.

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