9Lives Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 well today was one of those days. I woke up feeling pretty sad today. I have been NC since aug 19th with my ex. He has text me about 3 times since then saying hi and checking on me. I have not responed until today. I said to him still in a lot of pain. Cared too much for u. still tryin to get over it. didn't realized u stop caring 4 me. still don't understand. time heals all wounds. I haven't heard back and I probably won't which is fine. at least I won't have to get those texts from him anymore checking on me. why did I say that? I don't know. I guess I wanted him to know I'm still going thru it. I wanted to get it off my chest I suppose. I don't expect to hear back. just wanted to vent for a change. what do u guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
RDawg Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 You have been on these boards a long time, you should know better. You shouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing how much damage they've caused. Either ignore it or ask him to contact you when he's actually got something meaningful to say. The dumper has no rights to enquire as to your well being. "I just caused you a whole world of pain, are you ok...??" Please! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 it happens to the best of us. but its all good. I don't regret it. he will probably leave me alone for good and that's okay. tired of hearing from him anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 You have been on these boards a long time, you should know better. You shouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing how much damage they've caused. Either ignore it or ask him to contact you when he's actually got something meaningful to say. The dumper has no rights to enquire as to your well being. "I just caused you a whole world of pain, are you ok...??" Please! I agree with this to a certain extent, but we all have our moments of weakness. Just don't do it again, 9lives. It's true that they don't need to know how we are doing. They gave up the right to that information when they dumped us. F*ck them. The best revenge is moving on with our lives and living well. The next time he texts you and you decide to respond, (which I think is a bad idea, but if you must, you must) tell him you're doing great even if it's the furthest thing from the truth. Just keep it short and sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
RDawg Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 That's the spirit 9Lives. What age are you? Would you like a nice South African boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 That's the spirit 9Lives. What age are you? Would you like a nice South African boyfriend? Are you asking me or 9lives? I'm 31 and I live in NY. There's quite a bit of distance between us, Dawg! Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Are you asking me or 9lives? I'm 31 and I live in NY. There's quite a bit of distance between us, Dawg! Hahahahaha ok nevermind:p Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 I agree with this to a certain extent, but we all have our moments of weakness. Just don't do it again, 9lives. It's true that they don't need to know how we are doing. They gave up the right to that information when they dumped us. F*ck them. The best revenge is moving on with our lives and living well. The next time he texts you and you decide to respond, (which I think is a bad idea, but if you must, you must) tell him you're doing great even if it's the furthest thing from the truth. Just keep it short and sweet. yes a moment of weakness is right. lesson learned. why do they ask and then get silent on you. why do they even care? its jsut so funny how people are. I don't understand reaaly. but nevertheless, I'm on board. no more opening up to ex. thanks for letting me know. I think my emotions got me this morning. I'm originally from NY but living in TX now. Link to post Share on other sites
RDawg Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Haha indeed Shannon. If that's you in your avatar, ( the one on the left? ) it might well be worth relocating. Seriously tho, they should have an annual convention for all us love shackers, can you imagine the party? Ok, enough thread jacking, I'm off to bed. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 yes a moment of weakness is right. lesson learned. why do they ask and then get silent on you. why do they even care? its jsut so funny how people are. I don't understand reaaly. but nevertheless, I'm on board. no more opening up to ex. thanks for letting me know. I think my emotions got me this morning. I'm originally from NY but living in TX now. They check up on us to see if they still have their hooks in us. To see if we are still pining for them. By not responding or by saying "im great" they don't get the satisfaction of knowing you are still thinking about them. Silence is the best way to go. So they sit and wonder whats going on. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Haha indeed Shannon. If that's you in your avatar, ( the one on the left? ) it might well be worth relocating. Seriously tho, they should have an annual convention for all us love shackers, can you imagine the party? Ok, enough thread jacking, I'm off to bed. It would be an awesome party hahahahahaha:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 If you don't feel bad, then you did the right thing. Give it time to set in though. Right now, it's like a drug and you are still on the "high". Really, in a break up it's no different than substance addiction. We are all seeking that high of contacting them or hearing from them and damn if we'll put our own bodies and minds through hell to get that. Though, next time just write out the message but don't send it. It gives you near the same feeling without actually doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 If you don't feel bad, then you did the right thing. Give it time to set in though. Right now, it's like a drug and you are still on the "high". Really, in a break up it's no different than substance addiction. We are all seeking that high of contacting them or hearing from them and damn if we'll put our own bodies and minds through hell to get that. Though, next time just write out the message but don't send it. It gives you near the same feeling without actually doing it. I know what u mean about the drug effect. I kinda feel good cause I think it pushed him further away. like since he knows, he is gonna run further away. he has responded so thaty tells me he not tryna hear that. good then..stay away! cause I haven't picked up the phone once to call him. my ex don't mean me no good so I will be fine soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 well today was one of those days. I woke up feeling pretty sad today. I have been NC since aug 19th with my ex. He has text me about 3 times since then saying hi and checking on me. I have not responed until today. I said to him still in a lot of pain. Cared too much for u. still tryin to get over it. didn't realized u stop caring 4 me. still don't understand. time heals all wounds. I haven't heard back and I probably won't which is fine. at least I won't have to get those texts from him anymore checking on me. why did I say that? I don't know. I guess I wanted him to know I'm still going thru it. I wanted to get it off my chest I suppose. I don't expect to hear back. just wanted to vent for a change. what do u guys think? I've been tempted to break NC for this too. She hasn't contacted me, but I really want an explaination as to why my ex was talking about our future five days before dumping me. But even if she gave me an answer, I'm not sure I'd believe it. Better to stick to NC I think. Are you asking me or 9lives? I'm 31 and I live in NY. There's quite a bit of distance between us, Dawg! I don't suppose you'd date younger men? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 I've been tempted to break NC for this too. She hasn't contacted me, but I really want an explaination as to why my ex was talking about our future five days before dumping me. But even if she gave me an answer, I'm not sure I'd believe it. Better to stick to NC I think. I don't suppose you'd date younger men? 9Lives is a woman. always has been. LOL. got to say that nowawdays. I would break NC to reveal your thought. he came to me but I messed up still. just keep doing what u been doing. learn from the experienced ones like me Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 I've been tempted to break NC for this too. She hasn't contacted me, but I really want an explaination as to why my ex was talking about our future five days before dumping me. But even if she gave me an answer, I'm not sure I'd believe it. Better to stick to NC I think. I don't suppose you'd date younger men? Who are you talking to Ajax? Me or 9lives? I date younger men. My ex was 4 years younger then me, but acted very mature for his age. Until of course, he cheated on me with a young 20 year old. He's gone backwards, I'm afraid. I think I'd like to date an older man for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Who are you talking to Ajax? Me or 9lives? I date younger men. My ex was 4 years younger then me, but acted very mature for his age. Until of course, he cheated on me with a young 20 year old. He's gone backwards, I'm afraid. I think I'd like to date an older man for a change. Darn, I'm 27 and was thinking I'd like to date an older woman for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
redmelon Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Don't beat yourself up. Who cares what he knows? It changes nothing. Focus on you and your healing... Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 (edited) Darn, I'm 27 and was thinking I'd like to date an older woman for a change. If you're mature and have your sh*t together, that makes all the difference in the world. Age is nothing but a number, unless you were like 14 or something hahahahaha:laugh: Edited October 14, 2010 by ShannonMI Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 If you're mature and have your sh*t together, that makes all the difference in the world. Age is nothing but a number, unless you were like 14 or something hahahahaha:laugh: My sh*t's together, I have a place of my own, a car, a job, but since I'm in grad school I don't have a lot of money to spend on dating. I didn't drop a million bucks on my ex, but I put a lot of thought and heart into things for her. She's a couple years younger than me, and apperantly hasn't figured out what she wants out of life yet. I'm really thinking that dating someone a little bit older than me might be the way to go. After all, my dad did it and that turned out fine Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 (edited) My sh*t's together, I have a place of my own, a car, a job, but since I'm in grad school I don't have a lot of money to spend on dating. I didn't drop a million bucks on my ex, but I put a lot of thought and heart into things for her. She's a couple years younger than me, and apperantly hasn't figured out what she wants out of life yet. I'm really thinking that dating someone a little bit older than me might be the way to go. After all, my dad did it and that turned out fine Making a ton of money doesn't and shouldn't matter. Like you said, as long as you live on your own, have a car and a job then that's great! And going to grad school doesn't hurt either! Most women like a man with goals and it sounds like you have them, which is terrific. You should have no problem finding a lady. How much older do you want to go? You want a girl that's a few years older or a total cougar? Edited October 14, 2010 by ShannonMI Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Making a ton of money doesn't and shouldn't matter. Like you said, as long as you live on your own, have a car and a job then that's great! And going to grad school doesn't hurt either! Most women like a man with goals and it sounds like you have them, which is terrific. You should have no problem finding a lady. How much older do you want to go? You want a girl that's a few years older or a total cougar? Probably not too much older. I'd like to have kids of my own someday, so I want to be with someone who I can start a family with. But it seems like a lot of women even in their mid twenties aren't over the college lifestyle, or aren't really sure where they're going. Nothing against that, I just want someone who does. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Probably not too much older. I'd like to have kids of my own someday, so I want to be with someone who I can start a family with. But it seems like a lot of women even in their mid twenties aren't over the college lifestyle, or aren't really sure where they're going. Nothing against that, I just want someone who does. I hear you. My ex is your age and he's living his college years again. Or I should say he's living the college years he never got to experience because he was in a committed relationship with me started when he was 19. Explains a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Billie The Puppet Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Wow ShannonMI you seem to be getting the male dumpees chasing you even though it's all jokes. I was tempted to say the same things before in other threads we crossed paths in. Just look at all the attention you are getting. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 I told my ex the pain, you know what she said? "why are you telling me this?" and "after we broke up, I could thinking clearly again" Link to post Share on other sites
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