jane-mary Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Hi everyone, So yesterday I asked a guy I have been seeing for more- phone calls and consistency. We were supposed to go away for memorial day weekend together, I felt that after 5 months I deserved more than him disappering and coming back. It was wearing down on me and then when I told him that, he broke up with me. I wasn't expecting it, and he blames me because he says he could never do anything right in my eyes! I didn't get to defend myself, I felt that there was someone else and I forced him to choose. I supported this guy through the hard times he went through and now that his life is fine, I'm thrown under the bus! I apologized to him for hurting his feelings but I explained that I had just wanted to get closer to him. I feel I should have defended myself but oh well, I will not contact him again! He's hurt me enough. I didn't expect him to be so heartless, it hurts bad. I thought his not paying me attention was because of the personal problems he was having and I tried to be there for him and be understanding. He usually comes back and apologizes but this time it's final because he was just mean about it and now I see the light. His problem is now solved and I'm hurt by the way he broke up with me. I just cried last night and he's probably having fun. I'm glad I know where I stand but it hurts, I have a feeling another woman is involved because of the suddenness and meaness of it. Will he ever see the good I did or he won't because I just kept quiet and didn't defend myself? I feel like I'm being punished for asking for what any self respecting woman would ask for! Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I feel like I'm missing something here... You had plans to go away together just a few days away here, but still you had this conversation where you told him that you deserve more? Two possibilities (maybe others, but these are the two that pop out from your post: (1) He was looking for a way out anyway - whether or not there is "someone else." In which case, there's nothing you could have done as far as "defending yourself", and it's a waste of time worrying about what he thinks now, as the outcome was predetermined by him anyway. (2) He wasn't looking for a way out, but you reached too far, too fast, etc. Now, I'm not taking you to task for that on its own, necessarily, but you should consider that he may have perceived that he was already planning to go away with you for the weekend, and yet, not only was that still not enough for you, but beyond that, you built it all into an assumption that he was seeing someone else, and so you were "making him choose..." If you were wrong about him seeing someone else and you backed him into a corner by by bringing that up at the same time as you are not jus asking him for more, but telling him, "I deserve more", then it might have been too much for him. Incidentally, none of this should be taken as my support of his being mean to you in the process of breaking it off, but I'm just trying to understand how the two of you are/were positioned in this relationship, and in this situation that led to the breakup... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jane-mary Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 Maybe I did push him but I felt that he was being flaky. I wasn't even sure if those plans were solid considering his past actions. I thought I deserved at least some phone calls, he just texted me and he only called when he was coming to see me. I know he talked to other girls who were his friends on the phone so, I felt that he could at least do that for me too. Link to post Share on other sites
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